Enabling

[ReDbEaN 654]

I cook normally for myself and my family. If I can't/won't eat it, normally I don't cook it BUT I do not expect them to adhere to my diet. If they want something that I don't eat, I just make sure to have plenty of veggies; either way, I can always pick the meat out of the dish for my Protein. I can't eat enough of any one thing that I feel they need to eat according to me...if I make spaghetti and meat sauce, I just eat the meat sauce with whatever veggie I cook instead of the Pasta. The hubby loves rice and gravy, so I cook it, but I just eat the meat and veggies for that. I refuse to cook two seperate meals - one for me, one for them. I do still buy chips for the family - they eat sandwiches a lot, but EVERYTHING is measured...I usually will get ziplocs and measure out 1 oz into each bag...then it's not just a free for all in the huge bag of chips. The biggest change is that I don't bake as much as I used to...baking/cooking is my "outlet". When I bake now, I only keep a small amount and the rest I give away. I don't keep soft drinks in the house, we drink lots of tea, fruit juice, milk, and Water - I've kinda always been like that - too much sugar in the soft drinks and the diet ones...don't want the aspartame. There are definitely ways to cook without making it seem like you are forcing the family to eat your diet, but it still be something you can eat.

[Fluffnomore 1,235]

Laura, thanks. That's what we are doing. We have a full physical + bloodwork scheduled for Wednesday. The turnaround is tricky, because his schedule is such that he really needs this to either happen in December or over the summer. But we'll see. If they find something else, we can resubmit for review almost immediately.

I like cooking, and I am pretty good at it. I have just avoided it the last few weeks. Did I also mention that they're all picky eaters in terms of meats? LOL. Oh well. This is character building for everyone.

[No game 14,437]

Glad to hear you guys are being proactive and fighting the decision of some paper pusher.

From what you wrote about your husband in the past he NEEDS this surgery. I hate to see him denied the opportunity for health..

Aw yes picky eaters.

My kids like to ask every night what's for dinner just so they can complain

To that I say screw em! I like to remind the 17 year old that not every night is about eating your favorite thing and soon (I hope) you will be on your own...have at it then! and please do call at some point to tell me how much you miss that homemade "crap" while you're living off of top ramen

Cook.. tell them to eat or starve.

Last night was leftover night. Of all the dishes I made the last couple of days. I put all the dishes on the counter and said you can have anything from this counter. But I forbid any of you to go into the fridge or cupboard to make anything else

(Yes I'm mean) they bitched but they ate

[Fluffnomore 1,235]

Well, he NEEDS to change his relationship with food. I'm hoping that he does qualify, if not now then eventually, and that he stops the spiral of comforting himself with food when things are rough. But that is much easier said than done.

[No game 14,437]

Well, he NEEDS to change his relationship with food. I'm hoping that he does qualify, if not now then eventually, and that he stops the spiral of comforting himself with food when things are rough. But that is much easier said than done.

Yes, surgery is only one part of the equation...

An important part though.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Y'all are MEAN. I give my kids options when I cook or heat up leftovers. I want my snuggly-wugglies to feel as if they are being nurtured and cared for as only a mother could. I want their every need to be met to the best of my ability because after all, they are the fruit of my loins and I love them like no other.

When I make something they don't care for, they can eat it with the love and joy I felt as I was preparing it or they can eat a PB&J or bowl of Cereal. Let's hope the bread isn't stale and the milk isn't spoiled. If it is, their last choice is to suck it.

[Fluffnomore 1,235]

Scared me there for a minute, LSL.

My darling youngest and I had a discussion about what he could have for Breakfast. I believe that what I said was, "You can make yogurt, cereal, or eggs for yourself while I sit here and have my coffee. Or if you hang on a minute, I'll get you a big bowl of poop."

He told me that was sick and hostile (he's 11) but I didn't see any problem. I gave him CHOICES.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Sick maybe, but I think he was pushing it with the hostile.

[Fluffnomore 1,235]

RIght? I was perfectly cheerful and pleasant while I was saying that.

[No game 14,437]

Yes, surgery is only one part of the equation... An important part though.

I felt the need to expand on this just a tad..

As we addressed before, I have a food addiction.

I knew that years before this surgery..

From years of therapy but even having this knowledge and actively seeking help. I was still fat and fighting it.

That's why I feel this surgery is an important tool.

Maybe one of the most important

[Fluffnomore 1,235]

As you may know but maybe not, I'm either riding down the big barge on a river in Egypt here, or I am not food addicted. I partially say I'm not because I live with someone who is and there is a HUGE difference in our approaches to food. And to be clear, I think my husband needs to continuing working with both his therapists (the drug pusher and the talker) and continue to dig into why he does what he does.

My good friend who was sleeved in June called me about a month later to say, "Oh my God I did not expect that I would have to feel my feelings!" She (like my husband) has a history of bingeing, purging, and all sorts of disordered behavior. And she's a Type A, must achieve all the way. As is my husband in his own way. And my sister too (although she is compulsively thinner.) I remember being somewhere with my sister and my husband where I had two bites of a soft pretzel and threw it away, and they looked at me like I was crazy. I said, "What? I'm done." And she said, "I could never do that. So I don't buy them at all." And my husband said, "I'd just buy it and eat it, even if I was stuffed." Point being, there are 5 million types of crazy in the naked city.

So it's good, as I was forewarned about that emotional side. But at the same time that part of this hasn't been as hard for me. I have my moments, but I have other coping mechanisms, such as my ridiculous novel reading compulsion.

This forum is helpful to me because I get to see into this a little better. And it helps me because I have people gently saying, "Some of this is not about you…think about his feelings this way." And I appreciate that.

[Arts137 1,811]

Y'all are MEAN. I give my kids options when I cook or heat up leftovers. I want my snuggly-wugglies to feel as if they are being nurtured and cared for as only a mother could. I want their every need to be met to the best of my ability because after all, they are the fruit of my loins and I love them like no other.

When I make something they don't care for, they can eat it with the love and joy I felt as I was preparing it or they can eat a PB&J or bowl of cereal. Let's hope the bread isn't stale and the milk isn't spoiled. If it is, their last choice is to suck it.

Oh yeah, right...

As I said somewhere I ALWAYS gave the family two choices... Take it or leave it.

If they left it then they had two more choices, encapsulated in the old contry saying "Root hog, or die".

[BlessedBeyondMeasure2012 296]

Doesn't everyone?? I'm at about 30 this year but if I could count VST I'd be at way more than that!

So if you track how many books you read in a year

[Butterthebean 8,146]

I just got home from out of town and all I can say is the mobile app is working like total dogs hit now. I've tried deleting it and reinstalling it....nothing helps. It freezes everytime I try to post. I've posted several nekkid dancing videos and none of them are here. WTF! I can't even report the problem because the "report a technical issue" thingy hasn't worked from day 1. I've posted about it to Susan and Alex and never received a comment or reply. They must both have me blocked. Good thing that is working properly.

As too Fluff's dilemma, I have no answer. Our approach was an "every man for him/her self". My wife really hated this at first. She comes from a family that sits down at EVERY meal. I decided I didn't need to sit there and watch her eat a large meal every night when I wasn't hungry and couldn't eat what she was eating. Furthermore, I needed to eat on my schedule....my "every 3 hour protein" schedule....which didn't always coincide with her schedule. When you eat 2 or 3 big meals a day, waiting an hour or 2 for dinner is no big deal. When you eat 6 mini meals a day, you can't wait an additional 2 hours.

Now she does intermittent fasting. She eats from 8am to 4pm and then she's done for the day. I don't get home from work till 630. So dinner together is a rare thing now. But we make up for it in other ways. We still spend that time together, just not eating. We both have decided that our health is too important and our dietary needs are too different....so we each eat when/what we need....and we plan our together time around other things.

We don't have kids but we do have many animals. We take turns feeding them and they eat what we give them. My mom always said she should have puppies instead of babies. Now I see why.

[Hidden from view 159]

Gosh, I had forgotten. When I was a child, we were always told to eat our meat first. Then the veg. Then the potatoes. I was a very skinny child and a skinny teenager. Only got fat when I was in my 30s

and by then had completely forgotten the meat first rule my mother had. Hmmm.