Sibling Rivalry

[haragl 26]

Need help to figure out how to deal with this issue. I have always been the heavy sister. I had gastric sleeve Sept 23, 2012 and have lost 70 lbs from my highest. I know that's not the greatest loss but for me to have taken it off and kept it off is a big achievement. I am able to eat anything and didn't have any issues post-op. I am continuing to work on getting more weight off but it's harder now although I do still feel full sooner and will get sick if I go above my limit. I started at 345 lbs at my heavist and am hovering around 280-275. I feel alot better and have more energy and my clothes feel much looser and I can tell I have lost a lot of inches. My sister had the surgery in April. She is down to a size 10 and still loosing. She probably only had to lose about 60 lbs and is almost there. She still can't eat hardly anything and gets sick very easily. She can't tolerate meat or salad and her diet is mostly Protein Drinks 3 x day and little nibbles. My mother keeps talking about how her weight is just "melting away" and how thin she is getting. I want to be glad for her and part of me is but I am also very resentful. I did this to make me feel better and to improve my health and I know this is petty but I feel like she took it away from me. Plus the weight is coming off so much easier for her and I am stuck. I know I have more to loose and it will be slower but I am just so frustrated and don't really have anyone I can express these feelings to without sounding like a jealous witch. Which to be truthful is what I feel like sometimes. Any suggestions, comments etc that might help me I would really appreciate. Thanks

[magtart 603]

I know how you feel. My younger sister and I have always been around the same level of fatness. She is 3 inches shorter than me so she always weighed less, but we were about the same size. Since I quit working to care for my husband (long-term illness) I have just gained more and more weight and become less mobile due to ruptured discs, spinal stenosis, and bad knees. Sis, on the other hand, was off work for 6 months or so and just stopped eating much due to stress. She now has a job that has her on her feet all day, but is still very stressful, so she continues to lose weight. She just does not eat healthy at all.

My other Sis (they are twins) is an LPN and is constantly on her about her health. She has a history of pre-cancerous polyps in her colon, but refuses to get another colonoscopy. She has had some bleeding from the rectum within the last few months and still she won't make the appointment. She is all about how good she feels wearing a size 18 and getting compliments on her weight loss, but she is ignoring her health. I have finally had to tell her to quit calling me every week to say "guess how much I weigh?" She can call me, but she better be telling me she has made an appointment with the GI doc pretty soon.

In the meantime, I know my decision to get the sleeve has a little bit of sibling rivalry in there, but the main reason is I need to get healthy before I am no longer able to care for my husband. I want to be healthy. I want to feel like getting out of bed in the morning and look forward to the day.

I would say just focus on yourself. Try to renew your relationship with your sleeve. Maybe try a Protein shake to replace one meal a day. Take a nice long walk and enjoy the fall weather. Buy a new outfit in a smaller size that will show off your weight loss. Be nice to yourself.

[NMJG 1,266]

Oh honey, I feel for you. Remember, every body is different. If you lose slower your skin won't shrink as much and it will be easier to keep it off. You are learning a new lifestyle, being healthy, and doing well with your sleeve. Congrats to you for doing a great job! Your time to be in a size 10 or 8 will come, and you will be the one getting all the praise because your achievement is so much greater. Best wishes to you. We witches have to stick together

[Beach Lover 1,084]

I understand why you feel that your thunder is being stolen. If I am looking at this correctly it sounds like she has always been thinner and you finally felt better about yourself and was getting some family and friend attention that was much needed. In walks your sister who drops the weight and takes your good feelings and attention right out from under you. This would be very upsetting for me especially if my mother is commenting all the time. Now, I also want to say this.........Are you doing everything possible to continue your weight loss? Are you paying attention to how much you are actually eating, staying away from carbs when possible, drinking before or after a meal when you shouldn't, getting some exercise in? These are just a few questions you need to ask yourself. I am wondering if you are also beating the crud out of yourself because she is dropping the weight and you don't feel like you have lost as much as you would have liked. If this is the case and you are honestly doing everything possible to work your sleeve then hang in there you will get there. There are plenty of slow losers but they do succeed and so will you. However, if the answers to the questions lean towards slowing your weight loss then it is time to start a new day tomorrow and work the sleeve as it is intended. Only you know the answers and there is no judgement or brow beating going on just a sincere pat on the back and a loud "You can do it!" Big hug!!

[haragl 26]

thanks for the help. I guess I just needed to vent and put it out there and out of me. I need to remember that this is a marathon and not a sprint and the only ones time I need to worry about it mine. Thanks again.