spouse

[DiamondJewelz 8]

Need help my spouse is not being very supportive. I feel like I am alone in this I have cried every day since I got my surgery date. Not because of the surgery just the feeling of being alone during the process. I am not turning back because I want to be a healthier person for me! Does anyone else have this problem with their spouse or significant other. Note: he has made comments about me getting "skinny" and leaving him. Why do I want to do this to my body. Also when I first told him that I had my date he responded with am I going to have to take off of work. My response was NO! #SLEEVELESSINTX

[ljperez 87]

He is scared. I went alone to the hospital I was fine. I had the same problem. I didn't even want him to visit me because I didn't want to hear anything. I even had my mom pick me up from the hospital . But he did come and see me everyday and he was there when I was discharged with my mom. It's tough for them too. He wasn't very supportive and my kids were scared. I think he was afraid too. Just do it for yourself you have to make the change for you. I'm learning this now. Focus on you, it's hard but try. I hope it all works out and do it do it do it.

[Teachamy 1,042]

My husband is afraid too. Luckily (or unluckily?) for me, I have some concrete health issues I can point to--I think it helps men wrap their minds around this stuff.

1. I am diabetic and want my A1Cs perfect, for once in my life.

2. High cholesterol, high BP, and sleep apnea will all be improved when I lose weight.

3. I have a weird autoimmune disease that causes my body to attack various organs in my body. It is often thought these attacks are mounted by gut hormones, and that losing weight may improve my body's inflammatory response. I figure it's worth a try...

Good luck to you. If you can break it down for your husband, it might help. I hope it does!

[LittleLou 31]

So, my husband is supportive, however I can see how me wanting this surgery could influence his insecurities. Although I am doing this for my health, the first thought people have when they hear WLS is that it is purely for vanity reasons. Your husband is then left to think, why now? Why does my wife want to lose weight? Does she want to leave me? Does she want attention?

Randomly, one day my husband came home and told me he wanted to get his "peter" pierced. I told him absolutely not, and then I started wondering. If I have no interest in him doing that, why would he want it? To show other women? To please other women?

You see, different circumstances but the same insecurities come up. i would NOT support the piercing and would not go with him to get it done, even if the reason was purely because it would make him feel good.

I would just try to make your SO understand the reasons you want WLS, and be patient and understanding with him. This is not easy for them either.

[hopeliveshere 294]

^{My boyfriend is the same way. always makes comments that im gonna leave once i look good. I say oh so i dont look good now lol. Seriously i try to explain to him though that i am still going to be the same person just healthier and more confident. But he knows that i dont want him coming to the hospital with me. all he does is stress me out and bust my balls, id rather be alone.}

[juliansmommy 67]

Once I screamed and yelled an told mine it was purely for health reasons and looking good was a bonus he became more supportive! Good luck. It's common!!

[PGee 318]

My husband was not supportive--don't get me wrong, he wanted me to lose weight and become healthier and grow old together......and he wanted his small wife back......for him it wasn't a matter of insecurities......he just didn't approve of surgery.....now he sings a different tune.

His attitude started to change after going with me to that initial seminar with the surgeon......I think it was when the surgeon said most diets have a 95% failure rate.......afterwards he became more involved/interested, and most importantly supportive.

I'm thankful I didn't have comorbidities at my age with the high BMI.....but it was just a matter of time before I had a mountain of health issues (that may bring your spouse around, too, if you touch on the health problems you'll have if you don't lose the weight)......I hope he comes around and will support you......good luck

[Harris1❤ 28]

My man was acting out because he didn't want me to have the surgery and he still stuck by me...Now that the surgery is over as of last week he has his days of really just getn on my freaking nerves about my surgery! This surgery is about me and he keep getting that confused!! Good luck because my man is really acting out smh