What People Will Say Now They Wouldn't Say Before

[thedivinemsQ 89]

So lately there have been many family functions to deal with and many people are seeing me for the fist time since surgery. Often now, I am hearing from people, family and clients "you look great, but don't lose anymore weight", or some variation for this. I find it interesting since most people would never think to say, "don't gain anymore weight" or "don't get any fatter", although I know there are exceptions to that rule too. Anyone else experience this, what do you say to them?

[NtvTxn 1,262]

So lately there have been many family functions to deal with and many people are seeing me for the fist time since surgery. Often now, I am hearing from people, family and clients "you look great, but don't lose anymore weight", or some variation for this. I find it interesting since most people would never think to say, "don't gain anymore weight" or "don't get any fatter", although I know there are exceptions to that rule too. Anyone else experience this, what do you say to them?

Yes i did go through this....my daughters and husband were all freaking out - people don't know what to say, and if they're use to seeing you big, then to you, you're pencil thin. In my case, I WAS and did not see it until I needed to gain a little back. Say "thank you, I'm almost there" or "I'm finished" unless of course you want to talk about it.

[Jenny12 361]

Oh I hate it when I hear this!!!! I just want to kick them! I just say "yep, I'm happy where I'm at" and leave it at that, whether it's the truth or not.

[Butterthebean 8,146]

We just have to cut some people some slack. Often times these people have never known us as anything but obese. Suddenly we're shrinking right before their eyes. They don't know what to say....they only know we no longer fit their mental image of us. Eventually their mental image of us will readjust to our new selves....but it will be slow to happen.

It's certainly better than them seeing us gain weight.

[Fluffnomore 1,235]

I know it's wrong, but based on whoever started this earlier I think my default answer to anyone whose comments annoy me will be "Kiss my ass!"

I am looking forward to this particular issue though I'm sure it will annoy me when it happens.

[clk 3,519]

Honestly, I can see both sides of this. People have no business, sure. But as a fat girl, didn't I think I had the right to tell my skinny friend that had put on ten pounds that she didn't need to lose any weight? And now I AM that skinny girl that wants to lose ten more pounds.

Weight is one of those things where people don't obey boundaries really well. Unless the person is being deliberately cruel or unless a pointed remark will let them know they upset you and keep them from doing it again, there's no real need to get yourself worked up over it.

Two things go into this. One, we don't see skinny people in the mirror even when we're skinny. And two, they do. Every change is magnified to them, especially if you were round and shiny faced the last time you saw this particular group of people!

Try to remember they think it's a compliment. They're telling you that you look fabulous and that you don't have to lose more weight to look great.

~Cheri

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I'm still a fattie so I've not encountered this yet, but I'm looking forward to it!

[amytug 996]

I've just started getting these compliments. My moms was the best- "you're starting to get malnourished, I'm worried about you. ". Uh? o_0. I can pinch waaaay more than an inch.

I secretly like the "you're too skinny" comments. ????

[amytug 996]

My favorite was my mom: "you're starting to look malnourished." No! I'm 5'3" with hips and belly in a size 6. NOT malnourished. Weird.

I secretly like the "you're getting too skinny" comments. I've NEVER heard those in my life!! His was from the same person who, a few year ago, said "gosh, Amy really IS getting heavy, huh?"

Hehe. I love It!

[clk 3,519]

My favorite was my mom: "you're starting to look malnourished." No! I'm 5'3" with hips and belly in a size 6. NOT malnourished. Weird.

I secretly like the "you're getting too skinny" comments. I've NEVER heard those in my life!! His was from the same person who, a few year ago, said "gosh, Amy really IS getting heavy, huh?"

Hehe. I love It!

Holy crap, Amy, you look great - haven't seen you around since you were newly sleeved!

~Cheri

[thedivinemsQ 89]

My favorite was my mom: "you're starting to look malnourished." No! I'm 5'3" with hips and belly in a size 6. NOT malnourished. Weird.

I secretly like the "you're getting too skinny" comments. I've NEVER heard those in my life!! His was from the same person who, a few year ago, said "gosh, Amy really IS getting heavy, huh?"

Hehe. I love It!

My mom told me "not to lose anymore weight" a while back. My response to her was "that's so funny because I only weigh 5 lbs less than when you took me to an obesity Doc back when I was 17 years old"...true story

[Indigo1991 1,612]

Lipstick - fattie????? Er, no I don't think so, based on recent photo.... :-)))

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Lipstick - fattie????? Er, no I don't think so, based on recent photo.... :-)))

You're very sweet. Now go put your glasses on. I'm getting there, though!