From the top of the world to the bottom of the barrel

[imfatpat 64]

Or in other words, how the mighty fall.

Oh hard times!

Self image, weight, perception, I am pretty, I am thin I am ugly, I am fat,

My own worse enemy.

I slip a little then I trip myself all the way.

food, my enemy, my nemesis! My lifeline my love!

I must eat!

I mustn't eat!

I never want to eat again.

I want to eat all the time...

Day by day as I consume, I am consumed.

I am an inspiration, I am a sham.

I am hanging on so fragile and scared.

I want to live, this is not living.

[bonniefide 49]

That's a terrific poem. I agree with it all. It is a constant struggle, inside and out.

[imfatpat 64]

That's a terrific poem. I agree with it all. It is a constant struggle' date=' inside and out.[/quote']

Thank you,

I am feeling somewhat fragile tonight.

This journey sometimes gets overwhelming, in the sense that it is endless.

These thoughts are consuming me this week and I am weary...

[mich 74]

I feel it too. Your post made me smile. Someone else knows how I feel! I'm just over 2 months out from band to sleeve. I wonder what my new normal will be, and when it will arrive? One year, two years, three years? How long until I am at peace with these changes? One moment I am imagining my lovely, healthy, smaller, happy new stomach. The next I feel so bad for butchering, damaging, hurting my body and imaging a lifetime of regrets.

But I keep going, one day at a time. Reminding myself to be grateful for all I have. I am blessed. All will be well. And then I am back to imagining that wonderful future I wish for myself.