Hubby and I am back and forth about getting a RNY, your Opinions?

[meyouus 415]

I'm seriously considering RNY. I've now had a band that is 5 years old, unfilled and useless. My BMI is 55. I'm in a bad place. My husband is reluctant to see me go through the "diets", "life changes", "surgery" again. He saw me through the band surgery and two separate surgeries for total knee replacements, He doesn't want me to have WLS again because it completely disrupts his/our order of things. He also saw me eventually give up on the South Beach diet that my surgeon puts his patient's on. Does he have a point as far as my food addiction goes? With the Band I was "sober", then I fell off the wagon. All that work and money down the drain. He's afraid I can't do the RNY diet, okay, point taken but I WANT the strictness of the RNY lifestyle. When I was "sober", I ate SO well, I studied everything I put in my mouth. But when my band was too full years ago, or not full enough, I grew angry at myself because the band never made me full. Just made me sick all the time. With the RNY, there's a strict, similar, diet to adhere to. I can do it, my hubby just doesn't think I can do it again. How can I convince him that this is the right path for me? He's all I have in this world. I've hit rock bottom, never been such a slave to my weight as I am now. I want to be a success, like you guys, no matter how hard the work may be.

[stephjoysm 16]

This is your struggle. I think the bypass would be a good tool for you. I got the bypass just a few months ago back in July. I know what you mean when you say food addiction. With the bypass though, if you try to eat a piece of cake, you won't regret it a year later when you've regained all the weight. You will regret that cake right that second. I believe the bypass has worked so well for me so far because it has a punishment that is so uncomfortable I'm scared to tempt its wrath. Suddenly that cake or cheeseburger or whatever it might be is not worth feeling so sick. It's hard at first. But once you adjust and experience what the RNY does for you, the diet part becomes second nature. Just the thought of a bite of cake makes me nauseous. Maybe that's what you need too. My mom got the lap band several years ago and has done great with it but she wishes that she had done the bypass instead because the band doesn't have a punishment for going off the diet so she is constantly losing and gaining the same 5-7 pounds because once in a while she folds to her cravings. Hope this helped.

[meyouus 415]

This is your struggle. I think the bypass would be a good tool for you. I got the bypass just a few months ago back in July. I know what you mean when you say food addiction. With the bypass though, if you try to eat a piece of cake, you won't regret it a year later when you've regained all the weight. You will regret that cake right that second. I believe the bypass has worked so well for me so far because it has a punishment that is so uncomfortable I'm scared to tempt its wrath. Suddenly that cake or cheeseburger or whatever it might be is not worth feeling so sick. It's hard at first. But once you adjust and experience what the RNY does for you, the diet part becomes second nature. Just the thought of a bite of cake makes me nauseous. Maybe that's what you need too. My mom got the lap band several years ago and has done great with it but she wishes that she had done the bypass instead because the band doesn't have a punishment for going off the diet so she is constantly losing and gaining the same 5-7 pounds because once in a while she folds to her cravings. Hope this helped.

Yes it has, Thankyou, Stephjoy! you helped make me feel a lot better. I could narrow down my fear, I think..After a year and a half of battling as well as it's successes, the Band became almost useless and I gave up on it and ate as I would pre-band. I didn't like the freedom of eating what I wanted. Sure, it's cool to have this and that, but I got banded to change my lifestyle and lose weight. It wasn't happening------------Getting sick from eating too much was real, in the beginning. I hear that RNY has the same effect. Basically the same principal. So why get the RNY? I am getting it because I weigh 340lbs at 5' x 5" and I want, more NEED to lose a lot of weight to live.-----------The hubby, and myself worry that the diet will fail as it did Banded. I have much more faith in myself than he does. He's sick of me being a patient (2 surgeries in one year) as I have many "mysterious floating pains" and I always hurt. All in All, it's extremely difficult to advocate for yourself when no one else does.

[stephjoysm 16]

I believe that your husband will support your choice to take a step towards a healthier lifestyle. I can understand his concern but the RNY, in my opinion, is the best tool you can have in your corner when you are battling weight loss. I feel like the RYN surgery has not only physically changed my eating habits by only allowing me to eat very small portions but I credit it with also mentally changing my eating habits. I make better choices when deciding what to put into my body. That's not to say I don't occasionally allow myself a taste of something I'm not allowed to have. But that's all, just a taste. I don't need to have sugar bomb deserts anymore. I don't need that late night calorie monster snack. The sick feeling is totally not worth the 5 seconds of eating that food.

I really think this is what you need. I believe having a consequence, especially after you've experienced said consequence, will really help you stop and think about what you are eating and also stop to decide what foods you want and what foods you actually need.

[music1618 879]

The band and bypass are two completely different surgeries. Search on this site for band to bypass and you will see hundreds of people in the same situation you are in.

When people ask me what surgery I got I explain to then there are three levels of the surgery.

1. Band

2. Sleeve

3 bypass

With the bypass you physically can not eat more than it will allow. The second part of your stomach is just gone. With the band you still have all of your stomach, and therefore can continue to eat.

I am 17 months post op. I have lost 125 and have maintained that weight loss. I can eat anything I want. I don't have restrictions on types of food for the most part, what I have is restrictions on quantity. I used to be able to eat a Big Mac supersize meal and two apple pies with a large soda. About two hours later I would be hungry again. Now I eat about half a happy meal and I am full for 6-7hours.

It is unrealistic to adhere to a strict diet the rest of your life and never give into "bad" foods. We are all human. This is a tool that will aid in the process of weight loss. It is only part of the equation. Food addiction is like any other addiction physical and mental. My biggest lesson through this past 17 months is that my brain is a powerful machine, but I am a stronger person than I thought I was. I began to look at food differently. I use it for fuel and the feeling I used to cover up with food I take out at the gym or on the soccer field. You just have to be in tune with your body and discover your triggers. When you discover one you need to replace food with something healthy. People say well if it is that easy why do you need the surgery. My answer the surgery allows me not to be so hungry all the time and allows me to focus on the good things. Now that the weight is gone I hardly sit still. I have energy and want to workout or be physical.

It is natural for hubby to be scared and I would suggest taking him to doc visit with you. Tell him to ask the hard questions to your doc. Main one being why will this work and the band did not.

[DLCoggin 1,788]

Great advice from music! I would only add to ask your doctor specifically about dumping. What to expect and what not to expect. Dumping can serve a purpose but there is no scientific evidence that folks who dump are any more or less successful than those who don't. RnY has an unparalleled record of success for many reasons but it is about much more than dumping. Many surgeons, and more all of the time, no longer perform banding. The complication rate is more than three times that of RnY and that number doesn't even include revisions to sleeve or RnY.

You're gonna love the new you!!

[oldoneyoungagain 200]

Had my first dumping episode a couple of nights ago. So now I know what the pouch can't tolerate. Dumping though is nothing new to me, had the issue long before bypass, and it seemed to have corrected itself after bypass, until I ate something or too much of something that I shouldn't have. I was just happy I was home when it happened . My biggest problem is food that the pouch doesn't like, then the elephant definitely is on the chest and until I bring it up I'm miserable, refried Beans was one and fish was the other. Moist meat goes down quite well and I haven't tried anything else as I don't like that feeling. This all is so different for me, which is a good thing, compared to the band which I never had an issue with until the doctor found it had slipped. Do I mind these issues, you bet I don't, I wish I would have had this procedure in 2010 and would have already reached my goal weight. But the research was just coming in about that time, and actually not too much. They always say though "hind sight is better than foresight". We just have to remember that this is only a tool and it can only be as successful if used correctly.

[meyouus 415]

You guys are so incredible with your giant hearts, degree's in communication and experience with compassion. I never know what to say to someone, but if the time comes, I hope I'm as helpful to the other person as you have been good to me.

[Dara Levy 8]

I know it's a tough decision. I had my first band placed in 2006. Did great with it then band slipped. Second band never worked. I developed band intolerance. I know have a fabulous dr at mass general in boston who says 50percent are unsucessful with the band through no fault of their own and suffer real psychological trauma from problems with the band. I am having it out December 6th. I can't wait. People hear that i'm having rny and ask if I'm afraid of having the same issues and failing. I say no because i did have success before theband slipped and I know ican be successful again. Only you canknow how successful you will be. Do what is in your heart. I know my husband and family are skeptical and worried forme but I know it will be great. Best wishes to you.

[bellabloom 2,467]

Do it. The band does not take away the grehlin and other hormones in your stomach that induce cravings and hunger. The bypass does. It's totally different.

Most surgeons don't even do bands anymore. They don't work for most people.

Bypass works. Period. You will live it. Your husband will like it once you are doing awesome and instead of eating and worrying about food all day you actually have energy and hopefully even sex life!!! Ha !

Gastric bypass takes away your desire for food!!! That's the best thing about it. You won't have to deal with consequences of eating cake BECUASE after a while you won't even want it.