To fill or not to fill? That is the question!

[JessyInSD 0]

Thank you Kat... I do feel like I have friends here on LBT like you, that have gone through this before me and will help get me back on the right path!

I "know" what I need to do, I'm just fighting it right now. What I "want" to do is get back to my low-carb lifestyle. I lost 50lbs way before my band and kept it off for two years. Then I starting slowly gaining it back. I decided to get banded because there was no way in hell I was going to go back to almost 273lbs! Since I can't eat any solid Protein, I know I need to do the shakes. I'm just fighting it. Carb cravings are the worst to over come... ARRGH! :mmph:

I'm just feeling sorry for myself. Finally admitting that I have an addiction to food was so hard to do. Getting the band as a result, was easy... now, doing what my doctor tells me to do... and fighting this emotional and physical war between my mind and my body... that's the hardest part of all of this! Thanks again for your support and yes, I will call on you and others to help me. I know I'm not alone in this.

Jessy

[marys 2]

Jessy - i see so much of myself in you - especially the desire to eat those wonderful carbs - even after all this time being banded I still try - not too often and very carefully but I have learned I am a stubborn hard headed woman - most people here seem to have given up so many foods and I understand but i want to eat everything - just in small amounts!

- I try to eat starchy carbs like Condiments now - maybe a slice of toast or 1/2 grilled cheese sandwhich (never white bread) maybe a few crackers, melba toast, a little rice works for me, Pasta is not a problem - again i only eat a small small portion and after my main Protein. And, by the way my nutritionist said it is perfectly ok to eat those carbs if you can and watch the portions.

Banding is such a learning process and i just want to encourage you to be patient with yourself. Every day I am amazed at the changes I am making - my overeating and bad relationship with food and my body just isn't going to go away quickly. If I don't think about it - I take too much food, eat too fast - etc. nothing or not much is really automatic and that is why I got the band.

I also think you might be too tight - many live like that but think hard if that is working for you and maybe get a little out. Since my last unfill I can eat three meals of solids a day - sometimes Breakfast is still tough but I actually lost two pounds since that unfill and I never lose weight. Plus if I'd rather eat than not -

No matter what eventually the band can't do it all so learning how to chose wisely, stop when satisifed etc is better than living on liquids (in my opinon).

hang in there - you are not alone.

[JessyInSD 0]

Thank you Mary... I do think I am too tight as well. I don't think it's helping that I'm irritating my stoma/esophagus by PB'ing nearly every day either. I've decided that I'm going to keep the fill as is and go one week on a combination of slimfast, Atkins and other low carb shakes to give my body a rest. Who knows... I might loosen up just by doing that?

I'll keep you posted. Thanks for your encouragement. It's exactly what I needed to hear.

Jessy

[lapband4meNOW 0]

Hey guys.

I talked with my doctor. I have decided to go ahead and get the fill, especially after what Kat said. I want to have more control. I don't want it to be too tight though. So, I guess it will be a matter of just figuring out what is best for me..for the fill. Now that I really understand what everyone means by restriction....no longer being hungry, getting full on smaller amounts faster, etc...I know I need this. I have been eating more and more each day. I am starting to see my old patterns creep up and it scares the hell out of me.

I am able to eat whatever I want with no problems now. I am confident that having the 'right' fill will allow me to continue eating the foods I enjoy (at least most), but get me more of a sense of control.

They are willing to fill me now, but I have a business trip for the next couple of weeks and I certainly don't want to be having problems from a too tight band while traveling. So I am going to wait until I get back.

You guys are so great to have here. Everyone is awesome!

Jessy, I too, struggle with head hunger. I am trying to become aware of when I am really hungry and when it is just a craving. Right now, I am eating more from head hunger and I have to constantly fight myself to not eat this or that. Then if I give in and eat, I feel completely guilty and feel like a failure. I think I won't EVER lose the weight. That the band won't work for me. Now, I am trying to rethink all that. Change my self talk to positive words. I hope after I get the fill I will have that sense of more control.