Hysterical

sweeTHEArt · March 10, 2007

I just wanted to check in with everyone and see if they went through what I am going through today. I had my pre-op appointment with my doctor this afternoon and I also went to a visit with the bariatric psychologist who did my psych eval. I burst out hysterically crying at both appointments. I am excited but honestly mostly I am depressed and feeling like I am mourning the loss of my old life and what I will be giving up instead of what I will be gaining. The emotions come over me like waves. Though I have moments of excitement and anticipation mostly I just want to keep crying. Surely this can't be normal...

Kat817 · March 10, 2007

Perhaps you were a little more emotional than most, but it is a serious step. One most of us are ashamed at some level, that we let ourselves get to. And one, like you say that is hard to leave behind. It didn't matter if it was happy news, or sad news, food was always there to share the burden. We grew up celebrating with food, and mourning with food---it is a very close and personal friend. It is hard to imagine eating less and being satisfied and happy with that. So the mourning is natural, as is anger at the situation sometimes.

However---eating less, and being satisfied, and happy with it is VERY possible! I like you just simply could not wrap my mind around that. I thought it would be a constant battle---but one I felt I had to try---I was out of options, I was sick of and sick from dieting!

It is such a different life being banded than I imagined it to be! The first weeks were tough, I won't lie to you. But hell I lived through many weeks of tough diets! I knew I could do it at least one more time, and that was the last time!!! It does take some work to get to the point that food is not an issue anymore. I eat for the flavor, and the nourishment, but not the hunger now. It is no longer the driving force behind decisions. I don't decide what to order when I go out, wondering if it will be enough---whatever I order it will be more than enough. I order what sounds good, and will be good for me, and I enjoy it! I don't feel like every eye in the restaurant is on me and my plate anymore. I don't skimp at the restaurant, and come home and gorge.

The things you will be gaining vastly outnumber the things you will be losing. Yes for a period of weeks you will not be able to have most types of food---but after the healing phase, you will be able to eat most of the food you do now. Some people have particular items they cannot eat, but just a few. You will be friends with the food you eat, because you are going to enjoy the few bites it takes for you to be satisfied. It is not a love/hate relationship anymore. You can love it, and there is no need to hate it for the way it makes you act anymore!

Try to calm down---and imagine yourself eating like you see others eat. Imagine yourself losing weight, almost effortlessly! Yes you do have to watch what you eat to help with the weight loss, but that is so easy to do when you are not hungry 24/7! Imagine walking into any store and buying clothing, no plus sizes necessary. Imagine walking into a gym, and no one staring at you! Imagine living to be a ripe old age---something obesity will not let us do.

The things you lose are mostly temporary, and you are getting more than a band---you are getting your life back!!!

Hope your nerves settle down soon.... (hugs)

Kat

maziemommy · March 10, 2007

Kat---- That was beautiful, and inspiring.

sweeTHEArt ---- I too have some anxiety, and cried at my psy.eval. It does happen. You are not alone. And from this pre-op perspective it is hard to believe life with band can be good and not all sacrifice. Life and stomache will be full and satisfied. Faith!!!

Devana · March 10, 2007

Thea, Kat put things so beautifully that I can only say that I concur.

Hang in there, a whole new life awaits.

cindy11670 · March 10, 2007

Wow! Kat that was great made me feel even better about the choice I have made for myself. I will be banded on 3-15 and can't wait. But as for sweeTHEART and the way you are feeling, I have been feeling some what the same maybe not as strong, but I keep thinking about food and not being able to eat alot. I know what Kat said is so true and we will be so happy we did it. Good Luck