Having second thoughts...

[gemgirl 19]

Hi all. I am scheduled for surgery Dec.18th and I'm having second thoughts about going through with this. I have always been the type of person that worries about everything. I can't stop thinking about all the things that could go wrong with having this surgery. My very worst fear is dying on the operating table. I do recognize that I have always been the type of person to have irrational thoughts. I expressed this to my surgeon and he told me that it would not happen; that if anything, I would have complications but not death.

I am so torn. Have I really tried everything I can do to lose weight? The answer is no. I have tried all kinds of diets and have had some results, but the results take so long to achieve that I always end up losing motivation due to the fact that I don't see results that easily. I have been heavy all my life and I am now in my 30's and I just don't want this body anymore.

I am so scared and I don't know what to do. I have a 2 year old daughter and I can't help to think about her as I make this decision. It's like my mind is playing tricks on me. I think about being thin, happy, and full of energy and that makes me excited. But then, I think about the worst. Are any of you going through this? What should I do? Should I face my biggest fear or continue my life the way it is? What would you do if you were me?

Thank you in advance and reading this post.

[Roo101769 742]

I think it is completely normal to have doubts. Second (third, fiftieth) guesses to if this surgery is really what I want & need. Be honest with yourself is all I can say. It is forever. If your weight will never go down, continue to climb, and hinders your life in any way....Well you know what I mean. Is it possible to lose weight by diet and exercise if you really, really try? Well yes it is. And what are the REAL chances you will try that hard? I am a single mother to a little girl who is turning five this weekend. Trust me, I thought very hard about this. I have a history with blood clots and embolisms, so dying was a very real fear when I was considering. But every precaution was taken. No stone was left unturned. I had my affairs in order. I made a will. I prepared for the what ifs....And I had the surgery. Because at the end of the day the "what will be"s if I didn't have the surgery far and away outnumbered the "what ifs". I plan to be here for my daughter, until a ripe old age. The only way I knew I could better guarantee that, and also be an ACTIVE part of her life, was to have the surgery. Search your soul and I think you will have your answer.

[sifford1 27]

Oh I have the same fear, but the truth is, the surgery is safe! If your that worried, I'm sure you researched your dr and met his staff! I went in and was sleeved last wed. And they told me there was almost zero chance of me dying on the table, I was more likely to die in a car accident on the way to the hospital! I pulled it together, stated my fears all the way up till they put me under! The more I told them how scared I was, the more they would all reassure me of how safe and good the dr was! I just kept saying to myself, god is with me, I will never have this opportunity again, if I stall I will be fat, yet another year, I'm not getting younger and it's my turn to live! I have three kids and I never want to leave them, but the truth is I can die any day, however I can't get back chances if I don't take them! I seriously was just like you, and as they wheeled me back to the operating room , I kept saying, is it to late,! They walked me through each step and reassured me I would be ok the whole time, and I was! If you do everything they ask, and take all the tests , then you will do great! What are you going to regret more , letting your fear keep you from happiness , or taking a minor chance to achieve greatness! ? Hope this helps!

[McButterpants 2,846]

Gemgirl, you are not alone.

I'm reasonably sure that everyone that replies to this post will say the same thing: I know how you feel and I have felt the same way.

I have not had surgery yet - I'm scheduled two weeks from tomorrow. Am I scared? Hell yes, I'm scared. This is a big decision. Have I had doubts and wanted to back out? Of course. But the one thing that keeps bringing me back is this - I really don't like my life right now. I have a great family, don't get me wrong. But I want to participate in this life, not do what I'm doing today. I'm not only doing this for me, but I'm doing it for my husband and son.

Think thru your decision - you're the one that has to go thru this. It will be hard, but what I keep thinking about are the benefits I'm going to see in a few short months. Eye on the prize, so to speak.

Good luck!

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

Hind sight is 20/20! The worst thing that can happen to you is dying...the odds are in your favor that you won't...However it can and has happened to some on this very site...

Only you can decide what is right for you...Only you can make the decision...Do your research, keep telling your doctor your concerns..Keep your support system going...

You have more of a chance to be hit by lightening then to fie from this surgery....

I had a horrible year due to this surgery ....And I was not afraid to do it at all...i was ready....I worked very hard to get here today and have not regretted one thing..

I can now hug my grand daughter close to my chest, sit her on my knee and read her a story or sing to her...I can sit in a car without an extension or seats in the waiting room at the hospital..they don't have to call up for a bigger wheel chair anymore because I can fit in the regular one easily..And I am not even done yet....

I went from a 6X to a large so far...it just keeps getting better and better for me even though the first 10 months were hell...

Oh one last thing my hubby says I scare him now because he can't keep up with me...thought that day would never be seen again.....

It's your life, your decision and and your time to make a change or not.....All the best kid!

[Teachamy 1,042]

Hi Gem~

I get those fears too. I worry about my kids if...but I know this is the right decision. These fears are often the worst for me the day of any of the surgeries that I have had, so I'm sure I will feel crazier the day of surgery, which btw, is also Dec. 18th! You and I have very similar stats, so feel free to message me!

Amy

[7 Bites_Jen 479]

I know EXACTLY how you feel!!

I was so afraid of dying on the operating table. I was afraid of leaks. I was afraid that it wasn't going to work ... I was just afraid of everything for sure.

But think of this:

The risks involved in this surgery are minimal. There is a larger chance that you will die of a heart attack because of your weight than that you will die during or because of surgery. Go back to your original decision: WHY did you decide to have surgery in the first place? How many diets have you been on. Why do you think they didn't work?

The choice to continue forward with surgery is your own - no one can tell you what to do. But I can say that despite all my fears, I did it anyway. And I am so glad I did. It was the best decision I ever made.

[Arts137 1,811]

To all the responses... YEP!

[susan6161 142]

I think most of us have had this same thought (many, many times)! Simply weigh the options and make the choice that is best for YOU. I know that I was doing so well on my 4 week pre-op Protein Shake diet and almost called and cancelled my surgery. My surgery was 11 weeks ago and I am so thankful that I went through with it. There are days that I get frustrated but the results are amazing. I feel better than ever....and I can't wait for all of the fun activities I can be involved in next summer. No more watchiing from the sidelines for me! Good luck and have faith in your decision!

[joatsaint 2,814]

Hi all. I am scheduled for surgery Dec.18th and I'm having second thoughts about going through with this. I have always been the type of person that worries about everything. I can't stop thinking about all the things that could go wrong with having this surgery. My very worst fear is dying on the operating table. I do recognize that I have always been the type of person to have irrational thoughts. I expressed this to my surgeon and he told me that it would not happen; that if anything, I would have complications but not death.

I am so torn. Have I really tried everything I can do to lose weight? The answer is no. I have tried all kinds of diets and have had some results, but the results take so long to achieve that I always end up losing motivation due to the fact that I don't see results that easily. I have been heavy all my life and I am now in my 30's and I just don't want this body anymore.

I am so scared and I don't know what to do. I have a 2 year old daughter and I can't help to think about her as I make this decision. It's like my mind is playing tricks on me. I think about being thin, happy, and full of energy and that makes me excited. But then, I think about the worst. Are any of you going through this? What should I do? Should I face my biggest fear or continue my life the way it is? What would you do if you were me?

Thank you in advance and reading this post.

Having 2nd thoughts is completely normal. We all go through this phase. I backed out on my 1st try at scheduling surgery. But I asked myself 2 questons that put it into perspective:

Do I see my situation improving if I don't go through with it?

Do I want to be in this situation or a worse one a year from now?

I ask myself those 2 whenever I make a life changing decision.

[ms.garcia 13]

I am having surgery friday Nov. 1st and I and on a 2 day liquid diet ......today is the first day.....and every minute im reinstating why im doing this ....thats this will pass....im so nervous and scared but I feel like im at a point in my life that its not a case of is this what I want to do but its a case that I have to do this there is no other choice but I do think my mind is playing games with me.....im not sure what I need to do or should be doing to keep me focused and motivat3d to go through this on friday ..please help me ..im begging. ....screaming for help all the way from clovis california..in my bed...sad....and confused....trying to find a focus...a rationale. ....a xomfortable place/space in my mind...

[gemgirl 19]

Wow! Thank you all for you responses; I really do appreciate it. I have a lot to think about and I really do feel that I am just over thinking it and making myself sick from thinking so much. I know that if I don't do this surgery, I will never get to my desired weight. Thankfully, I do not have any health issues; I have been fairly healthy my whole life. I should think of this surgery as a preventative measure to not end up with Hypertension or diabetes, etc. Thank you so much to all that replied!

[sherri scheffler 10]

Hi all. I am scheduled for surgery Dec.18th and I'm having second thoughts about going through with this. I have always been the type of person that worries about everything. I can't stop thinking about all the things that could go wrong with having this surgery. My very worst fear is dying on the operating table. I do recognize that I have always been the type of person to have irrational thoughts. I expressed this to my surgeon and he told me that it would not happen; that if anything' date=' I would have complications but not death.

I am so torn. Have I really tried everything I can do to lose weight? The answer is no. I have tried all kinds of diets and have had some results, but the results take so long to achieve that I always end up losing motivation due to the fact that I don't see results that easily. I have been heavy all my life and I am now in my 30's and I just don't want this body anymore.

I am so scared and I don't know what to do. I have a 2 year old daughter and I can't help to think about her as I make this decision. It's like my mind is playing tricks on me. I think about being thin, happy, and full of energy and that makes me excited. But then, I think about the worst. Are any of you going through this? What should I do? Should I face my biggest fear or continue my life the way it is? What would you do if you were me?

Thank you in advance and reading this post.[/quote']

Its like a four hr nap w/recovery . Do uou want to be happy & healthy for your daughter & yourself? If you don't choose the surgery your chance of dying as an OBESE person is more likely than dying on the operating table. Do what's best for you & daughter.