this is so hard

[kebsa 1]

i have been banded for almost 6 yrs, part of that not only did nI not lose but I gained weght!! felt like an absolute falure. some of it was medcal issues that took a while to diagnose, a lot of it was emotional stuff, feelng like a failure so becomng a failure- self fulflling prophecy. I peaked at 385 pounds last november at least 100 pounds over my pre band weight.

I am wheelchair dependant, have MS, amputtee unable wear a prosthetic limb. I felt like such a falure, I was guaranteed to fail! For me, I had an mS flare n sept that paralysed my remainng leg. I could not even trasnfer from chair to wheelchar etc and i was too heavy for someone to lift me. I was lucky this time, i got enough use back in my leg to be able to transfer again, if not my independance was gone! that is a bg motivator to look again. To tink about how I used the band to fit my problem. the normal rules do not work for me. the ms has caused swallowng problems that meant I could manage foods like icecream etc easier than the solid Protein type foods we are meant concentrate on- so I was eating past the band.

I decided that t was going to take more effort than average, that I needed help from others to work out my own rules. that I was worth the extra effort and that I owed to me. the band dose help with emotional eating, simply by identifying what is emotional eating and what is real hunger. how you deal with the emotional eating is then up to you. no easy answer, I don't know any serioulsy long term obese ndvidual that can say they have not emotional eating issues to deal with. some are just ready to deal with those ssues. you can either carry on medcatng yourself with food and eventually make yourself physically ill ( or kill yourself) - sorry if this is tough but you are the only one person who can fix this.

Since my epiphany in november, I have lost over 73 pounds and still losing. I now have worked out how to use my band for my benefit. I measure everything I eat, I journal what i eat, I use peer support to keep me on track. I take body measurements and regular photos as well as weghing to track the changes and i am working on fnding other ways to handle the emotional stuff without food, food is not longer for anything other than nutrition, like medication is used to treat medcal problems, I would not take extra prescrption meds so why would I take more food than need. yes it is hard work but i am worth it and if I do not thnk I am worthit, I cannot expect others to care more about me than I care for myself.

i'm glad that you have maintained weight rather than gained it, but you are settlng for a lot less than you need to.

ask yourself honestly these questions-

when did you decide that it was okay to be obese/morbdly obese?

When did you decide that you were not worth the effort it will take to fix this?

when did you decide that you are willing to settle for less?

at the moment this is what you are doing to yourself, I don't know you, but I know you are worth more than this- we all are.

sorry if there are lots of typos in this message, I am having ms flare at present that is affectng my vison and co ordination. but this thread meant a lot to me.

[Monica S 1]

Karenb,You ask some good questions. I'm going to answer them.When did I decide it was okay to be obese? I don't remember ever deciding it was "okay", but because my mom and other family members are obese I also never thought it wasn't okay. I always thought that obese people (because I loved them) are still okay people, and are still worthwhile and loveable. I don't think I want to change my mind on this one.When did I decide I was not worth the effort? I guess a long time ago. Even before the band I was unable to value my body. Because I do like some parts of myself but don't like my body, I learned to view my body as something other than me, something outside of myself. I thought the band was going to force me to lose weight, and then I would begin to value my body again because it would be smaller and therefore more valuable. That didn't work. I hate my body so much, and it's hard to believe I'm worth more.When did I decide to settle for less? When I did not lose weight on the band despite efforts to eat right. (I have not been eating poorly the whole time, at first I stuck to the band diet but only lost a few pounds.) When it did not work as I expected it to, I stopped believing it could work. I don't have faith that it, or anything, can help me anymore. I don't believe I am able to eat differently. And even if I do, I don't believe I am capable of losing weight. I know intellectually that this is faulty thinking, but it seems impossible and makes me want to hide under the covers.So how did you make changes after your epiphany? Did you realize you are worth it and then it just happened for you? Any ideas about how I can force myself into a similar epiphany? I want one too, just don't know how to go about it and I feel so, so stuck.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

There are some relaxation cd's that you can order at OH through a lady named Sandy. They are supposed to be sort of like self hynosis that deals with emotional eating. She swears they were a big help to her. She has been down to goal for 3 years. I don't know if we aren't supposed to talk about other boards here, so I hope I am not doing anything wrong.

I know my therapist suggested self hypnosis to me, when I told her that I didn't know how the band was going to help me, because I would still be able to eat junk food when I am emotional.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

There are some relaxation cd's that you can order at OH through a lady named Sandy. They are supposed to be sort of like self hynosis that deals with emotional eating. She swears they were a big help to her. She has been down to goal for 3 years. I don't know if we aren't supposed to talk about other boards here, so I hope I am not doing anything wrong.

Ohhh, might want to check out this link before buying anything from Sandy.

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/dont-know-why-t32697.html

[Poodles 0]

I just bought a subliminal CD off of ebay to help with sugar cravings. It is meant for low carb dieters.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ULTRASONIC-SUBLIMINAL-LOW-CARB-DIET-Atkins-South-Beach_W0QQitemZ140103395146QQihZ004QQcategoryZ36456QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

They also have one for food addiction that I thought about, but want to see how this one goes first.

Will let you know if I start craving Water and not wanting sweets. (One can only hope.) :love:

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Poodles, do you mind telling me how expensive they are? I guess I can just click on your link and it will probably say. Well keep us posted when you get them and tell us how you like them. I try to eat low carb most of the time but it doesn't matter - if I am feeling emotional, I don't think of Protein. I think of chocolate!

[Monica S 1]

If anyone has success with CDs or relaxation or anything, please let us know about your experiences! I hate that so many of us are suffering with similar problems, but it does feel so comforting to know I'm not a total freak.

[Poodles 0]

Well Monica, I don't know if you are a total freak or not... but you are a normal carboholic. The cd was under 15 with shipping and all, so worth a shot.

I did "biofeedback" therepy before for back pain that seemed to work a little. You can actually slow your pulse rate and relax listening to soothing music. Skip the Metal/Rap Crap and go for Mozart, sit down, breath in your nose and out your mouth. Deep breaths, listen to the music, feel the beats/rhythm, breath... if you have to think about something think about the breaths you take. In/Out/In/Out... it works... kinda like doing Yoga.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

I just bought a subliminal CD off of ebay to help with sugar cravings. It is meant for low carb dieters.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ULTRASONIC-SUBLIMINAL-LOW-CARB-DIET-Atkins-South-Beach_W0QQitemZ140103395146QQihZ004QQcategoryZ36456QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

They also have one for food addiction that I thought about, but want to see how this one goes first.

Will let you know if I start craving Water and not wanting sweets. (One can only hope.) :love:

Poodles,

I went to that website, and they had some ocean waves in the background which I didn't find calming. The other one, which was supposed to be subliminal, I would guess you really can't hear anything? I could hear something about it being a sample, but I am curious what you can hear on the one you ordered? It would be strange to listen to something that's subliminal and have it sound as though it were blank or something.

[Monica S 1]

Thank you for the tip on relaxation. Does anyone else have any additional practical advice? I really appreciate suggestions regarding stuff I can actually use. Advice like "address your issues" is solid advice, but not as helpful.

If you eat emotionally, what do you do instead? What have you learned to do/how have you learned to cope since you stopped using food as coping mechanism? I am interested in learning what has worked for other people so I can find what works for me. So far I have tried journaling, exercise, and talking it out. None works as well as chocolate! At least, not yet. Any other suggestions? What is it like for you?

[Poodles 0]

I have found that cross-stitching keeps me busy, and my mind off of food. Do you have a hobby?

[Monica S 1]

I love to read. A good novel is a great escape. I was thinking about learning how to knit. That sounds fun.

[Poodles 0]

Ok, my cd came in and I have listened to it for several days now. I truly enjoy the wave sounds. Track 4 sounds like nothing, and I loop it during the night (DH does not know about this part.)

What have I noticed? I enjoy Stevia much more. I don't want chocolate... not even chocolate whey Protein shakes. Bought some vanilla shake mix today.

DH went to Walmart and bought two cases of Water without being prompted. (Drinks it instead of coke now...)

So there is an update...

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Ok, my cd came in and I have listened to it for several days now. I truly enjoy the wave sounds. Track 4 sounds like nothing, and I loop it during the night (DH does not know about this part.)

What have I noticed? I enjoy Stevia much more. I don't want chocolate... not even chocolate whey Protein shakes. Bought some vanilla shake mix today.

So there is an update...

So that means that track 4 sounds blank? That's what they mean by sublininal, right? I thought actually it was more kind of quiet with whispers of messages mingled in. I guess not though?

[Sooverit! 1]

Dear Monica: I wish I knew how to post those cute faces I would give you one huge (as the universe) hug. You are not alone and so many people have eating disorders. I think the lap band is still a good idea because as you are learning to find the cure to your eating diorder at least you won't be gaining weight. When you have tackled this problem and you will tackle and conquer it you will have the band to prevent you from gaining weight after you lose. You know what happens after any weight loss without the band! Please keep us posted on your progress. You did NOT make a mistake. This is just the beginning of your path.

Love from the universe!!

hugs & XXX

Mar