losing myself

[dpeeler28 24]

I'm not really sure if this is where i need to even be posting this but I am so lost! I feel like I have completely lost the person I used to be. Did any sleevers go through this after losing weight?? No one in my family understands how I feel and I really don't even know where to start with counseling. At this point, I want to take it all back and just go back to the old me because losing weight has made me lose my mind!!! I don't like the attention and I have actually lost a great guy because I don't know how to deal with all of this....someone please tell me I'm not crazy lol!

[marmello 77]

I havent had my surgery yet so dont understand how u are feeling but im praying for u

[dpeeler28 24]

thank you : )

[meamo 42]

I haven’t had my surgery yet either.... I am also praying for you ..but can you pls be more detailed as to what you are feeling? What doesn't your family understand? How different are you now compared to the person you use to be?

[BKLYNgal87 503]

Is this sadness from environmental challenges or do you feel like it's mostly internal (in your head)? Depression isn't uncommon after weight loss surgery and even regular old weight loss. You are experiencing a lot of physical and mental changes and that can be very difficult to deal with. Have you tried support groups or any kind of counseling? Having some experience in this arena I'd suggest you first look for a therapist or social worker who specializes in CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), and it would be helpful if they had experience with bariatric patients. CBT is goal-focused therapy that teaches you coping strategies. Why I suggest it is a lot of therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists out there are more interested in keeping patients in therapy than helping patients so that they no longer need therapy. CBT practictioners don't generally practice that way. If you don't see benefit from that after a couple months then you may need something more long term. It may also be helpful to talk this out with your surgeon's office and see if they can give you options or a referral.

Hang strong! You're not crazy. You just need a little help as you go through a major life transition. Wishing you well

Edited October 29, 2013 by BKLYNgal87

[leslie1958 159]

Your post makes me very concerned for you. First off I am not a doctor and wouldn't presume to diagnose but I do have experience with depression in people close to me and this definitely sounds like a form of depression, you feel lost and isolated, no one understands you. First thing is call the office of your surgeon and ask for a referral to a counselor. Whether or not you know how to describe it, someone will know what to do for you. It sounds like you are mourning the loss of the old you and unable to embrace the bright future you have ahead. There is help for you, there really is - please pick up a phone and get into see someone who can treat you and help you through this. Good luck !!

[dpeeler28 24]

thank you for all your supportive words and encouragement. I really do appreciate it.

I am a year and a half out and about 6 months after surgery i became very bitter towards people. The difference in how i was treated was astonishing!! i couldn't believe how people reacted to me(and still do). I had a great guy that seen through the weight and loved me for me, but at that time, i had settled for what i could get and felt that i loved him too....post surgery(as soon as i was able to get over the shock of how different i was treated) i became more of a social butterfly and began to get a lot of attention. I have never had that kind of attention, and still to this day, i don't know what to do with it! i feel like a teenager that is going wild....that's not me. I have always been level headed, had great coping skills and was always the "shoulder to lean on" for others. I don't feel like that same person anymore. I broke up with my boyfriend of three years because i was no longer attracted to him, and he could not deal with the attention i was getting....the surgery/weight loss changed me plain and simple. my family cannot understand the emotional aspect of all of this for me. none of them has an addiction to food and none of them have faced obesity like I did. I cannot explain to them how hard it is for me to slowly watch myself turn my own world upside down. No surgeons office prepared me for all this....i don't care what they tell you about this "life changing" surgery. I was not prepared for this at all.

[Arts137 1,811]

Sweetheart, there are similar threads on this board...

People DO treat fat folks differently and as you lose that is hard to deal with...

Just know that we are here for you.

[Momonanomo 534]

In my mid 20's I lost 75 lbs with weight watchers and I definitely freaked out over the difference in the way I was treated. Bitter is an excellent word to use. I was indeed astonishing how differently I was treated. This kind of thing can really mess with a person's head, and in my case I believe it is largely what led to me slipping into old habits and regaining my weight -- and then some.

I say find a counselor NOW. You don't want to jeopardize your success. A counselor can help you unravel all these complicated feelings, and help you find ways to center yourself. You are still YOU, but you are different.

I imagine my experience this time may be a bit different as far as the attention because I am a lot older this go round. But I think if I start feeling uncomfortable I will go to a counselor, because I don't want to go back to that place.

Best of luck to you, and I'm glad you shared here on VST. This is an excellent place to start for support. But a good counselor would be very valuable for you too.

[Susysleever 265]

The cognitive behavioral guru is Dr. Burns. I got his book and found that most of the way I'm thinking is wrong...specifically black and white thinking. You can probably read excerpts