It's interesting how differently I'm treated these days

[pinkpeonies 42]

I work in HR. My primary function is benefits, but I spend a lot of doing on employee relations and general HR activity. By virtue of my job, I talk to employees a lot. I conduct new hire orientation every Monday.

I've always been an introvert, but really enjoy the social aspect of my job, because it's on a small scale and is limited. I have a lot of fun with it. But recently, I've noticed that people respond to me much differently. More positively. The same jokes I tell every week are a lot funnier now and get a lot more laughs and smiles.

My boss never used to give me the time of day. I knew she hated me. Since dropping 90 lbs, I'm her right hand. She raves about my work. I'm no better at my job now than I was a year ago! In fact, last week she nominated me for a prestigious leadership conference in London. No non staff level manager has ever attended. I'm a "lowly" hourly employee. This is a really big deal. I'm excited, and proud, but it makes me wonder, why now?

Just some introspective rambling, I suppose... it makes me almost embarrassed for my old self, and I want to give her a big hug. I wasn't a lesser person, or less funny, or more mean, or a crappier employee. I was just fat. Fat is a sin that just can't be forgiven by many.

[lsereno 2,525]

I hear you! I was thin into my 30s and attributed becoming "invisible" to aging. Now that I am thin again, I see that is only a tiny part of it.

Lynda

[ljperez 87]

I see this all the time. I talked to my husband about what the difference is now. I even get mad about it. I feel they want me to act differently too. I'm still the same person just smaller. My boss even called me in to say it's time for a new wardrobe. Are you kidding me. This is my style as long as I follow the dress code why does it matter. We always knew that fat people are treated differently now we know first hand. Let's not forget were we came from.

[sknyinside 99]

I agree that our physical appearance makes a big difference as to how we are viewed and treated. I am waiting to be sleeved. But, I did an experiment at work. Rarely wore makeup to work because it's very physical and I figured I'd just sweat it off. Noticed it was very difficult to get certain people at my job to pay attention to what I was saying or give thought to my suggestions. So, I started wearing makeup at work just to see. HUGE difference. Huge. Now, I believe that the majority of it is strictly appearance. I do think too, my confidence level may have something to do with it as well. But definitely feel our physical appearance is much to heavily weighted (no pun intended) for or against us.

[LittleLinda 9]

I think that fat prejudice is alive and well.

In our world today, it's not cool to have prejudice against someone who is differently sexually oriented, or for color or race, but it's completely acceptable to be prejudiced against someone for being fat, and evenly openly make comments.

I know that my formerly thin person really did have a different opinion of overweight people, and when I became overweight I expected to be thought of and treated differently.

[gmanbat 5,889]

Old people get pushed aside as much as fat people. Don't think so? Come down to Florida after you turn 64 and try to get an entry level job.

[cindymg 629]

I don't know if I can blame other people's reaction to my fat for my problems in life. I was different, always angry, always tired, always depressed. I didn't want to be around me either.

Now people comment on how they see me more often, how different I am. And I know they don't just mean physically, they mean my personality. What they probably don't realize is that I am doing some pretty intense exercise and not eating many calories. I am frankly too mentally and physically exhausted to be angry, or depressed. Most of the time I am just content.

[PGee 318]

Similar thoughts crossed my mind today......Apparently when I was larger, I was both invisible and inaudible......Thankfully the one person whose opinion mattered has loved me regardless of my size

Congrats on the nomination, that's exciting!

[Seela 1,187]

I think we are so fortunate to have first hand experience on both sides. I remember a news special I watched years ago with , Tyra Banks, I think. .. first she dressed up in a fat suit to guage people's reations then she had some elaborate make up job to make her look old. She was "stunned" at how invisible she became! Coming from a super model that didn't have much affect on me. Towards the end of that special, the was an interview with a little old man, a war verteran. He was saying how in is hay day everyone payed attention to him and now people not only don't see him but are downright mean. He started to cry. That interview stuck with me for many years. I honestly don't know if I was guilty of that behavior before, but since, I've made a conscious effort to acknowledge people....all people. I know I'm a better person for watching that special. You just never know where inspiration will come from

[Lorie269 392]

I work in the male-dominated steel industry, though I am in an office position. Daily, we have contractors and vendors in and out of the office. Recently, people that I have seen for a while, some even years, have been coming in and introducing themselves to me. Like they think I am a new around here. I guess I was invisible when I had 76 more pounds on me.

[gmanbat 5,889]

I work in the male-dominated steel industry, though I am in an office position. Daily, we have contractors and vendors in and out of the office. Recently, people that I have seen for a while, some even years, have been coming in and introducing themselves to me. Like they think I am a new around here. I guess I was invisible when I had 76 more pounds on me.

Hmmmm.... maybe fat functions like a cloaking device...sounds like a money maker...oh, yeah...this is the wrong place to ask for experimental subjects...ya'll are de-cloaking!

[clk 3,519]

You know, I used to think a lot of this was due to my personality brightening, my newer confidence, etc. But no. Many people just treat the obese like absolute crap. I've found that even people I've known for years treat me differently. People are shallow. They're drawn to pretty things and treat them much differently. And most people do not view fat people as pretty, even though the two are not mutually exclusive!

I also know that it's absolutely true that people view overweight employees as less productive and effective, even if they're doing the same or more work as their non-obese peers. Study after study has been done about it, and the obese (and the old) have greater challenges when seeking and holding employment because of this.

Yes, fat discrimination is alive and well. Just take a look at that whole Halloween candy note thing. For every outraged person there was another saying she was just handing out the hard truth. It's been said before but it's perfectly true - it's more socially acceptable to be a drug addict than a fat person.

~Cheri

[IdahoGirl32 89]

I've no doubt that I'm treated differently because of my weight. I've noticed that people are really careful about anything concerning food or weight around fat people. It's weird. I'm one of those people who looks REALLY different without makeup and my hair done. If I go to the store without makeup and in my sweat pants, I get such a different reaction than if I go in right after work all dressed up. I'm so aware of the difference that I will literally do my hair and put on some makeup before going to the doctor or even the emergency room because I know how they treat people who look like they're low income or like they don't take care of themselves. It's crazy. It's amazing how much better service a little lipgloss and mascara can get you.

[sr910 55]

I'm experiencing the exact opposite. I've lost about 80 lbs and I seem to be getting reprimanded for every little thing, even when I've done nothing wrong!

The old me would have never thunk it, but maybe people are worried I'll come out of my shell and start kicking ass and promoting up the ranks!

[gmanbat 5,889]

I'm experiencing the exact opposite. I've lost about 80 lbs and I seem to be getting reprimanded for every little thing, even when I've done nothing wrong!

The old me would have never thunk it, but maybe people are worried I'll come out of my shell and start kicking ass and promoting up the ranks!

Interesting. Could be the size=power phenomenon. There was a thread awhile back about guys worrying that their reduced size would lessen their intimidation factor, kind of like the fat gangster scariness. No reason that the same weirdness wouldn't apply to women and power among those around you that are weak in deductive power and are prone to knee-jerkedness.

On the other hand, your new hotness could be the cause of more intimidation. Now you are a threat to their position.