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I need a little advise. My parents are living their retirement dream and traveling in an RV. My husband and I took over their mortgage and live in their house. My parents return to the house every other month for doctor appointments for my mom. When they return they stay in the guest bedroom. Since my surgery my husband and I really try to eat healthier and stay active. However when my parents come to stay my mom brings in a lot of junk food. I'm not sure how to approach her about it. She will ask if I want something from the store and I will say no, and she buys it anyway. I know the adult thing to do is say don't bring junk food into our house, but it's my mom. I grew up respecting my parents and a part of me feels that this is still their house. My parents supported my decision for the surgery and are very proud of my weight loss. I have many conversations with her about eating healthier for her health and she still falls back into old habits of eating nothing but sweets.

Help! How do I respect my mom, but also respect my new healthier life style.

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Maybe ask that if they do bring in junk food, to keep it in a closet in their room? Just he very kind and tell her how much you appreciate them bringing in goodies, but it's very tough for you to resist when they're in plain sight and it's crucial that you avoid sweets for the time being...

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Respect is good, but you are an adult now. If you are paying the mortgage, trust me, it's your house.

Your parents want the best for you, including good health and happiness. It is okay to politely ask them for their help. Explain to them that it is very hard for you to deal with the junk food in the house at this stage. Tell them it would help you a great deal if they would not bring any of that to your house. Ask them that if they do, would they please keep it and eat it in their room so you are not tempted. Since they are so supportive, my bet is that they will be very glad to help you. Keep your mother's eating habits out of the discussion so you don't muddy the Water. She is an adult too and you have to respect her choices even if you don't agree.

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I came to the conclusion last year that food is how my mum shows care. It's not love, because she can show that in many ways but she doesn't know how to care for me or my sister in any other way than to feed us (or encourage us to feed ourselves). I found this out when I was on a VLCD last year. She was thrown on how to show that she cared. Then I had the RNY 6 weeks ago and again, she's a little lost.

I don't think you need a head-on discussion if you feel that you might hurt her feelings. You're an adult now and you can say no to the food that she brings into the house. Just becuase you see it and it's there, doesn't mean you have to eat it. 'None for me thanks' is all you need to say. It might hurt her feelings a little that you're rejecting the food she's bought you but at least it's a way of letting her know without a full on confrontation.

Good luck, however you handle it :-)

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