male only On the fence for surgery...

[familyguy 147]

Gentlemen,

I'm a 39 male weighing 250 with a BMI of 35. I've struggled with weight pretty much my whole life absent a few years from late high school through college.

Over the last few years, the weight has become harder to deal with. I can't participate in all the activities I'd like to, my cholesterol is high, blood sugar is getting elevated, clothing is harder to find, etc. Past diets -- adkins, calorie count, etc. work until they don't.

I've been approved for the surgery but am having some second thoughts -- is this too drastic? Will I become a social outcast for only eating two bites of food at lunches and dinners (I have a busy social life)? What about all the complications?

Was wondering if any of you other guys had similar situations -- weight wasn't life threatening (but definitely and issue) and decided to go ahead with the surgery?

[Buckfever53 4]

Hey,

I am practically in the same boat you are same age and weight 257 29 years old 5"11. I have already been approved and going to set a surgery date in two weeks, looking towards the 3rd week of january.

My concern now is that I will loose to much weight and I am going to discuss this with my doctor at the next visit absolute lowest weight I want to be is 180. Dont really have an answer for you, like I said same boat same thoughts.

[Buckfever53 4]

I am not worried about what people will think about me me,

[cubbies76 132]

At the end of the day, you have to decide. I don't think you'll find a doctor that would say you were at low risk for all sorts of morbidities with a BMI of 35. When I started the process of getting approved, I only had mild hypertension and was 36. However, every time I went for a physical, I was terrified I was going to be told I had developed Type II diabetes. Every time, the doctor told me I was at high risk for it.

I too had tried most diets: Atkins, medifast, nutrisystem, normal and regular dieting. All worked in the short term but eventually I regained my losses plus more to the point I had a BMI of 47. All without having anything that a low level blood pressure medicine couldn't take care of.

After my last physical in which I was terrified of being diagnosed with diabetes and having gone through another post-diet regain, I decided enough was enough. I couldn't let my fear of diabetes motivate me to lose and keep off any weight and I was tired of letting my size be the first thing people noticed about me. I started looking at lap band and quickly realized sleeve was the better option for me. One of the big draws for me was that I was not a snacker or grazer; I liked large meals. And looking at many posts here and seeing what other sleevers eat in person, I don't think it would be a big deal socially. Many guys eat a 4-6 ounces at a meal, which would be a decent dent in a plate at a meal. It is tough for the first couple months as we ease back into normal foods and getting to the 4-6 ounces we can eat at a meal. I'm still in that process right now and it is still odd. The other night, I went to dinner with friends, ordered some bisque and ate about 3 ounces of the liquid. Same thing at lunch last week. I'm only 13 days postop though. I'm realizing that socializing and eating huge meals are completely independent on each other. In fact, I have enjoyed it more as I am less focused on devouring the huge plate in front of me and more on chatting up friends.

I too am very social. In fact, my very first post on these forums was in the Man Room asking about socializing after the sleeve. I love going out to bars, clubs, concerts, sporting events, etc. I do it all still without any issues. I haven't started back on any alcohol yet and likely won't for a while because in my mind, if I made this huge decision, I'm doing it right. I enjoy alcohol like most of us, but I've enjoyed it plenty on my way to a high BMI. Many, many sleevers drink and I will again eventually. But I still go out and have fun at bars and whatnot.

At the end of the day you have to decide whether you want it or not. It's a hell of a decision and one that everyone naturally questions during the process. Socializing is one that I think you will find ends up not being an issue folks worry about.

[ItsMe2033 143]

Hey,

I am practically in the same boat you are same age and weight 257 29 years old 5"11. I have already been approved and going to set a surgery date in two weeks, looking towards the 3rd week of january.

My concern now is that I will loose to much weight and I am going to discuss this with my doctor at the next visit absolute lowest weight I want to be is 180. Dont really have an answer for you, like I said same boat same thoughts.

I have read about a few cases of someone losing too much weight, but it is very rare. It should be very easy to increase your caloric intake as you get closer to goal weight.

[cubbies76 132]

I have read about a few cases of someone losing too much weight' date=' but it is very rare. It should be very easy to increase your caloric intake as you get closer to goal weight.[/quote']Agreed. I read posts on here of guys getting to 2000 calories a day. Takes a littler bit of work from what it sounds like. Me, I'm planning on eventually getting to 1600 a day. That's what the 10-minute metabolic test I did said I would need at 215, which is my goal weight.

[ItsMe2033 143]

....

I've been approved for the surgery but am having some second thoughts -- is this too drastic? Will I become a social outcast for only eating two bites of food at lunches and dinners (I have a busy social life)? What about all the complications?

...

You won't become a social outcast for eating only two bites. In fact, if you carefully manage it, most people won't even know or notice unless you want them to. The exception to this is during the first couple of months after surgery where your food choices are restricted. Then you have to be smart and order something compatible with your plan such as some type of Soup, etc.

The complications from the surgery are usually minor and tend to occur within the first month or two after surgery. There are some people who do have more serious complications. This does not happen too often, but it does happen, so you should read a lot of threads on this forum and acquaint yourself with the complications so that you are satisfied that the benefits outweigh the risks. For most people the benefits far outweigh the risks.

I don't think the surgery is too drastic for you.

Edited October 28, 2013 by ItsMe2033

[familyguy 147]

Guys, this perspective is super helpful. As I read your responses, it's sort of eye opening to me that my biggest concern is that people will think I'm eating too little. That's probably a topic for the shrink. My date's been set for November 25, so I'm just making sure I'm not crazy.

Did you guys experience any complications post opp?

Any negative / positive surprises so far?

[familyguy 147]

I'm realizing that socializing and eating huge meals are completely independent on each I love going out to bars' date=' clubs, concerts, sporting events, etc. I do it all still without any issues. I haven't started back on any alcohol yet and likely won't for a while because in my mind, if I made this huge decision, I'm doing it right. I enjoy alcohol like most of us, but I've enjoyed it plenty on my way to a high BMI. Many, many sleevers drink and I will again eventually. But I still go out and have fun at bars and whatnot. At the end of the day you have to decide whether you want it or not. It's a hell of a decision and one that everyone naturally questions during the process. Socializing is one that I think you will find ends up not being an issue folks worry about.[/quote']

You and I are similar on the social stuff, drinking, etc. I guess I think people are paying a lot more attention to what I'm consuming than they actually do.

Edited October 28, 2013 by familyguy

[Afbanuelos 0]

Hello - It took me three years to make my decision. Like you, my BMI is 35, 33 yrs old, 6 ft. I'm scheduled to be sleeved this Friday (11/1/13).

[cubbies76 132]

Guys' date=' this perspective is super helpful. As I read your responses, it's sort of eye opening to me that my biggest concern is that people will think I'm eating too little. That's probably a topic for the shrink. My date's been set for November 25, so I'm just making sure I'm not crazy. Did you guys experience any complications post opp? Any negative / positive surprises so far?[/quote']I have been very fortunate and haven't had any problems or issues in the 14 days since my surgery. I know people can have issues with nausea, vomiting, getting fluids down, etc. But I haven't had any of those. I've been able to get out and walk a bunch as well, walking 6 straight miles yesterday without any issues. But, I consider myself pretty fortunate in that regard.

[4theluvof 11]

Heck.... I was at Target the day I was discharged. My surgery was 10/23-last Wednesday. Every day has been better for me, running errands each day, doing yard work yesterday. I did lose my energy a bit quicker but wasn't surprised, not eating/ drinking much at the moment. I didn't have any serious health issues either and struggled with the decision for about a year before going through with it. This is what helped me make up my mind. Before when I was unsure I kept saying this is crazy!! We were born with that stomach for a reason. But as time went on I realized we were also not born or destined to have this extra weight which is or will eventually create other problems. I kept thinking it was unnecessary surgery because I had no related health issues so why would I risk this surgery? But then it dawned on me....why am I risking my health with all this extra weight? The science is there just like my LASIK I had was not necessary but sooo glad I did it, that was 8 years ago!! I am also glad I did the lumpectomy, chemo, and radiation for breast cancer that was 9 years ago. Although that was necessary to a point, the benefits outweighed the risks. I found out that being overweight was a huge risk for my cancer returning due to the tumor being full of estrogen and fat contains estrogen. I tried most of my life with plenty of diets just to end up yo-yoing like a lot of folks on here. So now I can say I am just plain giddy that I made this decision. Everyone has to do what's right for them, I just hope that the people on the fence realize that hanging onto that extra weight is making your organs work harder, your bones are carrying more and the possibilities of all the serious illnesses that may be in the future. So glad to see you have it scheduled-you are now taking the bull by the horns and helping your own body and this is definitely a preventive measure. I see people on here who wished they done it long before they started getting illnesses. The surgery most likely would have prevented a lot of their pain and let alone $$ they have sunk into their drugs/treatment and copays. I think at the very least you will be pleasantly surprised with your decision, I know I am. You are lucky, you are having a surgery and it sounds like besides the weight you are healthy. I would only think that is to your advantage for having the surgery, less risk of complications and recovery will probably be much smoother for you.

I initially scheduled my surgery for 9/11 but had so much anxiety I cancelled it. But it wasn't long after that I was really depressed, feeling helpless and realized this for me is a gift. So I took it.

Best if luck to you, you will do great and please keep posting.

[familyguy 147]

Heck.... I was at Target the day I was discharged. My surgery was 10/23-last Wednesday. Every day has been better for me, running errands each day, doing yard work yesterday. I did lose my energy a bit quicker but wasn't surprised, not eating/ drinking much at the moment. I didn't have any serious health issues either and struggled with the decision for about a year before going through with it. This is what helped me make up my mind. Before when I was unsure I kept saying this is crazy!! We were born with that stomach for a reason. But as time went on I realized we were also not born or destined to have this extra weight which is or will eventually create other problems. I kept thinking it was unnecessary surgery because I had no related health issues so why would I risk this surgery? But then it dawned on me....why am I risking my health with all this extra weight? The science is there just like my LASIK I had was not necessary but sooo glad I did it, that was 8 years ago!! I am also glad I did the lumpectomy, chemo, and radiation for breast cancer that was 9 years ago. Although that was necessary to a point, the benefits outweighed the risks. I found out that being overweight was a huge risk for my cancer returning due to the tumor being full of estrogen and fat contains estrogen. I tried most of my life with plenty of diets just to end up yo-yoing like a lot of folks on here. So now I can say I am just plain giddy that I made this decision. Everyone has to do what's right for them, I just hope that the people on the fence realize that hanging onto that extra weight is making your organs work harder, your bones are carrying more and the possibilities of all the serious illnesses that may be in the future. So glad to see you have it scheduled-you are now taking the bull by the horns and helping your own body and this is definitely a preventive measure. I see people on here who wished they done it long before they started getting illnesses. The surgery most likely would have prevented a lot of their pain and let alone $$ they have sunk into their drugs/treatment and copays. I think at the very least you will be pleasantly surprised with your decision, I know I am. You are lucky, you are having a surgery and it sounds like besides the weight you are healthy. I would only think that is to your advantage for having the surgery, less risk of complications and recovery will probably be much smoother for you.

I initially scheduled my surgery for 9/11 but had so much anxiety I cancelled it. But it wasn't long after that I was really depressed, feeling helpless and realized this for me is a gift. So I took it.

Best if luck to you, you will do great and please keep posting.

4theluvof -- Really liked what you wrote. This is way I'm thinking about the surgery -- it's sort of a preemptive strike on a lot of future health issues and will enable me to participate in a lot of activities that I can't today. While surgery is drastic, so is spending the rest of my life with 60 or 70 pounds of excess weight.

[JeffA70 200]

Gentlemen' date='

I've been approved for the surgery but am having some second thoughts -- is this too drastic? Will I become a social outcast for only eating two bites of food at lunches and dinners (I have a busy social life)? What about all the complications?

Was wondering if any of you other guys had similar situations -- weight wasn't life threatening (but definitely and issue) and decided to go ahead with the surgery?[/quote']

Yep, it's drastic. So is the health risk of obesity. That's what it came down to for me. You will not become a social outcast... I eat out, socialize frequently. You will probably gain a different perspective of the IMHO warped role food plays in society. But you will eat again... It will not always be two bites; I had a cheeseburger without a bun for dinner and loved every bite.

And you will find, I suspect, that it will be the best decision you've ever made.

[skikyd 165]

Guys.

You have to do this for you,not what your lunch buddies think.

I told my wife and son and one else in my family.

I told Most friends. Only 1 pushed back. She has since come around and supports me. she is coming to dinner Friday night. I am 4 weeks out and start " mush food" that night. I'll control the menu. It will be aewsome for them and compliant for me.

The " eating out weirdness". Only lasts a very few weeks. I have danced around it successfully with my extended family. Due to complications I was hospitalized 6 days. No one knew.

In terms of eating out. --- 99.9 % of people will understand and be helpful.

I have explained my needs

To waiters. Thay have in 100% of cases been helpful and have even gone out of their way to accommodate me.

Sunday night we are going out with friends. They suggested a place. I looked up the menu on line and suggested some. Place else. I told them I had just had stomach surgery and thought the place I suggested would work better for me.

They were very much on board.

I am happy to chat 1 on 1 with anyone on the fence. It is all about YOU AND YOUR HEALTH.