New - Scared - Confused

[xo739 0]

Hi all. I am new to this lap band thing, I still have three months before I can have the actual operation because of my insurance. I am twenty years old and weigh 307. I am having a hard time deciding whether or not to have this surgery. I've tried to lose weight in the past and failed miserably. However, my ex keeps putting me down for having this done. I feel like everyone will think that I took the easy way out - but they don't understand how hard I have tried. Granted, I am only 20 years old but I've been heavy my entire life and tried to lose weight my entire life - just to gain it back.

I'm not sure where I am going with this, but feedback would be appreciated.

-Danielle:help:

[5jacks 0]

You're in the right place! Just keep looking around, you should find all the answers you need. If you don't, just ask! Everything you've said could have come from my mouth. Now I'm 38, had the surgery on Jan. 18, 2007 and wish I could of done it years ago. No matter how hard I tried IF it came off it just came back on. I've already lost over 30 pounds in approx. 2 months, and it's been fairly easy!! We all know how to diet, which foods we're supposed to be eating, the band just makes it easier to diet. When I eat now, it's slow and thought out...not junk, just good healthy food. I've only had one fill so not a lot of restriction but must be some or I would have eaten my computer by now!!!! Good luck, this is your decision and yours alone....do your research and then make the choice that's best for you. Good luck!

[kebsa 1]

HI Danielle

Its natural to have doubts, it is a big decision- for me it was the right one. Ask any questions you need to and remember that you will get both positive and negative answers so remember to do some research v pubmed or similar as well.

As for non supportive ex and the judgement of others, the band can be an effective tool but it is only part of losing the weight- it is not a miracle and is most certainly not the easy way out. No one has the right to judge you until they have walked a mile in your shoes. They should be glad that you are trying to take control of a difficult situation even if they don't agree with your choice personally. Some people can feel threatened by your choice to make positive changes to your life too, others will comment out of fear and ignorance. For all these reasons and more, many bandsters chose not to tell others that they have had this surgery, at least unitl further down the track. My approach was to do all the research i needed to and not to hide the fact I was being banded- it was not something that was up for discussion. I kept any doubts I had to one or 2 most trusted friends and got them to go through the lap band info with me. the pre op support group meetings are great too, because you can talk directly to people who understand your fears, take your partner along too- it may change his attitude.

[lisah25 3]

Hi all. I am new to this lap band thing, I still have three months before I can have the actual operation because of my insurance. I am twenty years old and weigh 307. I am having a hard time deciding whether or not to have this surgery. I've tried to lose weight in the past and failed miserably. However, my ex keeps putting me down for having this done. I feel like everyone will think that I took the easy way out - but they don't understand how hard I have tried. Granted, I am only 20 years old but I've been heavy my entire life and tried to lose weight my entire life - just to gain it back.

I'm not sure where I am going with this, but feedback would be appreciated.

-Danielle:help:

I think doing it now, and avoiding many more years of being obese, would be wonderful. I wish I could have some years back.

Don't worry about what other people think. This is not an easy way out, just a way that actually works. We start by deciding to have surgery. We research and pick a surgeon. Do all the pre-op testing and diet they may require. Have major surgery. Recover from it. I was on liquids for 2 weeks, mushie foods for 2 more weeks. Now, I have to think about what I choose to eat. I have to make healthy and band-friendly choices. I have to get my butt moving. Sound like an easy thing?

Would we tell someone who got a pacemaker that they should have just worked harder to keep their heart healthy?

[court4short 0]

Don't let anyone tell you what to do or not to do, based on their opinions. You're lucky to have realized at such a young age that you want to take control of your situation and change things for the better.

I'm 21 and I've started looking into the lapband procedure. So, you aren't alone. If you need to talk - with someone around the same age anyway, feel free to send an email my way!

Court.225 @ gmail.com

[nataliec 0]

Since he is your ex, I think that disqualifies him from getting a vote. Do what you need to do to make yourself happy and healthy and leave behind those who would have you settle for otherwise. Learn this at 20, and save yourself a lot of distress in your life.:hug:

[musicalmomma 1]

Hi Danielle I'm in the waiting process too. I've been heavy all my life too! My very own mother tells me "I hate to see you taking the easy way out". She means to be supportive and thinks it's merely a matter of self discipline. It took me three years of serious consideration before deciding to take this route. I finally had to stop listening to my mother and anyone else that would stand in my way. No one knows how hard this is unless they've walked in a fat prison for years. This is not the easy way out. It's merely a tool. It will not fix your psychological dependance on food. That is something you'll have to work on for yourself, or even through counselling, OA, a support group, or something that that helps with finding constructive ways to cope when the cravings hit.

Now, this is JUST me, but I would not have been emotionally ready or mature enough to have been banded at 20 and I was married with a baby at that time! I know I would have found ways to "out eat" the band, because I hadn't dealt with my emotional attachement to food. HECK, I'm still working on that one...gained a lot of ground, but I don't know if I'll ever be totally free from wanting to use food as a crutch. I'm only stating all of this to give you some food for thought. I am in no way discouraging you from doing this...only want you to make the most informed decision. Research is very important...but equally important is to be sure this is the right decision at the right time.

Keep us posted and best wishes

[swilborn 0]

"Easy way out" my tail feathers. Sister, there is nothing easy about it. You have to maintain, watch what you eat, look at the ol' foods you love become the enemy(work through the pych things). It's life changing thing. But, at the end of the day you will have taken a very brave step to getting yourself healthy. I've heard people say,"you only lost weight because you got the band." Heck Yea! And I made a choice to change my life. I'm proud- I'm banded. Your 20 that's great. Alot of us, lost out alot on life because we sat around and didn't make the hard choices. Go for it. And he is an EX. who cares what he thinks. Get healthy and have fun finding the next EX.

48lbs. lost

[ReneBean 3]

Dani

Don't let your "ex" stop you from doing what you think is right. There is probably a reason that person is your "EX" - so certainly I would assume that there might be some weird underlying issues with this person.

The Ex may feel the need to put you down. Ignore it and move on.

Oh - and there is NO easy way. You are just using all the tools available to help you in your weightloss journey. If you have already experienced the YoYo effect, then you know that losing the weight isn't the big problem - it's maintaining and keeping the weight off... it's surviving plateaus without back-sliding. That is what the band is designed for.

F* 'em if they can't take a joke... It's your life, your body, your decision. What would you say to the "ex" if doubts were expressed about you getting a pace-maker? An insulin pump? You would tell everybody what they could do with negative opinions - and you should do the same about the Band. Obesity causes just as many deaths as heart disease or diabetes... why shouldn't we have an aide to help us?

You never have to be alone - you have us.

Hugs!

[ReneBean 3]

"Easy way out" ... I've heard people say,"you only lost weight because you got the band." Heck Yea!

I believe that is is the perfect example of the end justifying the means. I know for SURE that I only lost weight because I got the band. AND?!?! I lost the weight and I am still losing the weight. Is there some great virtue is struggling? I call Bullshit. I am doing what I have to do to try and better my health. If I got the band to do it - SO WHAT.

Good Luck to All!

[Betsyjane 2]

Danielle: I think we've all been where you are. Somehow, the TV tells us all we need to do is diet and exercise and we'll be fine, and otherwise we're lazy. That's just bigoted ignorance. Morbid obesity is a complex thing, unlike a thin person trying to lose 10 pounds! But we've been blamed and we blame ourselves. The kind of person you want to hang around from this day forward in your life is the person who cheers you on. that's all. People either enhance you or deplete you, so go with the enhancers. When I told my hubby that I'd be writing a check for $15000 out of our now mostly depleted savings, and I told him what for, he said that some people go on for the rest of their lives not facing big problems and doing whatever it takes, and that he was proud of me for going for it! (After he picked his jaw up off the ground about the money...)

And as far as it being easy, let me tell you all it did for me was to make the Impossible into just Hard Work! And that's enough for me.

Yoyo dieting for the next 40 years and THEN getting banded is stooopid. Hi---call me stooooooopid. But at 20, you probably still want to please everybody, right? Just hang around us old crusty souls. We'll be your cheerleaders. Everybody else can either support you or jump off a cliff.

[lynne leck 0]

When people say that having a lap band fitted is the easy way out i want to scream. How the hell do they know if they haven't had one fitted they cannot comment. Lets think is it the easy option ?

1 We have to consent to surgery , and are told at consultation about all the risks, really easy choice

2 We have to recover from surgery and yes we all like pain, discomfort , i found it difficult to sleep so fatigue sets in ,but i still had a family to look after , then theres only been able to fluids in my case for four weeks oh yes really easy , dont think so .

3 The fact that this band changes our life from the moment its fitted , if we found dieting hard , i believe we have a challenge now banded .

4 once banded we have to be good to our band and not abuse it cause problems can occur , wonder if the people who say we take the easy way out still think we do after reading this.

I choose to banded in the uk 6 weeks ago it was a decision i had thought about for 18 months i started saving for the procedure at the same time. My surgery cost me £8500 which includes 5 consultant appointment post op, all fills and defills and monthly dietician appointments.

My advice to other contemplating been banded ,think about it research it

ask yourself why you want it , and the only person you should be doing it for is yourself .

I have had negative comments like , "i must be mad" , "must have money to burn" , the best was, "you have such a pretty face" i did not know having a pretty face was a excuse for been fat. Having a pretty face would not stop my knees aching my back feeling like its about to break by the end of a shift at work, it would not stop me from getting diabetes or high blood pressure.

xo739 dont listen to your ex if its what you want to do go do it girl ,its him whose got a problem not you, wishing you all the best on your journey ahead of , good luck

[marys 2]

Dont listen to others - listen to yourself first and then maybe maybe one or two of your closest and dearest to you. Don't tell anyone else - it is no one's business but your own. the lapband is certainly not the easy way out but too many others (ignorant) will feel that way. This is your life, your decision, your risk and ultimately your rewards will follow. I wish I had addressed 'this problem' when i was 20 years younger - believe me it will not necessarily change or get easier. With that all said - study, research, mediate on all you learn and follow your heart. Let no one else sway you once you have decided.

[nurseratchett 0]

Just a word from someone who is 59 yrs old and tried every diet and excercise program 3xs or more. I always thought I would be able to do it on my own..... Well It just did not happen. Now my joints are gone ! I must have a hip replacement as soon as I lose enough weight so I can make a good recovery.I'm trying to lose 50 pounds w/o being able to do any kind of arobic excercise because of my hip. I also weighed 300 plus pounds for most of my adult life.I say have the surgery while you are young it will be so much easier.Be glad you insurance will pay for it as many of us had to pay our own.

I say don't put it off. It is far from the easy way out. The Band is only a tool to HELP you lose weight. I do not consider having any kind of surgery "The Easy Way Out."

Good Luck On your Decision !

Joanne

[anniegs 0]

hi danielle - I'm just about to have my surgery on march 6th .. and I haven't told anyone!! well I eventually had to tell some close friends that I was having surgery for 'women's problems' because I needed help with looking after my 8 year old. I told my work that also but there is no law that they need to know what my operation is for and my doctor will give me a 'sick note' (a uk phrase). I just can't stand the idea of people being in judgement of me, having had such low self esteem for a long time.. I can't bear anyone even my family to know what I'm doing. I don't know how I'll carry it off to be honest, and hopefully i'll be foccused enough to get on with it. I'm freaking out here as it is so close now!

annie