Depressed and disappointed in self

[caroline2 89]

I am curious if anyone has experienced this. I'm scheduled to be sleeved Nov 22 and am thrilled. We all know what work it takes to get approval! I've done a lot of thinking, perhaps excessively, about how I got to this weight. I'm disappointed in myself. I'm sad I've missed out on so much, because of being tired all the time, which is perceived by others as lazy. I'm embarrassed about my weight. I flew 2 weeks ago and had to ask for a seatbelt extender. Also, my pants I had on split wide open in the back. No telling how long before my daughter noticed. Thank goodness she had a jacket....that barely tied around my waist. Basically, I've been thinking of what being overweight has been like...miserable. I'm trying to be positive and think about how it will be. Is anyone else feeling this way?

[HoosierGirl 780]

Remember when we were kids and would get a "do-over"? Well, this is your DO OVER! This is one of the only ways I know an adult can make up for all the things we missed out on - been humiliated by - had to suffer as a result of our weight.

Don't be disappointed in yourself. Celebrate the end of this chapter of your life and decide you are going to KICK ASS in the next chapter of your life! All the things you mention are going to make you work your sleeve like crazy to hit your goal. Then you can use these memories as the reason to STAY at goal.

I am not disappointed in you AT ALL...I am very impressed that you are taking charge of your weight! Hugs my friend.

Edited October 24, 2013 by HoosierGirl

[juliansmommy 67]

I think we all have felt that way and that is why we are doing what we are doing. Try not to think about the past. Get a piece of paper and write everything you want to do when you are thinner. That is what I have been doing. Sorta like a check list. This way you are able to check them off that list. Hugs to you! You are not alone!! Xo

Co

[HoosierGirl 780]

I think we all have felt that way and that is why we are doing what we are doing. Try not to think about the past. Get a piece of paper and write everything you want to do when you are thinner.

YES! I did the same thing and have been checking off those items! http://hoosierfatty.wordpress.com/goals/ So far, the only things I haven't been able to do are the Walking Tour of Italy (our kids are young) or get a photo taken with Hugh Jackman. The person, not a cardboard cutout! LOL! Will have to get creative to make that happen!!!

[JollyG 4]

Hang in there Caroline - not long to go. I'm for 4th Nov and lately i've even felt better at the way (some) people look at me and treat me. Why? Coz its soon to be a thing of the past. So i'm kinda just looking on with detached feelings now.

I have lots of health issues that will improve with this weight loss. I look to lose 90 -100 lb.

I'm always hard on myself for waste and missed opportunity. In this case though, my timing ( and yours) is not too far off. 10 years ago or maybe even 5 they would have wanted to give me the Lapband. By waiting longer I have avoided that whole thing.

Maybe it would have helped, but maybe just led to more worries.

I have to remind myself often to look forward rather than back. Trust that the way has been prepared for me. That the time is right.

Go well with your surgery and recovery and new life.

[sonya139 95]

Look forward....not back!

[bonniefide 49]

I felt this way. I felt ashamed that I even needed to be having surgery - like if I really had my life in order, I wouldn't have let myself get this big in the first place. I wouldn't have let myself get big and miss out living life to the fullest in my 20's. I was embarrassed to tell people and wondered what they would think of me. Even now that it's over, I have these moments of, "oh my god! what did i do to myself!"

HOWEVER... then I have to think, if I didn't do it now, I could be even older than I am not, looking back, still struggling, wishing I had done something because I've missed by 30's (or 40's, or more!) This is not going to be easy. The full extent of how hard it is probably hasn't even hit me yet, but I know that I will do it. I have to do it because I want to feel better.

I had a NSV today just realizing that my horrible foot pain has stopped - just by taking off 15 lbs the week after surgery. Maybe with another 15, my hips will feel good. Another and my knees will feel good. I have to hold on to that hope of being pain free, being active with my husband, and feeling proud of myself!

Be proud that you are taking control now and just move forward. A year from now, you'll read your post and it will all be in the past.

[caroline2 89]

Thank you everyone for your encouraging words. I'm glad that some of these feelings are normal. I'm really trying to look on the positive side...like going to the beach next year and hopefully getting a swimsuit in a regular size! I really dislike the term plus size! Thanks again, my friends.