Kids can be so mean!

[Ms. Vicki 0]

My friend and I went walking yesterday. We walked by an elementary school where some young boys were playing baseball. It looked like a Little League team practice since there were a few parents out also. Well, as we passed the field, the kid on first base yells, "Y'all need to go to Weight Watchers". I know this is common for kids to do especially when they want their peers to think they are "cool". But shame on the parents for not reprimanding him for his actions. No one said a word to him

My first reaction was to go and give him a spanking and tell him off. My second was to go up to him crying and tell him how much his words hurt (to make him feel bad....yeah, like that would have happened). Anyway, we just kept walking and ignored them.

Little did they know that my friend had already lost 100 lbs and that I had gone through lap-band surgery. We are making changes to our lived for the better, although it may not be apparent to those that don't know us.

Moral of the story: it is dangerous to make assumptions about any situation without knowing the true facts. But kids can still be mean! GRRR!

[Tired_Old_Man 1]

My friend and I went walking yesterday. We walked by an elementary school where some young boys were playing baseball. It looked like a Little League team practice since there were a few parents out also. Well, as we passed the field, the kid on first base yells, "Y'all need to go to Weight Watchers". I know this is common for kids to do especially when they want their peers to think they are "cool". But shame on the parents for not reprimanding him for his actions. Know one said a word to him

My first reaction was to go and give him a spanking and tell him off. My second was to go up to him crying and tell him how much his words hurt (to make him feel bad....yeah, like that would have happened). Anyway, we just kept walking and ignored them.

Little did they know that my friend had already lost 100 lbs and that I had gone through lap-band surgery. We are making changes to our lived for the better, although it may not be apparent to those that don't know us.

Moral of the story: it is dangerous to make assumptions about any situation without knowing the true facts. But kids can still be mean! GRRR!

Parents are supposed to be their children's best friends, but when they teach children their petty bigotry, they are their children's worst enemies.

[musicalmomma 1]

Awww Ms. Vicky That was really hurtful!!! I'm sorry. I know how it feels...I was out bike riding once, and a couple kids were out in their drive way playing and their parents were putting stuff in their car. As I passed them I smiled and said "hi". One of the boys said..."haha...look at the fat lady on the bike! HAHAHAH". I stopped my bike, stared him down for a moment...as his laughter wained...I said, straight faced "Look at the little boy who's parents haven't taught him any better!" His dad then came down the drive way and pulled the kid in the house by his collar!!! Ah that felt good!!!!

For some reason, some of us feel that we somehow don't have a right to stand up for ourselves when someone insults us. It took me a long time to start speaking up to ignorant comments...now if someone makes a weight related comment to me...I simply say "Thank you Captian Obvious!" Shuts them down pretty quick.

Keep up the good work!!! You're doing great!

[marys 2]

Ms.vicki and musicalmama - i am with you and know how that hurts - it's amazing what those words can do to us. I too have many many of those types of stories - had even considered starting a thread to see what others have had said to them but thought it would be too painful - one that sticks in my mind - i was walking a huge distance on a nice trail - one of my many attempts at getting weight off and I was pretty large - BUT - several kids on bikes rode by yelling - hey look it's shamu, wide load move over etc etc.

I was in tears and of course still remember it painfully.

I think all of us should try to put it away and not give that kind of power over to others who are ignorant, stupid and/or mean!

[Tired_Old_Man 1]

I know how it feels...I was out bike riding once, and a couple kids were out in their drive way playing and their parents were putting stuff in their car. As I passed them I smiled and said "hi". One of the boys said..."haha...look at the fat lady on the bike! HAHAHAH". I stopped my bike, stared him down for a moment...as his laughter wained...I said, straight faced "Look at the little boy who's parents haven't taught him any better!" His dad then came down the drive way and pulled the kid in the house by his collar!!!

Was that you? I'll make sure my kid never says that again.

[gadgetlady 4]

It's painful as an adult -- imagine how painful it is for children when they hear their peers say stuff about them? That's one of the reasons I choose to homeschool!

You definitely can't count on the parents to combat it, because that very well might be where they're getting it from. However, from the "other side of the fence", I have a recent funny.

We were driving somewhere the other day and very late for an appointment. We were in the left lane behind this driver that was going about 10mph slower than the speed limit and weaving within the lane (it was broad daylight so we didn't suspect drunkenness). My husband was flashing his lights but the driver didn't seem to notice. He was finally able to get to the center lane and get around the car, and as we passed we all turned to look and see what the problem was. Driving the car was a very aged Asian woman. My 6YO, from the back seat, says, "Oh that's the reason! She's Chinese!" We all jumped all over her right away, "Why would you say that??!!???" She informed us that she assumed a Chinese woman wouldn't know how to drive very well because they don't have any cars in China. LOL! (We had just finished a book about a woman who was a missionary to China in the early 1900's and had walked and ridden donkeys all over the countryside.) Of course, we explained to her that China had plenty of cars and this woman's problem was simply that she was a poor driver and had nothing to do with her heritage.

[Ms. Vicki 0]

I have always been extremely firm with my kids about not allowing ANY kind of discriminating remarks or jokes to be told in my home or in my presence. They know full well that anything said that is degrading to anyone be it about race, religion, sexual orientation, economic background, etc, will not be tolerated. They will even correct their friends when they "go there". I guess since I've always struggled with weight issues and having a low self-esteem, I've been very sensitive even when I was a young child.

[musicalmomma 1]

Was that you? I'll make sure my kid never says that again.

LOL!!!! Thank you TOM...that's one less insensitive kid we gotta worry about now :confused:

[Tired_Old_Man 1]

It's painful as an adult -- imagine how painful it is for children when they hear their peers say stuff about them? That's one of the reasons I choose to homeschool!

You definitely can't count on the parents to combat it, because that very well might be where they're getting it from. However, from the "other side of the fence", I have a recent funny.

We were driving somewhere the other day and very late for an appointment. We were in the left lane behind this driver that was going about 10mph slower than the speed limit and weaving within the lane (it was broad daylight so we didn't suspect drunkenness). My husband was flashing his lights but the driver didn't seem to notice. He was finally able to get to the center lane and get around the car, and as we passed we all turned to look and see what the problem was. Driving the car was a very aged Asian woman. My 6YO, from the back seat, says, "Oh that's the reason! She's Chinese!" We all jumped all over her right away, "Why would you say that??!!???" She informed us that she assumed a Chinese woman wouldn't know how to drive very well because they don't have any cars in China. LOL! (We had just finished a book about a woman who was a missionary to China in the early 1900's and had walked and ridden donkeys all over the countryside.) Of course, we explained to her that China had plenty of cars and this woman's problem was simply that she was a poor driver and had nothing to do with her heritage.

Pearl Buck can get your kids in trouble.:confused:

[Carlene 12]

My granddaughter (age 11) goes to a multi-ethnic school. One of the children referred to a classmate as a Mexican and received a stern lecture from the teacher. She told the class that was a "racial slur" and they must NOT use the term "Mexican" - ever.

Emily went home and asked her mom, "If it's such a bad word, why do we have Mexican restaurants all over the place?"

Good point, Emily. Sometimes people have good intentions, but no common sense to go with them.

[Tired_Old_Man 1]

My granddaughter (age 11) goes to a multi-ethnic school. One of the children referred to a classmate as a Mexican and received a stern lecture from the teacher. She told the class that was a "racial slur" and they must NOT use the term "Mexican" - ever.

Emily went home and asked her mom, "If it's such a bad word, why do we have Mexican restaurants all over the place?"

Good point, Emily. Sometimes people have good intentions, but no common sense to go with them.

People do not know what they are talking about, no matter what their level of education.

Personally, when I fill out a form and it asks Race(?), I write "Human".

That pisses a lot of people off, but except when I was getting my Security Clearance to work at the airport and it was needed to encode my ID, there has never been a real need to know my race on any application.

My doctor was not going to change his methods during surgery if I had written White or Black or Asian.

By the way, I always say Black rather than Afro-American or African-American, because a person can be Black without being American.

On "ABC World News Tonight" last year the anchorman was reading a story on AIDS in Africa and he said, "40 million Afro-Americans have AIDS in Africa", then stopped reading, thought about it for a while and said, I mean, "40 million Blacks have AIDS in Africa". Why couldn't he have just said, "40 million people have AIDS in Africa"?

[anonemouse 1]

My granddaughter (age 11) goes to a multi-ethnic school. One of the children referred to a classmate as a Mexican and received a stern lecture from the teacher. She told the class that was a "racial slur" and they must NOT use the term "Mexican" - ever.

Emily went home and asked her mom, "If it's such a bad word, why do we have Mexican restaurants all over the place?"

Good point, Emily. Sometimes people have good intentions, but no common sense to go with them.

While I think the teacher went too far with the "racial slur" bit, I can sort of see what she's getting at. A lot of the time, people assume that every Hispanic person they see is "Mexican", and they aren't necessarily. "Mexican" is not a bad word when used to describe things or people that actually are "Mexican", but it shouldn't be used to describe every Hispanic person out there.

My case in point: I went to see "Happy Feet" in a theater, and someone behind me said (when the little singing penguins with Hispanic accents came on) that they "hated Mexicans".

[Carlene 12]

While I think the teacher went too far with the "racial slur" bit, I can sort of see what she's getting at. A lot of the time, people assume that every Hispanic person they see is "Mexican", and they aren't necessarily. "Mexican" is not a bad word when used to describe things or people that actually are "Mexican", but it shouldn't be used to describe every Hispanic person out there.

My case in point: I went to see "Happy Feet" in a theater, and someone behind me said (when the little singing penguins with Hispanic accents came on) that they "hated Mexicans".

What, then, do you call a person of Mexican descent? Are they not Mexican, in the same sense that I am Irish?

I'm like Emily.....I just never, ever thought of "Mexican" as a "bad" word.

Cheyenne has a friend who is Hispanic. Their friends all call her an Arab. I have no idea why. I even asked her if she found it offensive. She looked at me like I was crazy.

[anonemouse 1]

What, then, do you call a person of Mexican descent? Are they not Mexican, in the same sense that I am Irish?

I'm like Emily.....I just never, ever thought of "Mexican" as a "bad" word.

Cheyenne has a friend who is Hispanic. Their friends all call her an Arab. I have no idea why. I even asked her if she found it offensive. She looked at me like I was crazy.

Like I said, if they actually are Mexican (or of Mexican descent), that's fine. It's just describing their heritage. But the term "Mexican" should not be used to describe all people of Hispanic origin or ancestry. In many cases, "Mexican" has basically become another word for "Hispanic". I could see where it could become offensive to people, especially with the recent dust-up over illegal aliens. Not to say that all Mexicans are illegal, because they certainly aren't, but a lot of people automatically think "illegal alien from Mexico" whenever they hear a person with a Spanish accent. There is also the assumption in some areas that all Mexicans are illegal. Bigoted assumption, but a lot of people do think that. So, I could see where calling someone a "Mexican", if they weren't, could be a little offensive.

[Wheetsin 714]

By the way, I always say Black rather than Afro-American or African-American, because a person can be Black without being American.

I believe that - for the most part - the only people who care whether or not black people are called black are whites. I don't say either hyphenated phrase unless I have to. I've never, ever, ever referred to a black person as "black", while talking with a black person, and had it taken as negative. Why on earth would I call someone from Wahington an "African American"? They're black, I'm white.

I also hate the whole "I don't see color." BS. If you don't see color, you're blind. There are huge differences in skin colors, and we're all different. Whether or not our skin is different is not the point. What significance you allow that to have, and how you react to it, is. No more tree hugging hippy propoganda. :rolleyes

And then you have your real gems who don't realize that oriental is a kind of rug, Asian is a descent.