What did you tell people?!?!?

[AmandaRaeLeo 2,146]

No. I'm not missing your point. I get what you're saying; I just don't agree with it. I generally try to assume the best about people and see the best in people. So' date=' I don't think that anyone here is trying to be offensive. I just think that people don't realize it is offensive. I also do not assume that people who ask me about my weight loss are motivated by something negative - cattiness, jealousy, etc. I assume that they are simply asking because they are curious. Therefore, I see no reason to respond to them in a "none of your business" manner that may be seen as curt, unnecessary, or unkind - even if it is true. The three (truth, necessity, and kindness) are often conflict and in that moment I choose to be kind. I offer a simple explanation that puts an end to the conversation without hurting anyone's feelings. I have not given power to anyone. Answering a person in the manner that you suggest would be giving up my power because it would allow them to illicit a response from me that is neither something that I am comfortable with or true to my values as a person. You are entitled to respond in a way that is in line with your personality and values but others should be free to do the same without all of the criticism of who they are as a person.[/quote']

I do not agree that honesty and kindness are mutually exclusive.

Edited October 21, 2013 by AmandaRaeLeo

[No game 14,437]

Ok I've had a long gluttonous weekend and my mood is foul...

First off this argument is as old as the hills around here. So played out I can't believe I'm responding.

Second, there is nothing wrong in either way..

Third, if you lose the weight then try to sell profit mislead, like selling weight loss pills, wraps, or a gyms before and after THEN ITS LYING!

Fourth? Who gives a flying f**k..

Ok told you I was foul...

Red wine, moonshine and cupcakes don't mix 0_0

[erp 2,016]

I told my immediate supervisor at the time that I was having hernia surgery (I was diagnosed with a hiatal hernia pre-op). The reason I did not say VSG is because I knew he would blab and he did. My point is I know my workplace as you know yours. Say whatever makes you comfortable and leave it at that.

[1gorgeousgodzilla 192]

Ok I've had a long gluttonous weekend and my mood is foul...

First off this argument is as old as the hills around here. So played out I can't believe I'm responding.

Second' date=' there is nothing wrong in either way..

Third, if you lose the weight then try to sell profit mislead, like selling weight loss pills, wraps, or a gyms before and after THEN ITS LYING!

Fourth? Who gives a flying f**k..

Ok told you I was foul...

Red wine, moonshine and cupcakes don't mix 0_0[/quote']

. . . And that is why I LOVE LAURA-VEN!!!

[Fixerupper 335]

I saw a quote in my daughter's school this weekend: "The kindest word in all the world is the unkind word, unsaid". That being said, I am tired too, PMSing, and in another damned three week stall so I may be slightly iritable. Honesty and kindness are not always mutually exclusive; they just don't always fit together neatly. I totally agree with you Laura (as I often do). To each their own. And certainly, anyone trying to profit by lying or omission is just plain wrong. I have no desire to argue with anyone - just to inform people that may not intend to be offensive that it is. If the intent is to offend or people don't care - they should feel free to offend away. If the intent is not to offend or they do care - perhaps they may want to rethink the language used. I have no idea why this thing is underlining everything I say but I can't make it stop!!!

[AmandaRaeLeo 2,146]

Ok I've had a long gluttonous weekend and my mood is foul... First off this argument is as old as the hills around here. So played out I can't believe I'm responding. Second' date=' there is nothing wrong in either way.. Third, if you lose the weight then try to sell profit mislead, like selling weight loss pills, wraps, or a gyms before and after THEN ITS LYING! Fourth? Who gives a flying f**k.. Ok told you I was foul... Red wine, moonshine and cupcakes don't mix 0_0[/quote']

:-P

[ReDbEaN 654]

Ok I've had a long gluttonous weekend and my mood is foul... First off this argument is as old as the hills around here. So played out I can't believe I'm responding. Second' date=' there is nothing wrong in either way.. Third, if you lose the weight then try to sell profit mislead, like selling weight loss pills, wraps, or a gyms before and after THEN ITS LYING! Fourth? Who gives a flying f**k.. Ok told you I was foul... Red wine, moonshine and cupcakes don't mix 0_0[/quote']

You're Just being honest, Laura!! and stay away from that deadly combo!! ;-P

[SeaLegs 38]

Initially I told my Mom, Dad, and Sister. I come from a family of lawyers so they all went immediately into protective mode. My sister wanted the name of the anesthesiologist so that she could access her law enforcement database and run a background check on him. My mother wanted to fly in to meet with the doctor and both my parents wanted to look into whether he had been sued before. I didn't need all that anxiety and stress so I told them I changed my mind. I told them three months post-op that I had the surgery.

Off-topic, but your family of lawyers cracks me up and I love how you handled them!

[Fixerupper 335]

Off-topic, but your family of lawyers cracks me up and I love how you handled them!

LOL. I'm one and married to one too! You cannot imagine the maneuvering involved in regular family business!

[Fixerupper 335]

I told the truth.

I refuse to give people any power over me by feeling I have to lie and hide.

If you really don't want anyone to know then choose silence. I do not advocate lies or misleading people. If one of your asinine directors gets nosey then freeze them with a frosty glare and say its a private matter.

Guess what. People will gossip with or without fuel. When you lie, you are apart of it to some extent.

Just my 2 cents.

Okay. So I wanted to take another look at this and make sure my PMS wasn't getting the best of me. Evidently it is. Amanda Rae, I don't really think we are disagreeing or arguing about anything. I agree with almost everything you said. As Laura ven said, there have been a number of these threads running the last few days and the shame issue keeps coming up. That is all I was responding to and not your post in particular. As I look at this thread again, based upon what the OP said, the people in her workplace seem deserving of whatever sarcasm or icy glare she chooses to give them. They sound like a bunch of aholes.

[gmanbat 5,889]

Ok I've had a long gluttonous weekend and my mood is foul...

First off this argument is as old as the hills around here. So played out I can't believe I'm responding.

Second, there is nothing wrong in either way..

Third, if you lose the weight then try to sell profit mislead, like selling weight loss pills, wraps, or a gyms before and after THEN ITS LYING!

Fourth? Who gives a flying f**k..

Ok told you I was foul...

Red wine, moonshine and cupcakes don't mix 0_0

So you consider my e-book "How to Lose 120 Pounds in a Year Chanting Monty Python Quotes" unethical?

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

(Dropped another ounce there)

Edited October 21, 2013 by gmanbat

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

Depends on how you want to play it....

1) The combative method - walk into the directors' office and tell them, 'any more speculation in front of the whole office about my personal medical business and I'll have you before a tribunal quicker than your legs can carry you (not very good for the career prospects, but fundamentally, they are in the wrong on many levels.)

2) The jokey method - Say in front of all the staff 'Oh, yeah, about my surgery, I'd just like to announce that I'm having a brain transplant. Reason? The medical community cannot believe I actually work here!'. Any follow up, smile and say 'with the greatest of respect, it really is none of your business.'

3) Ignore them entirely. They'll get bored of the speculation eventually.

4) Ham it up. Wait until some bozo chooses an inopportune and public moment to make a direct enquiry - promptly run away crying. They'll be scared shiteless that they've said something terribly wrong and after initial attempts at saying 'there there', will leave it be and probably avoid enquiring again like the plague.

Best of luck!

[ReDbEaN 654]

Depends on how you want to play it.... 1) The combative method - walk into the directors' office and tell them' date=' 'any more speculation in front of the whole office about my personal medical business and I'll have you before a tribunal quicker than your legs can carry you (not very good for the career prospects, but fundamentally, they are in the wrong on many levels.) 2) The jokey method - Say in front of all the staff 'Oh, yeah, about my surgery, I'd just like to announce that I'm having a brain transplant. Reason? The medical community cannot believe I actually work here!'. Any follow up, smile and say 'with the greatest of respect, it really is none of your business.' 3) Ignore them entirely. They'll get bored of the speculation eventually. 4) Ham it up. Wait until some bozo chooses an inopportune and public moment to make a direct enquiry - promptly run away crying. They'll be scared shiteless that they've said something terribly wrong and after initial attempts at saying 'there there', will leave it be and probably avoid enquiring again like the plague. Best of luck! [/quote']

Madam, you ALWAYS MAKE ME LAUGH!!

[Recycled 2,182]

You can only be hurt if you allow someone to get to you. We all know we are fat and we want not to be.........No mystery there. So preempt the insults by openly stating to any that should ask, how your are merely doing what you need to do to get healthy. If they persist, just add "At least there is something available to help me with my shortcomings, unlike you".

[gmanbat 5,889]

You can only be hurt if you allow someone to get to you. We all know we are fat and we want not to be.........No mystery there. So preempt the insults by openly stating to any that should ask, how your are merely doing what you need to do to get healthy. If they persist, just add "At least there is something available to help me with my shortcomings, unlike you".

Good point. Fat is easier by far to deal with than compacted bowels of compassion.