Gotta Get This Off My Chest

[SandyM 1,956]

Maybe I'm being over sensitive or whatever. I havent been on the board that long, but I've been getting the feeling lately that there are "veterans" on this board (I'm using this term loosely cuz I'm certainly not talking about everybody here) are looking down your noses at those they like to fondly refer to as newbys. Like most of us, I appreciate some good pointers and advice but sort of resent the attitude I see here alot about newbys (and I hate that term) need to be told how to feel or what they are feeling and basically how to get this thing right. There are those on this board, and to name a few, Carolinagirl and Mis73, whose opinion and advice I truly respect and are not among the ones I'm referring to here. There are others that just seem to be trying to impress others with how much they know about the banding process and their ability to lose weight. Newsflash!!! You're no better at it than any of us! After all, you too needed WLS to get your weight under control. Thats why we are here, all of us. I get it! You lost your weight in record time. You did great. Yea!!! I may or may not do everything the same way as you did. Ill try different things until I find what works for me. But, give us a break already. Guess some of us are still in the learning phase. I plan to always be in the learning phase cuz I have a problem with obesity and that may not ever be totally resolved. Like I said, that's why I'm here. I just want you guys to know, that those of you who offer nonjudgemental advice and options, I appreciate it. Those of you who just want to strut your stuff and impress the rest of us "newbys" with your awesome wealth of knowledge about lapbanding..............rants over. Just sayin.

[Guest Sleeved&NotLovinIt]

Hum...I'm a newbie (and don't mind the term) and I haven't run across anybody talking/acting like they are superior. I just love to hear everyone stories and like you, I appreciate the advise. I wish you much success, Sandy!

[SandyM 1,956]

Thanks Avis. Those I'm talking about know who they are.

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

Thanks for the kind words, btw

The only advice I can give you is that the type you describe exist on all forums, not just baritric forums. You could go to a forum for computer geeks and I guarantee you'll have oldbies trying pull a holier-than-thou on the newbies. I've seen it happen. Heck, I've even have it happen on a forum for Multiple Sclerosis patients. I actually had someone try to pretty much discredit me because I've "only" been diagnosed for 5 years. ONLY 5 years? LOL! My point is- it happens everywhere.

The other thing to keep in mind is that text is a horrible communication medium. Unlike the spoken word, there is no voice reflection or body language to give cues as to the speaker's tone. I could say to you "Oh don't be silly!" and you have no idea if I'm smiling playfully or rolling my eyes condescendingly. Because of this I've seen LOTS of major communication break downs on online forums.

Hang in there and know the majority of people here welcome the newcomers and respect your intelligence

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

Maybe I'm being over sensitive or whatever. I havent been on the board that long, but I've been getting the feeling lately that there are "veterans" on this board (I'm using this term loosely cuz I'm certainly not talking about everybody here) are looking down your noses at those they like to fondly refer to as newbys. Like most of us, I appreciate some good pointers and advice but sort of resent the attitude I see here alot about newbys (and I hate that term) need to be told how to feel or what they are feeling and basically how to get this thing right. There are those on this board, and to name a few, Carolinagirl and Mis73, whose opinion and advice I truly respect and are not among the ones I'm referring to here. There are others that just seem to be trying to impress others with how much they know about the banding process and their ability to lose weight. Newsflash!!! You're no better at it than any of us! After all, you too needed WLS to get your weight under control. Thats why we are here, all of us. I get it! You lost your weight in record time. You did great. Yea!!! I may or may not do everything the same way as you did. Ill try different things until I find what works for me. But, give us a break already. Guess some of us are still in the learning phase. I plan to always be in the learning phase cuz I have a problem with obesity and that may not ever be totally resolved. Like I said, that's why I'm here. I just want you guys to know, that those of you who offer nonjudgemental advice and options, I appreciate it. Those of you who just want to strut your stuff and impress the rest of us "newbys" with your awesome wealth of knowledge about lapbanding..............rants over. Just sayin.

well bless your heart for mentioning me....i am just trying to keep it as real as it is with my experiences and your kind words mean alot...i have had alot of people pm me and say i am mean etc and i guess it is because i treat them as i do myself..i call them on their BS...we know what to do...we either do or not do.....i have to do that every day...i try to get people to see that it can be done (without fills also as i have plication also)...me not having fills doesnt make me better, it only makes me try harder.......this from a super morbid obese fat woman who couldnt wipe her ass....to in a couple hours will be walking up and down the unc dean domes basketball court aisles without dying and not pushing people out my way with my ass with its own zip code.......its why i am passionate...and direct...been there/done that

listen to our dr's

use common sense

eat better foods, exercise........let the band work and see what happens

:wub:

sandy (((big ole hugs))))

[SandyM 1,956]

I do understand this. Guess some folks just have the need to feel like elitist. I still enjoy the forum though. I try to ignore the over excessive horn tooters.

[SandyM 1,956]

well bless your heart for mentioning me....i am just trying to keep it as real as it is with my experiences and your kind words mean alot...i have had alot of people pm me and say i am mean etc and i guess it is because i treat them as i do myself..i call them on their BS...we know what to do...we either do or not do.....i have to do that every day...i try to get people to see that it can be done (without fills also as i have plicatio also)......this from a super morbid obese fat woman who couldnt wipe her ass....to in a couple hours will be walking up and down the unc dean domes basketball court aisles without dying and not pushing people out my way with my ass with its own zip code.......its why i am passionate...and direct...been there/done that

listen to our dr's

use common sense

eat better foods, exercise........let the band work and see what happens

:wub:

sandy (((big ole hugs))))

Your girl have been a real inspiration to me with the no fills thing. I have 2.5 cc total in my band and don't think I'm going to do any more. I feel like the band as it is now, doesnt have me in the green zone but has given me some control. I'm not necessarily hungry but do have to mind my snacking and grazing. I do believe the plications is responsible for that. I'll see how it goes. I know there are no guarantees, but as its going now, I'm happy with it.

[Sharpie 3,306]

Sandy most of the people on here do not look at Newbie's any differently.. I am realtively new to the band.. less than a year.. but from the beginning of my journey and signing up for lapbandtalk, I found out who was the "real" experts and who thought they were. I like genuine people and there are quite a few on here.. If someone is tooting their own horn too much that is a sign of insecurity.. Feel pity for them and just ignore the posts... If they get too lengthy and post too much so called "research" I tune it out... CG and Missy can be counted on for good solid advice.. They always say check with your Dr. and I am happy to say that is what I always do... Stay tuned in and don't let a few bad apples spoil the bunch....

[terrydumont46 1,954]

i too am a newbie and i appreciate all the advice any members give me. i take some of it to the doctor for her take on it or i use it right than and there. that's what is so special about this site. all the experience we are getting for free is amazing. thanks to everyone.

[rmalikone 108]

I have been here only since June, and there may be some posters here that may rub you the wrong way, but like Missy stated - this isn't the best way to communicate nuance and feelings. You need a little tougher skin to be on any forum and as always you can take or leave any advice given. I myself think this is a very gentle forum.

People can look at your statement and take you to task for you pointing fingers. Remember what go's around comes around.

[B-52 7,113]

Can't please all the people all the time...as with anything in life, you will meet people of all shapes and colors....

Funny, I just read a thread about how and why some people cannot stand other people who are "happy" with their bands.....interesting therories....

I use the ignore feature...works for me...that way the people simply "Do Not Exist anymore" and thy "Know it all" attitudes cannot get under my skin....never see their posts or replies....

I'd rather hear people's first hand experiences, good and bad, positive and negative, as long as it is the truth and not what other people may "Think" should be the truth because they read an article, or saw a you-tube....rather I want to know how it effects the person...what have they found to work or not work for them.....

[Lady VS 1,147]

I do understand this. Guess some folks just have the need to feel like elitist. I still enjoy the forum though. I try to ignore the over excessive horn tooters.

Hi Sandy. I will be three yrs postop next month and I too have come across posters who think they know it all. You just have to choose what you want to reply to and keep it moving. Good luck on your journey.

[SandyM 1,956]

Thanks all. Like I said just getting it off my chest. Already flipped the page and moved on.

[zinhaa 363]

Sorry you feel insulted by the term. I know I use it at times. I use it as a term of endearment. I am also sorry there are veterans here who you feel insulted by, I think it is our duty to help you guys because it wasn't all that long ago that we were where you all are. In fact although i have been around a while that doesn't mean I can not learn something from some one who is at the beginning of their journey.

Good Luck with your journey.

On this site as all others I take every thing with a grain of salt and take what I need and leave the negativity behind.

Wendy

[Christina.Rose 287]

Totally agree, btw. I am a born again newbie and just eat this information up, as well as love the support and feeling that people exist that have similar problems as me. That being said, I can almost visualize the contempt and stink eye facial expressions that some of the "uppitys" have when they talk about newbies, like newbies are freshman in Highschool and they are seniors. Good job not being fat anymore.....can't wait to get there myself.....which I will.