What Do You Tell People?

[farmgirl04 231]

Hey everyone, when you had your surgery what did you tell people? I've told my family what's happening but I am very hesitant to be truthful at work. I think there will be a lot of negative judgements and resentment aimed towards me, especially given the fact that I'll be out of work, then restricted, for a significant amount of time. Right now I've told them I'm having 'female' work done, being as vague as possible. I know administration frowns on having elective surgery done during the school year, but obviously you take it when you get it. Any thoughts? Suggestions?

[JellyBean2012 23]

I only told like 3 coworkers before surgery since they are friends outside of work. Now that I'm 6 weeks out I share it with anyone if it comes up. You shouldn't allow there ideas to stress you this is the best decision you could make for yourself in my opinion. It was for me!

[Bama53 214]

I'm like JB, the family knows, and I told a couple of coworkers and then my boss of course. If anyone else asks, I'll tell them. Everyone seems to be happy for me, but most importantly is I did this for Me! But I know how some people can be. Hopefully you will only be out a few days, as I had mine on Thursday and was back at work that Tuesday. You are taking a positive leap forward for a better you, physically and mentally. Keep your chin up and remember, this is for YOU, and the one's who don't like it..... well, that is Their problem, not yours

[mem563 0]

I told everyone I was going for abdominal surgery and based on their relationship to me if they asked for further details I was more specific with my answer "fat" surgery. People are funny and almost anything can come out of their mouths. If they tried telling me a horror story from a friend or family member, I instantly replied sorry I don't need to hear your negativity! I also said a big thank you to the people who understood and were supportive of my decision. Those are the people who will surround me with positivity through my journey to be healthy.

[Kyilejackson 24]

I do not think it is necessary to explain to anybody what you have been up to if your family is aware of it.I know how people can behave at times,but please do not get worked over it.You can inform a few of your close co-workers and later answer people as and when they ask you about it. Try and keep yourself free of all tensions so that you remain in a positive frame of mind through your recovery days.

[Bandista 7,466]

This was a big issue for me. I'm a private person and don't want to have it out there for whatever reason. Maybe I feel like I have been judged so much for being heavy and I don't want the judgement about how I am losing the weight. Or the monitoring. So I only told a handful of people and there are a couple I wish I hadn't included just as I'm not sure they can keep my secret.

One big thing for me was my parents. They are elderly and live in a retirement facility the next town over. We see quite a bit of them or at least have a phone call each day. My mother has handed me every diet book for the last twenty+ years and I knew it wouldn't be good for me to have her involved in any way. She'd be anxious, for one thing, and then she'd want a lot of details, constant updates, etc. She is very obsessive and has never been happy with how I look. I'm adopted -- tall and larger than all the women in her family who are quite petite but "watch their weight" all the time. So I fussed over how to do this under the radar. It turned out I had a hernia, which they found when there. So my husband called that night and told my parents I had to have a hiatal hernia fixed. It is true, so I don't feel weird about it. A sin of omission.

Then he went and out on FB that I had a hernia. I honestly wanted to kill him. FB? I flipped put. His rationale was that people would know I had been in the hospital and he needed to be able to say something. I'm an introvert, he's an extrovert. Well it worked out fine. The friends and neighbors who I didn't want in my inner circle now know I had surgery but not the LB part. In the future at dinner parties and so forth I will be having very little food. When asked about that or how I've dropped so much weight, I will say that ever since the hernia I can only have very small meals. That should quell further probing.

No one needs to know why you have medical leave. You have the right to complete privacy. And you've earned the time off -- don't worry about that! Just be sure to take enough. It sounds like you may work for a school system. Don't go back too soon and then feel emotionally or physically drained later. This is a gift to yourself, the gift of health, and you want to start off this new chapter in your life with the right priorities. You are the priority! Get the slip from your doctor, take two weeks off and no one needs to know why. Surgery is surgery. You are not required to give details. You can use that time to walk like crazy every day and be really healthy when you go back! Good luck to you -- keep us posted!

[FLORIDAYS 3,040]

Hey everyone, when you had your surgery what did you tell people? I've told my family what's happening."..........Any thoughts? Suggestions?

are you talking about what to tell people about band surgery or your Tummy Tuck or other reconstructive surgery? Either way it's no ones business what type of procedure it is. As long as you have the time off from work you just tell people you are taking some time off for a medical procedure. That's it. That what I did and no one questioned it other than yo say stuff like " I hope everything goes ok..." Or is it "serious "? To which I replied "I prefer not to get into it at this time. Thanks for understanding." No one pushed the issue. I didn't let them.

[farmgirl04 231]

I'm talking about the Tummy Tuck surgery. I told only a few friends about the band surgery for two reasons, it was done in the summer and didn't affect work at all, and second and most important, they can be so judgmental! As is, one of my inner circle commented that when she lost weight it was the 'real' way. Sigh. I'm just trying to figure out if this (tummy tuck surgery) is something I want to share or if I'm just opening myself up to negative scrutiny again. As of now I'm only saying that I'm having a bladder lift, which I am, but now someone else had that done and was back to work in 3 days. I feel like my lie is just going to start ballooning. Then again, I may be stressing over nothing. Gossip for a few days until newer, better gossip comes around! All that said, I am so flipping excited for the surgery! Blood work done this morning, then only two weeks Monday till the big day!

[bbbanded 70]

I told people I had just cut out all fast food and started eating primarily Protein and greens, drinking tons of Water and exercising 3-4 days a week for an hour and change, which is all true, there's just a bit of extra help . But as I've reached almost -120 lbs that explanation isn't working on everyone so much anymore.

[FLORIDAYS 3,040]

I'm talking about the Tummy Tuck surgery. I told only a few friends about the band surgery for two reasons, it was done in the summer and didn't affect work at all, and second and most important, they can be so judgmental! As is, one of my inner circle commented that when she lost weight it was the 'real' way. Sigh. I'm just trying to figure out if this (tummy tuck surgery) is something I want to share or if I'm just opening myself up to negative scrutiny again. As of now I'm only saying that I'm having a bladder lift, which I am, but now someone else had that done and was back to work in 3 days. I feel like my lie is just going to start ballooning. Then again, I may be stressing over nothing. Gossip for a few days until newer, better gossip comes around! All that said, I am so flipping excited for the surgery! Blood work done this morning, then only two weeks Monday till the big day!

I didn't tell any one except a close friend at my office about my tt or breast lift. It's none of their business. I did tell some of my personal friends after the surgery who have been my biggest cheerleaders! Everyone was very supportive. For those who have issues with it I couldn't care less. They don't pay my bills. It's really a non issue for me.

[LEXUS86985 21]

I really didn't tell anyone until I actually scheduled the surgery. Everyone has been very supportive!! If there is anyone negative in your life they are jelous!!! Yes we lost weight but this is NOT cosmetic surgery!!! It's reconstructive!! I still had a lot of fat along with the skin... Huge panniculous!! So it's obvious that I had something done even with all the swelling.

My doc and I have planned three separate procedures.... I could do without the "Barbie" comments but F- them!!! I do what I see fit!! :-)

[Coach0407 50]

This was a big issue for me. I'm a private person and don't want to have it out there for whatever reason. Maybe I feel like I have been judged so much for being heavy and I don't want the judgement about how I am losing the weight. Or the monitoring. So I only told a handful of people and there are a couple I wish I hadn't included just as I'm not sure they can keep my secret.

One big thing for me was my parents. They are elderly and live in a retirement facility the next town over. We see quite a bit of them or at least have a phone call each day. My mother has handed me every diet book for the last twenty+ years and I knew it wouldn't be good for me to have her involved in any way. She'd be anxious, for one thing, and then she'd want a lot of details, constant updates, etc. She is very obsessive and has never been happy with how I look. I'm adopted -- tall and larger than all the women in her family who are quite petite but "watch their weight" all the time. So I fussed over how to do this under the radar. It turned out I had a hernia, which they found when there. So my husband called that night and told my parents I had to have a hiatal hernia fixed. It is true, so I don't feel weird about it. A sin of omission.

Then he went and out on FB that I had a hernia. I honestly wanted to kill him. FB? I flipped put. His rationale was that people would know I had been in the hospital and he needed to be able to say something. I'm an introvert, he's an extrovert. Well it worked out fine. The friends and neighbors who I didn't want in my inner circle now know I had surgery but not the LB part. In the future at dinner parties and so forth I will be having very little food. When asked about that or how I've dropped so much weight, I will say that ever since the hernia I can only have very small meals. That should quell further probing.

No one needs to know why you have medical leave. You have the right to complete privacy. And you've earned the time off -- don't worry about that! Just be sure to take enough. It sounds like you may work for a school system. Don't go back too soon and then feel emotionally or physically drained later. This is a gift to yourself, the gift of health, and you want to start off this new chapter in your life with the right priorities. You are the priority! Get the slip from your doctor, take two weeks off and no one needs to know why. Surgery is surgery. You are not required to give details. You can use that time to walk like crazy every day and be really healthy when you go back! Good luck to you -- keep us posted!

I also told NO coworkers as they will repeat it. I told my boss of course due to time off. My mother, two friends, husband, and cousin know. I do not plan on telling anyone else as I don't want to explain over and over.

My friend was banded 2 yrs ago. At first was ok. She now has a hernia and from her issues is really against me having it. She is NOT supportive at all.

Some view it as you're weak, disagree, or have someone who is against it.

[skiddles 66]

Hey everyone, when you had your surgery what did you tell people? I've told my family what's happening but I am very hesitant to be truthful at work. I think there will be a lot of negative judgements and resentment aimed towards me, especially given the fact that I'll be out of work, then restricted, for a significant amount of time. Right now I've told them I'm having 'female' work done, being as vague as possible. I know administration frowns on having elective surgery done during the school year, but obviously you take it when you get it. Any thoughts? Suggestions?

So what did you tell co workers? I need to think of something. Not saying anything won't go (I work at Wal*Mart need I say more) lol.The best thing I could think of wasI thought of saying I had a "mass" removed.

[Schmincke 118]

There are various bladder life procedures, of different invasiveness, and some are quite involved. You are telling the truth if you tell your colleagues that you had a bladder lift. The difference between you and the other colleague is that **for you, it is not going to be a simple laparoscopic surgery** as it undoubtedly was for her. Non-laparoscopic abdominal surgeries typically have a 6-8 week recovery time. The reason for the additional recovery time is not their affair.

If any one asks the difference, you could say that in your case they had to cut your abdomen, it was not simply laparoscopic. Or you could say that the surgery was unusually complex. Both are true, yes? And really, it's nobody's business but yours.

Good luck to you!

[Coach0407 50]

I'm one month out, next appt 1/22, and I've lost a total 28 lbs. As soon as I returned to work, at that time, co-workers started to notice. So far, I've only told my boss and one co-worker who promised not to repeat it. However, that co-worker told me last week if no one knows. I reaffirmed, only my boss. She made a comment relating to being surprised my/our boss may have told a supervisor (and she told two others). She didn't say it directly but.... Since she's new, I think she also discovered my boss did not keep my confidential conversation between her and I. (When I told her I was having surgery and take PTO, she asked if the co-workers knew, I told her no and I wasn't planning on telling anyone!!). There are no co-workers I'd tell this or any other personal business to so I wasn't telling them this.