I Lived Through This Surgery, My Sister Didn't.

[VSG AJH 499]

I agree with Amanda -- while your sister's story is awful and so tragic, it sounds like there were a number of factors involved in her death. It certainly seems that she experienced a complication from her weight loss surgery, but then had negligent care afterwards. All surgeries come with risks, even very common everyday things like c-sections and tooth extractions, yet people continue to do them. Why? Because the alternative -- the not doing them -- could lead to the very same kind of risks and complications. The majority of us who are here on these threads aren't having a risky surgery to take off a few vanity pounds, rather we're here to undertake a risky opportunity with the hope that it can both extend and improve our lives. By not doing it, we stay where we are, staring down or struggling with chronic obesity-related illnesses that will likely shorten our lives and/or lead to other kinds of risky surgeries. I'm extraordinarily sorry for your loss, and I hope your sister's story doesn't drive people away from the sleeve, but rather encourages them to move towards this surgery with eyes wide open, fully understanding the risks involved.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

To those that are saying "if you have no quality of life, its worth the risk" I beg of you to think of your families that you could leave behind. My sister was in so much pain from her knees and the doctors told her that they wouldn't help her unless she lost weight, but because of her pain she really couldn't loose it on her own. So, she had the surgery. I think if she knew she was going to die she would have rather lived in that much pain just to have the chance to watch her kids grow up... I know she would have.

Think of what you could leave behind... make sure THATS worth the risk....

Honestly, as susccessful as I have been, I do wish I hadn't done it. It WASN"T worth the risk. I thank God everyday that I am safe and healthy, but I live everyday with the guilt that she needed the surgery to live comfortable, and died.

I waited until my children were older and did not need me day to day or minute to minute....For me it was worth the risk for your sister no..The worst possible thing happened to her and I am sorry for that and your ongoing grief...But for most of us here it may be worth the risk...We have a chance to totally change our lives and the prospect of feeling healthier and living longer...'

Even though I new that the possibility of death was there I believed that that certainly could not happen to me....I was so wrong...I almost died and am still suffering the effects of everything going wrong.

I wish I had been more aware of the of the risks not just about the possible chance of dying but all the other things that happened to me as well...Some others on here have not had an easy go of it either..I am just one of a few of them....

Weighing the risks and deciding if it was worth it was my own decision... I had no quality of life...I was the living dead and thought of ending my life 2 times because of the burden I was placing on my family looking after me....After all the worst was over with the trouble...I did begin to live and got healthier and am able to hold my grand daughter tight and cook a meal for my hubby and walk now, can I ever walk....

These are the reasons the risk was worth it to me personally...Others I am sure have their reasons...

It is awful and my heart breaks for you and your family for all you are going through...I think your experience needs to be told to help people see that not everyone works out.....Your sister made her decision based on what she knew and I think that the medical field failed her not the surgery.....

Please understand that there is a place for WLS in our obese world and so many have benefited from it..Like me....

[BKLYNgal87 503]

Although I am very sorry for your loss, this is a rare and unusual case. I've never heard of anyone dying at my bariactric center. I know it can happen but don't be scared to have your surgery. Be excited for your new birthday! Look forward to all the great things ahead. Stress will only hinder your healing process. I hate seeing stories like this. Sounds like malpractice on the doctors side or somebody wasn't doing what they were supposed to.

I don't think Lyndsey's goal in posting her sister's story was to scare anyone out of going under the knife, per se, but it's a warning and a reminder that there are inherent risks in surgical procedures (btw this is nowhere close to exclusive to bariatric surgery). Those risks are compounded by many factors - some related to the quality of care received, some related to underlying conditions in the patient, some are less defined. Mortality isn't common at all, that's true, but when one says something like "this story is sad but it's so rare, it's so unusual" part of me feels that it's trivializing the experiences of the families who did lose loved ones. It wasn't "rare" enough for them to not experience it.

All of us took (or are considering taking) a risk. There are a lot of unknowns out there too, even for those who heal well and don't experience complications. Think about this: there are no longitudinal studies on VSG patients - the procedure hasn't been around long enough. It may be the right choice for a lot of people to make here and now who can't lose the weight any other way, but that doesn't mean anyone should brush off the risks, the stats, or the unknowns. Every patient should be well informed, but we should all also listen to that little voice in the back of our heads. If something doesn't seem right or you don't feel ready, don't go through with it. This is one of the hardest decisions many of us will ever make. No one should do themselves the disservice of deciding without seriously considering all possibilities.

[Essence33 90]

To those that are saying "if you have no quality of life, its worth the risk" I beg of you to think of your families that you could leave behind. My sister was in so much pain from her knees and the doctors told her that they wouldn't help her unless she lost weight, but because of her pain she really couldn't loose it on her own. So, she had the surgery. I think if she knew she was going to die she would have rather lived in that much pain just to have the chance to watch her kids grow up... I know she would have.

Think of what you could leave behind... make sure THATS worth the risk....

Honestly, as susccessful as I have been, I do wish I hadn't done it. It WASN"T worth the risk. I thank God everyday that I am safe and healthy, but I live everyday with the guilt that she needed the surgery to live comfortable, and died.

May I ask which procedure she had?

[clwhughes 0]

During my surgery my surgeon nicked my spleen (as best we can tell). I was bleeding internally and nearly died (my husband saved me- he was the one who realized something was wrong after the surgery). My blood pressure was 50/0 and my heart rate was 34. This is uncompensated shock (or stage 3 shock) and few people survive. My husband and I are paramedics and know how close to death I was. I got 5 units of blood and was still low, but the bleeding had stopped. My surgeon told me he had done the procedure over 400 times and had never had a complication. I am fine now. I had lost 72 pounds before my surgery and have lost 106 as of today (my surgery was Sept 16, 2013). Surgery has risks and so does anesthesia. I had an excellent surgeon- and still believe he is excellent! He is human and all humans make mistakes. You need to weigh those risks very carefully before you take the plunge. This is not an "easy fix" to make you skinny. I chose the surgery because I knew I could lose weight but I always gain it back. I knew I couldn't keep doing that. I had NO health problems before the surgery but I knew it was only a matter of time.

[LyndseyD 106]

BKLYNgal87: you are right. I wasn't trying to "scare off" anyone.

I just wanted to be her voice. How are the people who don't make it supposed to be heard if we don't speak for them?

Also, yes it does feel like Amanda Nicole Hosaflook is brushing off what happened by what she said.. that hurt. It may be rare but she was MY SISTER!!! Amanda Nicole Hosaflook-how fing rare does it feel? let me tell you, not even a little when it happens to your family. All the studies in the world don't change how raw this pain in my heart is, how much it hurts to know that my big sister, my only sibling, is gone. How much it sucked to try to have a normal thanksgiving when she was the cook in the family? do you even have feelings? Really? dont you DARE jump my case about "scaring people off" by sharing her TRUE story... just as you have the right to jump on here and start trivializing my family's experience, I have the right to share her story and encourage people to make smart decisions and be educated about what your doing to your body, and the choice your making.

[No game 14,437]

Dear op,

While I have not commented on this thread I have been following it. And first off my condolences to you and your family. I understand you wanting to be her voice. We have had members here pass before and sometimes family members will come and post as you did, other times they just silently disappear without much notice....

I may be mistaken but I did not take the other post as an attack or meant to trivialize your loss.

At the end of the day this is a major surgery and all of us need to do our do diligence in researching it and make our own decision.

yes we all rolled the dice with this surgery, just as we do everyday in life to some extent

and and most of us make it through and reap the rewards.

Again my deepest sympathies go out to you..

Please take care and don't put your energy into the small stuff

[*susan* 1,709]

I am so sorry for your loss,the love you have for your sister comes through, and having lost my own sister, I understand how it leaves an empty space in your heart. My condolences to you and your entire family.

[Kindle 8,667]

LyndsayD,

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my younger brother 18 months ago and still feel his loss everyday. I know how hard all of those"first" holidays are when someone you love is not there. Thank you for coming here to share her story and to be her voice. Everyone needs to hear what can happen with VSG....if not for themselves, then at least for their families. I'm sorry others have overlooked your pain in their responses. You just keep doing whatever you need to to get through this.

[LoveAfterWLS 62]

I am so sorry to hear of your sister's passing. This surgery, like any other surgery, has it's risks. We all know that going into it but most of us think it won't happen to us. I can't imagine how devastated you and your family must be. Take comfort in knowing your sister is dancing on the streets of gold and with you on your journey.

[Amanda Nicole Hosaflook 65]

I'm so sorry. I wasn't trying to brush your sister off. I didn't mean to offend you. I'm just interested in seeing what the cause of death was. After I posted this somebody who just had their surgery at my center passed away. It's terrible losing one of ours. However, many judged first and said it was because of his surgery. It was not actually. He had a blocked artery in his heart and died of a heart attack. I was just trying to be a little more encouraging by my reply to people who may have felt uneasy about the surgery after your post. Again, sorry if you took this in the wrong way.

[rocker-kittie56 13]

To those that are saying "if you have no quality of life, its worth the risk" I beg of you to think of your families that you could leave behind. My sister was in so much pain from her knees and the doctors told her that they wouldn't help her unless she lost weight, but because of her pain she really couldn't loose it on her own. So, she had the surgery. I think if she knew she was going to die she would have rather lived in that much pain just to have the chance to watch her kids grow up... I know she would have.

Think of what you could leave behind... make sure THATS worth the risk....

Honestly, as susccessful as I have been, I do wish I hadn't done it. It WASN"T worth the risk. I thank God everyday that I am safe and healthy, but I live everyday with the guilt that she needed the surgery to live comfortable, and died.

Well I have hip and back pain from a car accident, and no doctors would help me to manage my pain, and that is the same reason I got the surgery, because nothing else was helping. I can barely walk still, but since the surgery I can stand longer without hip and back pain. I can walk farther than before too. I love my husband and I would hate to leave him behind, but he knew there were risks and he knew I did what I did for a chance at a better life. I say it's a choice that everyone has to make and follow all the rules to the diet. If you don't think it's worth the risk, don't get the surgery. You could follow the diet they give you. I lost a ton of weight before just diet and exercise. I tried to tell myself I had the surgery, and tried to lose weight that way. The thing is lifestyle change. My surgeon says that the surgery is only a tool to help with a lifestyle change. So I say to anyone wanting the surgery, but afraid to take the risk...follow the diet anyway. See if it works for you.

[GypsyQueen 198]

So sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your sister's story, along with your own. It's tragic for all in your family and hopefully the kind words of those who respond lend some small comfort to you.

[SoPeachy28 53]

My prayers and condolences got out to you and your family and her husband and her three kids! This surgery does have risks! That's one of my biggest worries with the surgery. I have two kids of my own and I need and want to be there for everything with them. I can't imagine her children's heartache along with her husband and family. She was beautiful and always will be. Keep her story traveling to send the msg that people have to do their research with surgeons, hospitals, the procedure and everything else! I'm truly sorry for your loss!

[need2bthin! 235]

THank you all again for your kind thoughts, prayers, and support. I would love to tell you all which hospitals (yes there were more than one!) let her fall through the cracks, but at this time, because of possible legal issues I should probably keep that information back unitl we decide as a family if we're going to persue this legally. I will say, one thing that happened to her right after the surgery is she had to have a swallow test (I did also, standard procedure for our doctor) and the radiologist who did the test forced her to drink way more than she should have, and she got very sick immediatly. I think this is where her problems started, and spiraled out of control from there. So, if they ask you to do a swallow test, and you feel too full, or it hurts, stand up for yourself and do not let them pressure you into taking in more than you can handle. As a patient you have to be you own advocate.

First, I'd like to say I'm so sorry for your loss. She was beautiful. Also, this is true that you MUST stand up for yourself as a patient. Within hours after my surgery I did not feel right at all being in the medical field I knew something was wrong. The nurses tried to force me to walk after surgery, but I did not feel right. I refused. The next morning they tried to force me again. I refused. The afternoon 3 nurse and the coordinator came to my room to force me to walk so they could release me. I told them something was wrong and they insisted I walk to the bathroom. After sitting me on the side of the bed as soon as my feet touch the floor I passed out cold. My husband thought I was gone. The nurses hit the call button and when I came to I was surrounded by nurses, Dr's and staff with a crash cart by my bed. After test the Dr realized I had lost almost all of my blood during surgery due to a nicked spleen. I had to received a complete blood transfusion and remained in the hospital for a week. So stick to your guns, only YOU, know YOUR BODY!

Edited December 6, 2013 by need2bthin!