I Lived Through This Surgery, My Sister Didn't.

[Essence33 90]

Hi Everyone,

I wanted to jump on here and share with you all the last six months for our family. My name is Lyndsey. I am a 28 year old mother of two, and married to my prince charming. For me, weight has been a struggle my entire life. I remember vividly being told at just 5 years old by a doctor that I was "obese" and from that point forward my journey really began. I had a pretty normal life, but fought weigth my whole life. I met my wonderful husband at work after loosing 60 pounds all on my own. Needless to say, marriage and getting comfortable- well, and having two children gave me all of that, plus more back. Before the surgery I was 255 with a BMI of 41.9. I had my surgery (VSG) May 8th, 2013 and just over 6 months later I am weighing in at 159.5. Since surgery I have had it pretty easy. I healed well, but did get pancreatitis right after the surgery and had to be hospitalized again for a few days. They were never sure if it was related to the surgery or not. Since the surgery I have tried really hard to make healthy choices with food, but to be completely honest I am a mom, and occasionally we do still eat McDonalds! (gasp!) I do not count calories, carbs, or anything for that matter. My doctor never told me I needed to. I DO drink diet coke... (terrible, I know!) I live a normal life now. I go out with my family, friends, and I am not constantly on some fad diet that wont work. I eat what my family eats, but I do try to focus on eating the Protein first, and follow that with the veggies, then the yummy sides if there is room (which there almost never is!). My goal is to be somewhere in the 130's. I really dont care if its 139.9 but I want to be in the 130's. I hope to reach that goal by the one year anniversary of my surgery.

I would also like to tell you about my big sister, my only sibling. Sherrie was a 34 year old mother of three, and also married to her high school sweetheart. They have been married almost 17 years. Sherrie had her surgery April 24th (2 weeks before me) and there were complications following the surgery. We didn't see it as much at first, or I probably wouldn't have gone through with it myself. But as I healed and started getting back to normal, my sister got sicker and sicker. Her stomach had a stricture at the top. The surgon put in a stent to try to expand it. They stent bacame embedded into her stomach wall and they had to dig it out. After that, the middle of her stomach healed closed so tightly that she couldn't eat or drink anything and keep it down. She had eaten almost nothing for 6 months. She was in and out of the hospital, and the surgon made it very difficult for her to get anyone to help her. Finally when they found the problem we were able to schedule her with a new surgon to hopefully get the problem fixed. She was hospitalized twice in October for dehydration and malnutrition. The second time they put in a PIC line, and bagan IV nutrition (TPN). She was finally feeling better. They sent her home with the PIC line and instructions on how to give herself the IV nutrition and we were told to continue this until her appointment with the new surgon. She came home from the hospital Monday afternoon. Tuesday I talked to her, and she sounded better than she had in months. She was optimistic that we could get her better and even shared with me that before they started the IV nutrition she was scared she was going to die, but now she felt like she has a chance. Wednesday morning (October 30th, 2013) we got the call that broke our family. My beautiful big sister had died at home, alone in her bed. She had asked her husband to not sleep in their bed as she was scared he would pull out her PIC line, so he was in another room. He came into their room that morning to check on her and get ready for work and found her. It was just too late. She had been gone for several hours. We were in shock. We had just got a glimpse of hope with the IV nutrition, and in the blink of an eye, she was gone. I went to the funeral home to dress my big sister, do her hair, do her makeup, and spend some time with her before we had to say goodbye. We burried her the following Monday. A huge piece of my heart is missing now. I want to share her story too because there are so many who have all these wonderful stories, but she doesn't have a voice anymore to share hers. People need to know that you CAN die from this surgery. When I had the surgery I honestly felt like the only people that die from this were the "huge" ones... and thats just not true. My sister was my size. she wasn't some crazy 500 or 800 pound person. She was in a size 18 pants JUST like I was. She died. It can happen. It does happen. I did happen to us. I am not trying to scare anyone, but I want to be her voice too. Do you research, make sure this is the right choice for you and your family. We are left now with three children that now have no mother, and my amazing brother in law (who loved my sister more than I've ever seen anyone love someone) is widowed. His heart is broken, and so is ours. A vital part of our family is missing. Below is a picture of my big sister before the surgery. She was beautiful.

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I hope you and your family are doing well. My condolence again. I read your story over and over, so hurt by what has happened. I'm proud of you to have the courage and send your story. My heart goes out once again. May her soul rest in peace, and may your family get answers.

[ReDbEaN 654]

May God be with you and your family during this terrible loss. I am so sorry. Thank you for being her voice and sharing her story.

[devonn 12]

I am sorry for your loss. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family.

[clwhughes 0]

I had my surgery September 16, 2013. I had lost 72 pounds before the surgery (over a 6 month period). My doctor was so pleased with how I looked internally he wanted to take pictures. After the surgery I started going downhill fast. My heart rate went up and my husband said I was having a lot of pain. He got the nurses to put me in SICU to be monitored closely (we are both paramedics). I was bleeding internally from what was most likely a nicked spleen. I lost 3/4 of my blood volume and had to be transfused with 5 units of blood. At one point my blood pressure was 50/0 and my heart rate was 34 (decompensated shock). My husband saved my life, I don't know at what point the nurses would have noticed I was in trouble, and as it was, it was nearly too late. I did not have to have surgery to repair it (they said I would have only a 30% chance of surviving surgery). I am fine now and back at work, down 103 pounds. My surgeon told me he had done the procedure over 400 times with no problems. It is not something to be taken lightly, you can die. I took the risk because I can lose the weight but I gain it back with more, and I know that would eventually kill me. I had no other health problems at all, but I almost died.

[LyndseyD 106]

Not all doctors do the swallow test, but its standard procedure for our doctor. Thank you all for understanding about me not disclosing who our hospitals were... we're waiting for the report from the medical examiner (yes there was an autopsy, but let me just say I HATE that word... sounds so cold...) but we live in a big city and chances are it will be several months before we know anything. The waiting is miserable.

[fionafire 5]

Thank you for sharing your story along with your sisters. Surgeries definately can have life and death outcomes. Death is truly one of the hardest things to face when it comes to a loved one. My sons and I buried their father 3 years ago in October with heavy hearts. Since that time we have continued on. I ask the question what would your sister want you to do with your life?

I know I talked to my sons and told them if it was me that had gone I would want them to lived their lives to maximum potential and to know that they are loved. Sometimes we pay a heavy price to be at our maximum potential and the sharing of your story gives people the insights required to make such a profound decision. Thank you for sharing your story.

My sister and i just finished the gastric sleeve proceedures and we researched doctors and we actually went to see a doctor that had done over 15,000 surgeries, was in the media with Oprah, featured in many news. We actually went to Tijuana to see Dr. Ortiz at the Obesity Control Centre.

Sorry for your loss and for sharing your stories. I believe that the spirit lives on and I am sure your sister is embedded in you and that she will help you to navigate your life living your life to your potential.

Take care and GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

I am so sorry for your loss.....On here you do hear the wonderful success stories of WLS and it is rare to hear of someone barely surviving it or even passing away due to circumstances of this surgery...But it does happen and I feel like others that the story needs to be told...That all should know what can and may happen..And make sure that you are willing to allow the worst possible scenario if you decide to do this...It is a life changing situation....

Your sister was lovely...my heart goes out to her husband and children and all your family and friends.....

[rocker-kittie56 13]

That is so horrible...and you are right everyone needs to know you can die. They should sit down with their surgeon and ask what are ALL the possible complications. Then they should ask themselves if getting the surgery is worth it. You only live once, and if your quality of life is so low you feel like you should be dead anyway...and the surgery gives you a glimmer of hope then you should take it, even if you may die. At least then you died trying to get your life back.

[rocker-kittie56 13]

Sorry if I offend anyone. I was just speaking my mind.

[Amanda Nicole Hosaflook 65]

A guy that I did my 6 month medically supervised diet with just died. He had his surgery Oct 28th Still waiting on cause of death but I doubt I will ever know. I'm so scared but I've come too far to stop.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

When I had my consult with my surgeon he asked me several times what would be the worst thing that could happen to me...I did not answer him at first but he insisted that I did...Finally I said okay, I might die...He said yes that is the true answer...nothing is 100% in this life and it happens...I just want you to know the true risks of what you are doing...

I walked away thinking big deal..That won't happen to me...Then it almost did...1 year ago I was still in a coma at this time..I almost died. They told my husband that they did not know if I would survive...

Looking back at my choice I felt I was not living then and if the worst thing happened what was the difference..I felt like the walking dead...It does not make the situation better knowing you have that risk....But at least I was informed and went through with it....Others a small number have died for this......Everything in life is a risk we take!! It makes everyone feel devastated when it happens to one of our fellow sleevers....I know I just feel awful for this beautiful lady and her family and friends.......

[LyndseyD 106]

To those that are saying "if you have no quality of life, its worth the risk" I beg of you to think of your families that you could leave behind. My sister was in so much pain from her knees and the doctors told her that they wouldn't help her unless she lost weight, but because of her pain she really couldn't loose it on her own. So, she had the surgery. I think if she knew she was going to die she would have rather lived in that much pain just to have the chance to watch her kids grow up... I know she would have.

Think of what you could leave behind... make sure THATS worth the risk....

Honestly, as susccessful as I have been, I do wish I hadn't done it. It WASN"T worth the risk. I thank God everyday that I am safe and healthy, but I live everyday with the guilt that she needed the surgery to live comfortable, and died.

[Beach Lover 1,084]

Lyndsey,

I am just now reading this thread and I want to say how sorry I am for your families loss. This is a terrific blow to your family and especially her husband and children. She is very fortunate to have such a wonderful sister who is speaking out for her. If it were me I too would want you to speak out and sound the alarm for the good and bad of this surgery. Please do not feel guilty because you are here and she isn't. I don't think she would want you to feel this way. My guess is you are going to be there to help pick up the pieces and help her husband with the care for their beautiful children. Who else would she want to do that? Your being healthy and strong is going to be needed and you should not take away your accomplishment in this for the horrible tragedy of her loss. I wouldn't want you to feel this way and I am sure she wouldn't either. Go forward speak for her and don't beat yourself up! God Bless you and your family as you deal with the loss of a beautiful person.

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

There's really not anything more I can say that others haven't said already. It makes me sad to hear that someone died after having surgery and looking at the trauma you and your sister's family are going through.......especially with the holidays here. Please take one day at a time and thank you for being your sister's advocate and voice.......she was beautiful.....

[Amanda Nicole Hosaflook 65]

Although I am very sorry for your loss, this is a rare and unusual case. I've never heard of anyone dying at my bariactric center. I know it can happen but don't be scared to have your surgery. Be excited for your new birthday! Look forward to all the great things ahead. Stress will only hinder your healing process. I hate seeing stories like this. Sounds like malpractice on the doctors side or somebody wasn't doing what they were supposed to.