My story 6 years later....

[treasureb22 3]

I am 36 years old mother of 3, and 6 years post op. I've had just about every possible side effect and have had to put it bluntly...I hate the way my experience has gone. I was HW 306 PRE OP 236 current weight 150 but fluctuates up and down. I've had to work hard at staying above 125lbs I got so ill from malnutrition from consuming not enough calories. I've struggled with deep depression bouts and even almost suicidal sometimes. I was a very happy and socially busy "fat gurl" but now I can honestly say I am a introvert have no close friends anymore and I look way older now I have over 16 lbs of skin in my mid section I hate it.

My kids used to think I was fun and loved being with me. Today they would tell you they love when I go to their events because I am the hip and pretty mom. But I can't hang with them for long and I get tired. It's been different getting so much attention from others hitting on me now but I get angry because if they knew me before they never would of asked me out. I was sexually assaulted last year and ever since I can't seem to pull my self out of the blues and fear. I was never afraid before but from being sick from the Vitamin deficiencies etc I am weakened and do not have the strength to defend my own safety anymore.

ADVISE I GIVE ANYONE DOING THIS USE FACE CREAM AND WRINKLE CREAM RELIGIOUSLY, DO NOT LET THE SURGERY CHANGE YOUR INNER SELF. STAY DRINKING PLENTY OF Water AND FIND Snacks YOU ENJOY AND ENJOY THEM. DONT BE TO HARD ON YOURSELF YOU ARE ALEAYS YOUR WORST CRITIC.

I am not sure if anyone else has hAd this type of experience. Or if I am just a fluke but it's really not been a fun time. I don't like being tiny I feel vulnerable all the time. But I am spiritual and I got faith in my higher power he's got a plan for me.

[thermo2000 24]

I feel so bad for you. I am having my surgery soon and I already struggle with depression (on meds). I have read that this is normal but "apparently" disappears after a short while. This really concerns me. I hate to put all my dirty laundry on here for everyone to read, but I thank you for sharing your story. I wish the best for you.

[frankt04 80]

I am 36 years old mother of 3' date=' and 6 years post op. I've had just about every possible side effect and have had to put it bluntly...I hate the way my experience has gone. I was HW 306 PRE OP 236 current weight 150 but fluctuates up and down. I've had to work hard at staying above 125lbs I got so ill from malnutrition from consuming not enough calories. I've struggled with deep depression bouts and even almost suicidal sometimes. I was a very happy and socially busy "fat gurl" but now I can honestly say I am a introvert have no close friends anymore and I look way older now I have over 16 lbs of skin in my mid section I hate it. My kids used to think I was fun and loved being with me. Today they would tell you they love when I go to their events because I am the hip and pretty mom. But I can't hang with them for long and I get tired. It's been different getting so much attention from others hitting on me now but I get angry because if they knew me before they never would of asked me out. I was sexually assaulted last year and ever since I can't seem to pull my self out of the blues and fear. I was never afraid before but from being sick from the Vitamin deficiencies etc I am weakened and do not have the strength to defend my own safety anymore. ADVISE I GIVE ANYONE DOING THIS USE FACE CREAM AND WRINKLE CREAM RELIGIOUSLY, DO NOT LET THE SURGERY CHANGE YOUR INNER SELF. STAY DRINKING PLENTY OF Water AND FIND Snacks YOU ENJOY AND ENJOY THEM. DONT BE TO HARD ON YOURSELF YOU ARE ALEAYS YOUR WORST CRITIC. I am not sure if anyone else has hAd this type of experience. Or if I am just a fluke but it's really not been a fun time. I don't like being tiny I feel vulnerable all the time. But I am spiritual and I got faith in my higher power he's got a plan for me. [/quote']

Your not alone. When I awoke from surgery I had developed gout, never had a sign of it before my RNY. They pulled 1400cc out of my knee so I didn't walk for 3 days after the surgery. On the 7th day I lost 2 units of blood in my sleep and almost died. It was an upper GI track bleed. It wasn't explained how long the recovery would be if I declined a blood transfusion due to

Mal absorption. It took 6mo before I could walk 100 feet. I went from 440lbs at 6'2" down to 167lbs. I looked like an emaciated horse or dog on animal planet!. I'm now at 210lbs and feel better but I'm still lethargic...in my case I was a year or two from deaths door before my surgery.....

[frankt04 80]

Oh RNY 8/24/09

[treasureb22 3]

Yes really think again if you already have depression because fir me it didn't go away after awhile it progressed to near death. I struggle every day to find enough motivation to get through the day every aspect of my life was impacted my career relationships friendships everything I was not prepared at all. And I felt like I had a dirty trick played on me. And today I feel like I'm the only one who regrets this. But in my life it's one of the biggest regrets I have. I hope your doctor knows your real history and has proactively prepared for the mental issues that come after. I was so excited after then it crept in slowly.

[deaddemmama 474]

Yes really think again if you already have depression because fir me it didn't go away after awhile it progressed to near death. I struggle every day to find enough motivation to get through the day every aspect of my life was impacted my career relationships friendships everything I was not prepared at all. And I felt like I had a dirty trick played on me. And today I feel like I'm the only one who regrets this. But in my life it's one of the biggest regrets I have. I hope your doctor knows your real history and has proactively prepared for the mental issues that come after. I was so excited after then it crept in slowly.

I have clinical depression, and my doc really was really upfront about the dangers and realities of worsening depression. My depression was totally stabilized prior to surgery, so all systems were go.. So far my depression remains under control. Having said that, I also know two people who really struggle with depression and addiction post rny....I can't say either one would consider the surgery a success. I hope you can get some help, especially since you mention sexual assault. Have you received counseling for ptsd? It might be something to consider, hon...

[vanishing rhino 3]

Treasureb22

I feel you, you are not alone. I am bipolar and keeping it in check with meds is rough. I am just a newbie my surgery was on 9/19/13 but for this whole month I have been having trouble with taking them cause of the high dosage. I've been on them for four years but now it's like I just started on them. The only thing I can say is you gotta reach out I know it is very hard. at my worst I alienated myself from my friends and family. I guess what im trying to say is that it will get better. I know it sounds corny , but im here today able to type this message.

[treasureb22 3]

That's a really good idea for dealing with the assault but I've gone so deep into this dark place I hate leaving my house talking on the phone or even thinking about meeting a new person it's so not like me at the me I was. It feels more like a dream and yes addiction to alcohol grabbed my behind as well it took a few months to realize what I was doing and then I quit drinking completely however I never even liked to drink before I never even thought I'd become a alcoholic but when foods always been your comfort and suddenly your not able to be comforted that way our needs will find a means to get met I guess. But yes I will reconsider therapy again. Who knows maybe this time ill show up and stay. Thanks for the encouragement and acknowledgement.

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[vanishing rhino 3]

I know exactly what you mean, still haven't found the "eat to live not live to eat" zen they talk about. As far as

comforting one self, gotta get a hobby or two. I took up chainmail for me it is very zen you have to concentrate to keep the weave right it helps take my mind off of food. As a father of three myself it's hectic as it is. As for the assault talking about it and letting it out, sort of takes it's power over you away. I'm by no means an expert but I knew when box cutters started to look useful it was time to tell somebody. I have good days and bad ones but since you are here talking about it you will eventually climb out of this dark place. I like to think of things I will be able to do after or while reaching my goal weight, it helps alot on my bad days. (Yes I took this idea from "glee") don't judge hehe.

HW: 389 Pre-op 369 CW: 330.5 RNY 9/19/13

[treasureb22 3]

I appreciate your advice. It has been a journey however I'm less than my goal weight I've lost 200 + lbs and struggle to keep the little weight I have left on me. I eat whatever I want and I still can't get enough calories. And now that I am a small fry I don't have any energy or the ability to feel joy to enjoy this potentially best time if my life portion if life. I'm 36 yrs old not married and my kids are fun ages 11 and 8. But I'm tired And grumpy and sad. I get propositioned to date and in not interested it sucks. I feel like it helped my weight at the cost of my spirit. But I have faith in God and I manage my responsibility as a parent and adult I'm just doing alone I cut off the world. In my mind I like it alone and cut off but I know I really couldn't possibly but I tell myself I love it. I don't know.

I do know that I never want fir anyone else to experience what I have or to go through with the surgery without knowing the otherwise untold possibility that you may go thru.

It's not all donuts and daisies. Always be informed and keep it real with your self about your risk factors. Because I didn't and I wasn't and I regret it more than anything.

But thanks for listening. I was coming on here to inform others but I never thought I'd be receiving support as well. Thank you.

Cheers

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