What did you tell people?!?!?

[LeahJade 26]

Depends on how you want to play it.... 1) The combative method - walk into the directors' office and tell them' date=' 'any more speculation in front of the whole office about my personal medical business and I'll have you before a tribunal quicker than your legs can carry you (not very good for the career prospects, but fundamentally, they are in the wrong on many levels.) 2) The jokey method - Say in front of all the staff 'Oh, yeah, about my surgery, I'd just like to announce that I'm having a brain transplant. Reason? The medical community cannot believe I actually work here!'. Any follow up, smile and say 'with the greatest of respect, it really is none of your business.' 3) Ignore them entirely. They'll get bored of the speculation eventually. 4) Ham it up. Wait until some bozo chooses an inopportune and public moment to make a direct enquiry - promptly run away crying. They'll be scared shiteless that they've said something terribly wrong and after initial attempts at saying 'there there', will leave it be and probably avoid enquiring again like the plague. Best of luck! [/quote']. Haha love it !

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I don't get all of the secrecy AT ALL! I told everybody and their brother; neighbors, colleagues, especially my supervisors! I started talking about it from the very beginning of the process, and educated everyone over the months-long process. The result is that my entire community is informed, rooting for me, checking on me, and celebrating me!!

I think a burning need to keep it a secret is a throwback to feelings of shame about who you are. I'm done with that nonsense!

I disagree with you completely. I find it quite offensive that several people here find my desire to keep my decision private reflective of "shame", see it as a "lie", say that I am "hiding", etc.

My decision to have WLS surgery was a very personal one. I was not defined by my fat before and I will NOT be defined my my surgery now. I do not feel like discussing my weight loss, my diet, my restrictions, the process, etc. with everyone who is curious, who just doesn't understand, who knows someone who had it, who has a mother/brother/bff/cousin's neighbor's girlfriend's cat's vet who is thinking about it, etc. I don't feel that I need to be the topic of every conversation about dieting nor do I want to be watched under a microscope just because I've done something that people do not understand nor are familiar with.

I've told the people who need to know, I've told the people who I want to know and I've told a few random people who I thought would be helped by the information. I feel no need to tell anyone else, any more than I feel the need to shout to the world that I am on my period, that I pooped all over the delivery table with my second child, that my left boob is a half a size bigger than my right, etc. It's MY body and I will not allow those of you who decide to tell your story to the world make me feel bad about choosing not to.

[StarryNight 20]

Hear hear, LipstickLady! Totally agreed.

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

I, personally, have never wanted to be looked at/pitied/observed/cross-examined/analysed/evaluated/held up as some sort of bariatric circus freak or wheeled out as the novel conversation topic du jour (however 'well' intentioned). Which is why, only two people in my world know what I've done - my fiance and I.

My sparkling personality <coughs> is enough to raise peoples interests levels in me, all by itself. I, personally, do not need a badge that says 'I am now officially 'interesting', because I've mutilated my body, of which I now offer up to you all as part of my identity for your consumption, titillating dissection and ultimate judgement.'

Its everyones own path to choose. As LV says, there's no right or wrong approach - each to their own. If you need to talk about it with people in your sphere - then that's cool and i totally understand it. As for spreading it to the four winds? Hell no.

I'm pretty good at keeping my own counsel and will subsequently keep it that way.

[LeahJade 26]

I disagree with you completely. I find it quite offensive that several people here find my desire to keep my decision private reflective of "shame"' date=' see it as a "lie", say that I am "hiding", etc. My decision to have WLS surgery was a very personal one. I was not defined by my fat before and I will NOT be defined my my surgery now. I do not feel like discussing my weight loss, my diet, my restrictions, the process, etc. with everyone who is curious, who just doesn't understand, who knows someone who had it, who has a mother/brother/bff/cousin's neighbor's girlfriend's cat's vet who is thinking about it, etc. I don't feel that I need to be the topic of every conversation about dieting nor do I want to be watched under a microscope just because I've done something that people do not understand nor are familiar with. I've told the people who need to know, I've told the people who I want to know and I've told a few random people who I thought would be helped by the information. I feel no need to tell anyone else, any more than I feel the need to shout to the world that I am on my period, that I pooped all over the delivery table with my second child, that my left boob is a half a size bigger than my right, etc. It's MY body and I will not allow those of you who decide to tell your story to the world make me feel bad about choosing not to.[/quote'] well said!

[7 Bites_Jen 479]

I do want to clarify something - I've said that I don't agree with lying about it - and I don't. Out right LYING can cause problems down the road.

Now, if you chose to not tell people the whole truth, or to just flat out not tell people, of course that is not the same. NOT telling is not the same as lying - I just wanted to clarify that

[outwithbenjiboi 227]

I don't care one way or the other if anyone tells or not. After hearing about some of the people ya'll work with, I wouldn't want to talk to them either!

I guess it just depends on one's personality and circumstances.

Circumstances-wise: I have wonderful colleagues at work, and we all support each other with personal challenges. Several of my colleagues are overweight and walk together at lunch; we have a health/fitness directorate at work with a bariatric nutritionist on campus; we have an annual "Portion Off the Pounds" program and everyone in the CLASS shares their eating habits/goals; we have three gyms -- all free.

Personality-wise: I was married to an abusive alcoholic for nearly 20 years. On top of that, I was GAY the whole time! With the help of therapy and Al-Anon, I came to see all of the secrets I'd been spinning/holding as TOXIC to me and my growth. So I started a personal policy of 100 percent honesty.

Now, I'm very frank and open with everyone with whom I have ANY type of relationship; work, neighbor, family, volunteer, kids' friends, etc. My feeling now is: if they don't get it, I'm willing to invest the time in educating them about alcholism, domestic violence, equal rights, and -- yes -- bariatric surgery! If they're not interested in either learning something new about the world or about me, of if they just can't "stomach" it, fine. But if they are, then I've done some good in the world, expanded my circle of support, and opened someone's mind.

All of those benefits are worth whatever risks I face. I am 100 percent me, honest, transparent and accountable 100 percent of the time. It's only made my life better and better and better. No "privacy?" NO PROBLEM! And no, I'm not stupid about cybersecurity/information security. In fact, it's part of my professional industry.

BTW, I work for the Department of Defense with military officers from the Joint services and from all over the world, and I'm often the FIRST out gay person they've ever met. I get a lot of appreciation -- and a lot of disclosures from others! -- in response to my visibility.

I'm sorry about my "shame" comment earlier. Obviously, that's not the case with everyone (although I'm sure it IS the case with some). But I never again want to live in fear of the risks of sharing ANYTHING about myself that's important to me. If I worked somewhere that imposed that risk, or had relationships with people who imposed that risk -- I wouldn't for long.

[ReDbEaN 654]

^^well said

[gavette 5]

I will continue to use my Vitamins and profit shakes etc. I was doing good until my body stopped breaking down carbs!!!!! My Dr. Stated all my healthy eating is easily sabotaged by something as small as a bowl of cereal......so I'm turning to the sleeve for a jump start!!!!

[Butterthebean 8,146]

I will continue to use my Vitamins and profit shakes etc. I was doing good until my body stopped breaking down carbs!!!!! My Dr. Stated all my healthy eating is easily sabotaged by something as small as a bowl of cereal......so I'm turning to the sleeve for a jump start!!!!

Your body doesn't break down carbs? What does it do with them? **** them out?

[Seela 1,187]

I don't get all of the secrecy AT ALL! I told everybody and their brother; neighbors' date=' colleagues, especially my supervisors! I started talking about it from the very beginning of the process, and educated everyone over the months-long process. The result is that my entire community is informed, rooting for me, checking on me, and celebrating me!!

I think a burning need to keep it a secret is a throwback to feelings of shame about who you are. I'm done with that nonsense![/quote']

I'm with you. And if someone asks me something and I'm not in the mood to talk about it at that moment then I just say... don't want to talk about it right now. As I said before. . The secrets of being so heavy are much worse. .. not being able to sit in a booth, not fitting through an isle, etc...

[skikyd 165]

Tell thm Gall bladder removal if the ask you directly. No one understands the gall bladder.

[Seela 1,187]

Here's a novel idea.. instead of lying why not just tell them it's none of their damn business!

[kmbrcvzs 23]

I guess I am very blessed to work in an environment that is supportive. I was honest from the beginning with co workers and friends and I haven't had any problems. I even decided to put it on Facebook and share with them. I didn't want people gossiping or making up there own versions so I just put it out there. I have had tons of well wishes and support. When you start losing weight they are going to put it together and then you will just be a liar.

[WJE626 4]

I am also very lucky. My coworkers in my dept are very supportive. I did not tell others until after surgery only because I was supposed to have surgery once before and it fell through