One Year Later...

[mysunflower621 69]

Hi Everyone!

It's been a while since I posted but today is my 1 year anniversary of my surgery! It's so hard to believe that a year has gone by already but wow what a year it has been! I can honestly say this has been the best decision I've ever made for myself in my entire life. I have absolutely no regrets. This morning I woke up and just went wow, what a difference a year can make! I can honestly say it's been a year of transformation, a year of learning and discovery and a year of reflection.

One year ago today, I weight in at 219.5 lbs at just about 5'2 (if I stretch!) and I was wearing a size 18 pant and a 1x or 2x in tops and sweaters. I hated absolutely everything about myself, I felt there were no good redeeming qualities about me at all. When I would have to get dressed each morning, I'd agonize over what to wear, staring in the closet aimlessly, knowing nothing I put on would look good. I would change my outfit at least a dozen times if we were going out or had company coming over because to me, nothing ever looked right and I didn't want people to talk. I was taking blood pressure medications, asthma medications and high cholesterol medications at the time of my surgery. I was embarrassed for my family to have to be seen with me, I apologized to my husband all the time because he had to admit and tell people I was his wife. To his credit, he has always loved me just the way I am and there was never a day that went by that he did not tell me I was beautiful and how much he loved me... I just never believed him.... I couldn't, this was not loveable.. I was disgusting in my eyes, I was not worthy of being loved and definitely not beautiful!

Today.. one year later, I am happy to say that I am now a new person, mentally and physically. I now 142 lbs only 9 pounds away from goal, I have lost 77 lbs and I am wearing a size 4 in pants and a small or medium in shirts or sweaters. I can fit in my 13 yr old daughter's clothes!!! I am not embarassed to be seen anymore and I don't apologize to my husband for having to be seen with me either. I have had so many compliments about how I look and how much I lost that I have actually learned to say "thank you", which has taken me a whole year for me to beleive that I could say Thank you and not insult myself in the process. I feel great and I'm so happy with where I am today. I am off of the blood pressure medications and most of the asthma meds. We are working on the cholesterol as well (hereditary) but my numbers are improving! I am also thankful to have made a great friend that I met through this forum and we helped each other through this journey together, supporting each other the entire time. I have a close friend who is scheduled to have surgery next month and I have supported 2 co-workers as they went through their surgery as well!

I am learning to say I CAN instead of I Can't, Thank you instead of insulting myself to others and have started to believe that Yes, I am worth being loved as I am a good person inside and out. It's been such an amazing journey that isn't over yet and will continue for the rest of my olife, but gosh, looking back today and thinking of standing on that scale a year ago to now, it just blows my mind. I do not miss the foods I personally have chosen to give up forever and I have found other options and choices that work for me. When I think back to what I would have said to myself a year ago, I probably would have said, hold on, you are in for the transformation of your life, it will be hard at times but so worth it in the end!

I have so much to be thankful for as we approach the holidays this year but most of all I'm thankful for the unconditional love and support I've had from my family and friends. I'm also thankful for the opportunties I was given to have this life changing and probably saving surgery and for all of you on this forum who have helped and guided me along the way with your encouragement, support and answers to my millions of questions! For those of you considering or about to have surgery I wish you all the best for this is truly a life changing experience and one I will never regret.

Karen

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

That is wonderful for you Karen..Thank you for sharing!!!!!!!!!!

[SassyTink 78]

Just what I needed to read tonight. I am having my surgery on the 22 November and getting really anxious. Your post reminded me of why I spent almost all of 2013 preparing for this.

[caroline2 89]

Fantastic! Congratulations. Thanks so much for sharing.

[artymama 170]

CONGRATULATIONS! You have done a great job! Just remember weight loss or not, you are a good person worthy of love from others and yourself.

[sissy13 138]

Great job. I am 4 days post op and feeling pretty good today. 1st day I have felt hungry today.