Hey Y'all - New Here - Insurance approved today!

[SkinnyScarlett 57]

Hey Y'all!

I've been lurking around here for a couple of weeks and decided to join your forum so that I can learn even more about the gastric sleeve procedure, ups and downs, lifestyle changes, successes and setbacks as well as possibly make a few friends.

I'm 52 years old and have been overweight since early childhood. At the earliest, I can remember being overweight at 5 years of age. I was raised in a "clean your plate there are children starving somewhere" household with three brothers and no adult supervision after school (both parents worked full time). I will say that there were things in my childhood that, I realize now after years of therapy, caused me to turn to and focus on food, binging and secret eating. I can remember doing that as early as 9 years of age. So, obviously, an intricate and intimate relationship with food has overwhelmingly contributed to my physical appearance and emotional carnage.

With that said, I have been tempted to consider WLS previously, but I would not let myself consider "failing" at other weight loss attempts. I have just complete 1 year and 8 months of Weight Watchers. I lost a total of 14 pounds and gained it back over that timeframe. i have tried Medical Weight Loss Center, Meridia, PhenFen, Byetta (I am type 2 diabetic), Atkins and good old fashioned calorie counting just to name a few. I lost the most with Atkins - 75 pounds. I have gained 45 of that back. My current weight is 297.4 as of this morning. My highest was 320 about 6 years ago. I have since fluctuated between 274 and 300. My lowest adult weight was 247 for a day.

I'm not afraid of exercise. As a matter of fact, even at my weight, I have completed 2 half marathons, multiple 5Ks and a couple of 10ks. Granted I did a walk/run combination and, most of the time, finished last in my age group, but I finished every one I started. It was always such a sense of accomplishment to cross that finish line. I miss that feeling and look forward to seeing it again.

I am a successful IT executive and am very confident in my professional abilities. However, the doubt creeps in when it comes to weight loss and, more recently, the consideration of surgery as a weight loss tool. Will I be successful? Will I hit my goals? Will I have any complications? Will I be able to give up my Diet Mountain Dew each morning? Will I be able to resist the temptation of eating just because it tastes good? Can I successfully handle the skewed new portion size? What will I do with my new body? What will I think of myself? Will I believe in myself as I look in the mirror and see someone entirely new? How will I cook regular meals for my husband and just a couple of ounces of something for me? Will I mourn food? Will I miss eating the way I have for so long? Shall I have a food funeral - bury my favorite foods and give them last rites?

On the other hand, I think if things that I want to do and will be able to do - shopping in regular clothing stores, kayaking, hiking, dancing, doing another half marathon faster, being able to qualify for a full marathon (finish within the required time), maybe even a triathlon, getting my ring rezised, surprising family and friends that I only see once a year, seeing my clavicles when I look in the mirror, getting links taken out of my watch and Bracelet, wearing an anklet, not fearing the seatbelt on the plane won't fit, not looking around in a meeting and telling myself that I am the largest person here - ah - FREEDOM from negative thinking!

I'm fearful for the physical aspects of surgery. I've had my thyroid removed but, that wasn't my choice - it had to be done. This surgery is my choice. Like others, I fear not waking up from surgery. But, as my sweet husband reminds me, the risks of surgery are less than the risk of continued morbid obesity and the negative impact it has on longevity. I just have to keep telling myself that.

I hope to glean information from this forum to empower me to make comfortable, informed decisions and set realistic expectations and goals. I have an amazing husband who is incredibly supportive of this awakening. He is my best friend, my confident and my shoulder to lean on. He is with me, pardon the pun, through thick and thin!

I just learned today that I have been approved by my insurance - so - my surgey date is now set! Oh my stars, I am soooooooooooooooo nervous. I have a million butterflies in my tummy and am going between excited and nervous.

Here's to my new life - my journey into the unknown and the 'lighter' side of life (both weight and disposition).

My mantra - Life IS good. Enjoy and give thanks.

~Susan.

[Tbird49 66]

Congratulations on your approval it sounds like your mind is in the right place to take on this journey with us I just passed the 3 week post op date 20 lbs down , I wish I could say it's been all fun but it hasn't , the beginning liquid/ puréed food stages SUCK but remember that is all temp. My highest weight was 267 and I will be 50 in April I wanted to start living not existing .. So my new friend have faith and all will be well ... Cheers to your new healthier life

[Bronco0605 135]

Hey Susan,

I am Ann. Are you in Michigan? My surgery date is 11/19 overweight all my adult life and I am so nervous! i feel like I could have written your post! Hang in there! You are definitely not alone. where are you having your surgery? Who is your doctor?

[SkinnyScarlett 57]

Hey Ann,

Yes, I am in Michigan - the Lansing area. Are you in Michigan? I'm going to GHP in Grand Rapids. Dr. Foote is my surgeon. I'm like you - crazy nervous! I can't stop thinking about it. It's so good to know I am not alone on this emotional rollercoaster!

Take good care,

Susan.

[SkinnyScarlett 57]

Congratulations on your approval it sounds like your mind is in the right place to take on this journey with us I just passed the 3 week post op date 20 lbs down , I wish I could say it's been all fun but it hasn't , the beginning liquid/ puréed food stages SUCK but remember that is all temp. My highest weight was 267 and I will be 50 in April I wanted to start living not existing .. So my new friend have faith and all will be well ... Cheers to your new healthier life

Thank you so much, Tbird, for your encouragement and support! I love what you said - I want to start living and not existing! AMEN to that! It's so true! Good luck on your awesome journey to a new you, too! :-)

Take good care,

Susan.

[HoosierGirl 780]

Susan - Congrats on your approval! (Perhaps we can be friends even though you are a dreaded Michigan fan! Go Hoosiers! LOL!!)

In all seriousness, you are wise to be aware of the risks any surgery brings - and educated about the risks of this particular surgery. Like you, I tried and struggled with my weight my entire adult life. I would lose and then gain. Always on some diet. Sometimes a bit of success, but nothing lasting. My pre-surgery diet wasn't bad, just BIG.

After my sleeve, I have control in a way I never had before. While I do get hungry, the "good stuff" fills me up and keeps me full. The bad stuff doesn't taste that great anymore and makes me feel awful. Exercise is so much easier and is now fun because you can clearly see the results.

Do what your doc says, enjoy your supportive hubby and hang on for a crazy ride! The pre-surgery worry is the WORST part of all this - for me at least. Although I had a different surgeon, you are welcome to read my BLOG about the surgery and recovery. (As well as my pre-surgery craziness!) www.hoosierfatty.wordpress.com

Be sure to keep us updated as to how you are doing!

Hugs and good luck! Shelley

[DangerousD 77]

Congrats Skinny Scarlett on getting approved! That is half the battle. I too was approved today and am waiting to hear from my surgeon's office to see when I can get the operation.

Also, welcome to the forum. These are some very good people that are supportive and can get you some good information. Good luck on your journey!

[SkinnyScarlett 57]

[

Susan - Congrats on your approval! (Perhaps we can be friends even though you are a dreaded Michigan fan! Go Hoosiers! LOL!!)

In all seriousness, you are wise to be aware of the risks any surgery brings - and educated about the risks of this particular surgery. Like you, I tried and struggled with my weight my entire adult life. I would lose and then gain. Always on some diet. Sometimes a bit of success, but nothing lasting. My pre-surgery diet wasn't bad, just BIG.

After my sleeve, I have control in a way I never had before. While I do get hungry, the "good stuff" fills me up and keeps me full. The bad stuff doesn't taste that great anymore and makes me feel awful. Exercise is so much easier and is now fun because you can clearly see the results.

Do what your doc says, enjoy your supportive hubby and hang on for a crazy ride! The pre-surgery worry is the WORST part of all this - for me at least. Although I had a different surgeon, you are welcome to read my BLOG about the surgery and recovery. (As well as my pre-surgery craziness!) www.hoosierfatty.wordpress.com

Be sure to keep us updated as to how you are doing!

Hugs and good luck! Shelley

Thanks so much Shelley! and, YES, we can be friends! I'm a Michigan fan by marriage - my blood runs ORANGE (Vols) by birth! Yet, I will say no for the recored - GO BLUE!

I appreciate your insight and supportive words. It's starting to sink in more and I've prayed about it so I am feeling more calm today than when I first got the phone call to set a date. Now I'm just dealing with the paperwork to take off work. Fortunately I have plenty of sick leave to use.

I'll take a look at your blog - I'm so curious to read about your pre-op craziness!

Take care,

Susan.