Anger Anyone?

[Momonanomo 534]

I believe it's been wacky hormones for me.

About a month or so ago I was SO ANGRY at work that I made someone cry when she turned in some things late. There is no question that she turned them in late and that it caused problems for me, but I am usually soooo much more tolerant. At the time I felt entirely justified reprimanding her, and actually even now I could say it was justified. It's just not my usual style, so to speak. I have since apologized, and she has too.

It's funny how when you're in the midst of a meltdown, your actions & reactions seem entirely justified. And it doesn't necessarily occur to us at that time that it *might* be hormones that are making us freak out.

Hormones are sooooo sneaky!

I think I am now back to my old chill self. I think I am anyways. Reality is in the eye of the beholder, right?!? Anyways, having ruminated on the whole thing a bit, my take on it is this: I need to be super aware that I have been short tempered lately, likely due to the weight loss and/or low calories and/or hormonal changes. I need to take a moment if I find myself getting angry to really evaluate these feelings. I need to look at the situation as objectively as possible and try to act accordingly and in a rational way. I need to have my antennae up to the possibility that I am maaaaayyybeeeee currently predisposed to over reacting....

[sophiepants 489]

Any Idea "I know people are different" On when it will pass!! Because I'm hating myself right now snapping at my husband and son!! I feel horrible!!

[sophiepants 489]

I believe it's been wacky hormones for me.

About a month or so ago I was SO ANGRY at work that I made someone cry when she turned in some things late. There is no question that she turned them in late and that it caused problems for me, but I am usually soooo much more tolerant. At the time I felt entirely justified reprimanding her, and actually even now I could say it was justified. It's just not my usual style, so to speak. I have since apologized, and she has too.

It's funny how when you're in the midst of a meltdown, your actions & reactions seem entirely justified. And it doesn't necessarily occur to us at that time that it *might* be hormones that are making us freak out.

Hormones are sooooo sneaky!

I think I am now back to my old chill self. I think I am anyways. Reality is in the eye of the beholder, right?!? Anyways, having ruminated on the whole thing a bit, my take on it is this: I need to be super aware that I have been short tempered lately, likely due to the weight loss and/or low calories and/or hormonal changes. I need to take a moment if I find myself getting angry to really evaluate these feelings. I need to look at the situation as objectively as possible and try to act accordingly and in a rational way. I need to have my antennae up to the possibility that I am maaaaayyybeeeee currently predisposed to over reacting....

Thank You ! That's me!!! You brought up great points! I think your on to something here.

I'm going to try a "pep" talk when I feel myself getting all pissy! I have angry pms as is but this crap takes the cake.....(pun intended)

[Cabingirl 55]

My bariatric GI watches vit D3 levels carefully - not just for the impact on bones, but because it can definitely affect mood and cause depression. He feels that what is "low normal" for a none bariatric patient is too low for a VSG patient. Ask your doctor to include D3 in any upcoming blood tests and be sure you're getting the required amount orally.

Thiamine is also important for us, and it requires replenishment daily.

[sophiepants 489]

My bariatric GI watches vit D3 levels carefully - not just for the impact on bones, but because it can definitely affect mood and cause depression. He feels that what is "low normal" for a none bariatric patient is too low for a VSG patient. Ask your doctor to include D3 in any upcoming blood tests and be sure you're getting the required amount orally.

Thiamine is also important for us, and it requires replenishment daily.

Oh thank you for that! I see them tomorrow and they will be ordering blood then. I do take a drop of vit D 2000 IU a day but here in Northern WA we don't get to much natural vit D. I do not take Thiamine was not required to..."yet". I will add that to my questions also.

[graphix1 6]

<p>Any Idea "I know people are different" On when it will pass!! Because I'm hating myself right now snapping at my husband and son!! I feel horrible!!</p>

Not sure when it will pass but I'm asking my dr for Valium or Xanax.

[gamergirl 4,610]

Hey girl, yeah I think it happens to all of us. It is normal and I will echo what Momonanomo said about being hyper aware of it and trying to take a deep breath before reaction. Estrogen is stored in fat. When the fat is released, estrogen floods your system and makes you all kinds of cuckoo.

In your case though, I wonder if some of it isn't exacerbated by your husband coming home? My husband and I love each other very much, but when one of us has been gone, even for a few days, we have a short adjustment time where we have to settle in together again. The little things they do that we got used to when living together, we have to get used to again.

In your case, he was gone for five months. You and your son got into a habit, a routine, and you got to do things your way. Now he's back and you can't live exactly like you did, you have to adjust to being part of a couple again.

No matter the love, that adjustment takes a few days. Initially when my husband was in Alaska for 3 weeks at a time, it was really hard when he came home and after missing each other terribly, we'd end up snapping at each other for the first few days. Even now, if I'm gone for 2-3 days, which I often am, it can take us all of one evening to adjust to each other.

So give yourself some time and acknowledge that re-adjusting to being part of a couple requires us to be somewhat "unselfish", and we do get "selfish" when our spouses are gone.

[sophiepants 489]

GG This is why I like you so much!! You really look into what people say!

I know that others on here do not know much about me. We have PM'd a few times and you know more of my history than most.

I never thought about that aspect either. (lordy you'd think I was a simpleton....not that there's anything wrong with that) But I think with the surgery I lost a few brain cells. SIGH...

It is was stressful having no husband and no support from him (if that makes since. he did support me everyday while away but no physical support ) from a few days after my surgery. Until 3 months out. It is always difficult when he leaves, is gone and comes home.

I understand he needs to work and I always support him when we have to chose that he must go, but I almost resent it if that makes since. It is a catch 52 if you will.

I'm a freaking mess!!!

[sophiepants 489]

Not sure when it will pass but I'm asking my dr for Valium or Xanax.

Oh that does sound heavenly to just be chill for a month

[gamergirl 4,610]

GG This is why I like you so much!! You really look into what people say!

I know that others on here do not know much about me. We have PM'd a few times and you know more of my history than most.

I never thought about that aspect either. (lordy you'd think I was a simpleton....not that there's anything wrong with that) But I think with the surgery I lost a few brain cells. SIGH...

It is was stressful having no husband and no support from him (if that makes since. he did support me everyday while away but no physical support ) from a few days after my surgery. Until 3 months out. It is always difficult when he leaves, is gone and comes home.

I understand he needs to work and I always support him when we have to chose that he must go, but I almost resent it if that makes since. It is a catch 52 if you will.

I'm a freaking mess!!!

yes it does make sense. You can understand he has to be gone and still be resentful of him for being gone. It's normal. As long as you catch yourself and don't take it out on him, it's fine

I saw your earlier post a few days after he was back saying he was driving you nuts, and I was like, "yup, I know what's happening there!" I should have reached out then.

I don't think it's lost brain cells, I think it's a lot of change at once. he's home, you're smaller, you've had surgery...there's a lot going on. Give yourself a break and just breathe. It will get easier. And let him know it's not that you're mad at him. It's just that you're mad, and he sometimes happens to be there

[mistysj 1,940]

If you are used to eating your feelings and you can't do it anymore, they will come to the surface. Realize that anger is not bad, wrong, sinful, whatever. Nobody died from being angry. Let yourself feel it. See if you can trace it. Think back over the last few hours or days. It may be that someone is not treating you right. It may be that people are treating you better since you have lost weight. Or maybe people are putting expectations on you that you aren't comfortable with. I get angry realizing how much of life I missed because I was fat and how many times I decided I wasn't worthy of love or happiness because I was fat. I have had to grieve for my old self and honor my feelings, in order to move forward.

[sophiepants 489]

If you are used to eating your feelings and you can't do it anymore, they will come to the surface. Realize that anger is not bad, wrong, sinful, whatever. Nobody died from being angry. Let yourself feel it. See if you can trace it. Think back over the last few hours or days. It may be that someone is not treating you right. It may be that people are treating you better since you have lost weight. Or maybe people are putting expectations on you that you aren't comfortable with. I get angry realizing how much of life I missed because I was fat and how many times I decided I wasn't worthy of love or happiness because I was fat. I have had to grieve for my old self and honor my feelings, in order to move forward.

I relied on sweets cake mostly ( my husband would buy me a whole cake sometimes when I asked for a piece. I never complained mind you) and I would eat it in 2 days.

Thank you for being a reasonable voice here also!! Anger is not bad your right! I just felt like I have no valid reason to be so mad. All the reasons you mentioned are prefect examples of why it's ok to be angered sometimes.

I am being treated differently if I really think into it. More people look you in the eye. I have even got longer looks from men (and to be honest I really don't like it) But that's just me now. I don't know what to do when I get those looks.

My husband and I had a talk about what may have triggered my weight gain. We pinned the start of it back when he was in the military and his soldiers would (apprise) me more than I was comfortable. He was fine with it knew I loved him and I'm sure felt proud in some way. It was shortly after a night where a few said I was acting in a way I would never act. (It was how they seen it in there eyes) I was just being me. My husband was amazed they thought that. And I must have in my head freaked out. I started to gain to keep the unwanted attractions away.

MMM I haven't thought bout that in so long.

Anger at missing the last 5 years. Holding me back from functions, activities I enjoy is another.

I am thinking about things I haven't in years. You all are such a huge help! I feel like this is therapy and I must need it because releasing these thought free in my head are helping me understand myself more again! I suppose that's why we call it a support site!

[sophiepants 489]

yes it does make sense. You can understand he has to be gone and still be resentful of him for being gone. It's normal. As long as you catch yourself and don't take it out on him, it's fine

I saw your earlier post a few days after he was back saying he was driving you nuts, and I was like, "yup, I know what's happening there!" I should have reached out then.

I don't think it's lost brain cells, I think it's a lot of change at once. he's home, you're smaller, you've had surgery...there's a lot going on. Give yourself a break and just breathe. It will get easier. And let him know it's not that you're mad at him. It's just that you're mad, and he sometimes happens to be there

You have been a help in more ways than I can say!! you are such a great reader.

Yes a lot has happened in a short time you are right. I don't have the best patience in the world. I need to just relax sometimes remember why I love my small family and breath......deep breaths.

I explained my anger to him today in my melt down. It's hard for him to see me all (crazy) he panics. lol I have read these posts to him and I believe it makes him feel better knowing I'm not alone and have support .I do love him most. But sometimes...... sigh

[Seela 1,187]

I am definitely feeling depressed. And my family is driving me crazy. I'm on my feet all day at work and at only 4 weeks out by the time I get home I'm exhausted and sore. They act like I'm being lazy and it seems like I have to keep reminding them that I just had surgery. The other day my husband said.. 'that was like 4 weeks ago'... as if I should be all better and over it by now. Everyone is expecting to much and its really making it harder. Sorry for the rant but I really needed to get that off my chest. Did I mention my kids were driving me crazy?

[Hidden from view 159]

I am definitely feeling depressed. And my family is driving me crazy. I'm on my feet all day at work and at only 4 weeks out by the time I get home I'm exhausted and sore. They act like I'm being lazy and it seems like I have to keep reminding them that I just had surgery. The other day my husband said.. 'that was like 4 weeks ago'... as if I should be all better and over it by now. Everyone is expecting to much and its really making it harder. Sorry for the rant but I really needed to get that off my chest. Did I mention my kids were driving me crazy?

Gee, it takes a lot longer than 4 weeks to heal! It's easy to forget, because we have such tiny incision sites, but we have had MAJOR SURGERY. You didn't have a tooth filled! Of course you are tired. You need to rest. It's tough that you have to work, especially on your feet all day. It takes at least 6-8 weeks to recover from such major surgery, and some people need 3 months of rest afterwards.