Between a rock and a hard place

[Roo101769 742]

Things are really gearing up for my surgery on 10/21. I have my pre admission testing on Thursday and Monday is my EGD. My problem is two part..The main thing is my sitter. I have a daughter who is almost 5. During the day she goes to a sitter while I am at work. She has been with this lady since she was 6 weeks old and, honestly, my sitter is like family. That is why my daughter is supposed to stay with her while I am in the hospital having surgery, and a day or two after. Well here is my problem...My sitter has a sister who is in end stage of her battle with cancer. She is in Hospice care now and it is just a matter of time. My sitter needs to be with her family when the end comes, so she may have to go at a moments notice. Normally that would not be a huge issue, but with these major appointments coming up it really is. I do not have a large extended family. I do not have a back up sitter available and will have to scramble big time should the sister pass during the daytime. My only option is MY 94 year old grandma who has dementia, and let's face it- that is no option! I have already missed nearly two months work earlier this year due to health issues, and have been lucky they are ok'ing another week for surgery. I cannot take additional time because of no sitter! Plus, the way my PATs are scheduled Thursday it will take most of the day. ( Have to check in one hospital at 8:45 for gallbladder ultrasound, upper GI series, EKG, and blood work. Then have to go to a DIFFERENT hospital by 12:45 to attend a mandatory class until 3pm) Now the second part of my issue is my EGD next Monday. You are NOT allowed to drive yourself home as they administer propofol during the test. I have someone to give me a ride to the hospital, but my sitter's daughter was going to be my ride home. (this wasn't even a certainty) Well now, if her aunt passes away, I cannot be certain she will be available to give me the ride.

I am so close to the finish line and rescheduling is NOT an option. I am just a bit panicked about what is going to happen. I do feel great empathy for my sitter and the loss she is about to experience. I wish more than anything her sister wasn't ill and she didn't have to go through all of this. ( Her mother died earlier this year. That too caused a lot of disruption and scrambling to find someone to watch my child.) My sitter was actually one of the first people to discuss the possibility of me having bariatric surgery years ago, so she is supportive. It is just the fact my support network is extremely limited and when one person is unavailable, it creates a huge domino effect. Right now my mind is reeling trying to think of alternate possibilities, and not having much success. I could sure use some positive energy and thoughts right now. I am not doubting my path at all, just worried about how it will all come together.

[AtlantaRed 651]

Things are really gearing up for my surgery on 10/21. I have my pre admission testing on Thursday and Monday is my EGD. My problem is two part..The main thing is my sitter. I have a daughter who is almost 5. During the day she goes to a sitter while I am at work. She has been with this lady since she was 6 weeks old and' date=' honestly, my sitter is like family. That is why my daughter is supposed to stay with her while I am in the hospital having surgery, and a day or two after. Well here is my problem...My sitter has a sister who is in end stage of her battle with cancer. She is in Hospice care now and it is just a matter of time. My sitter needs to be with her family when the end comes, so she may have to go at a moments notice. Normally that would not be a huge issue, but with these major appointments coming up it really is. I do not have a large extended family. I do not have a back up sitter available and will have to scramble big time should the sister pass during the daytime. My only option is MY 94 year old grandma who has dementia, and let's face it- that is no option! I have already missed nearly two months work earlier this year due to health issues, and have been lucky they are ok'ing another week for surgery. I cannot take additional time because of no sitter! Plus, the way my PATs are scheduled Thursday it will take most of the day. ( Have to check in one hospital at 8:45 for gallbladder ultrasound, upper GI series, EKG, and blood work. Then have to go to a DIFFERENT hospital by 12:45 to attend a mandatory class until 3pm) Now the second part of my issue is my EGD next Monday. You are NOT allowed to drive yourself home as they administer propofol during the test. I have someone to give me a ride to the hospital, but my sitter's daughter was going to be my ride home. (this wasn't even a certainty) Well now, if her aunt passes away, I cannot be certain she will be available to give me the ride.

I am so close to the finish line and rescheduling is NOT an option. I am just a bit panicked about what is going to happen. I do feel great empathy for my sitter and the loss she is about to experience. I wish more than anything her sister wasn't ill and she didn't have to go through all of this. ( Her mother died earlier this year. That too caused a lot of disruption and scrambling to find someone to watch my child.) My sitter was actually one of the first people to discuss the possibility of me having bariatric surgery years ago, so she is supportive. It is just the fact my support network is extremely limited and when one person is unavailable, it creates a huge domino effect. Right now my mind is reeling trying to think of alternate possibilities, and not having much success. I could sure use some positive energy and thoughts right now. I am not doubting my path at all, just worried about how it will all come together.[/quote']

As far as child care goes, you can look around and visit some day cares. Most have drop in care available. I am a child care giver myself and have used www.care.com to look for jobs. You can create a listing stating that you are looking for a back-up sitter for some medical apps, procedure.

As far as a ride home from the EDG, you can also use care.com to arrange that or you can take a cab/taxi.

[HoosierGirl 780]

Sounds silly, but this summer I posted a "want ad" on Care.com and we found a wonderful baby sitter. I was able to meet and "interview" her, set rates, dates that she will come, etc. It could be an option for you to have someone come to your home while you recover to take care of your daughter. Don't give up...you will figure this out!

[FitnFabfor2014 358]

Hi, I feel so bad for your sitter. I am sure on top of her worrying about her sick sister she probably feels guilty leaving you without day care. My suggestion would be to find another day care provider (at least temporarily). When her sister does pass, she is going to plan the funeral and need time to grieve. You will still need someone to care for your daughter and it should be someone you are comfortable with, not someone who you just met and only have a few days to get to know.

Leaving your child with anyone is extremely scary and uncomfortable. You don't want to go into surgery worrying about your little one. I have been there (scrambling for child care) believe me I know how you are feeling. Maybe your sitter can refer you to someone she trusts? I would start looking for someone now and, be open with your sitter and let her know you are only doing this because you want to leave her options open so she can be there for her sister and not worry about anything else. Everything will work out. Right now it just seems like everything is hitting you at once. Good luck and please keep us updated on the outcome.

[RebecaSparkles 247]

Where I live our community association puts out a list of young people looking for odd jobs. Last time I had surgery, I had one of them come interview for the job w/her mom for mothers helper type stuff. She heated up food or picked up food for me. Helped me to the bathroom, walked my dogs, fed the dogs, she came by 2x a day on weekends & 1/day for school.

Maybe you can find some nursing students at the local community college who would be up for both helping w/ your child & you?

allons-y

[Roo101769 742]

All good suggestions, thank you. I should mention my sitter has a large family who all has been available to help with the sister who is passing. (so she doesn't have t go it alone) To be honest, she has come to terms with it and is dealing very well. But she does have to be there when the time comes.. It just gives me limited options. Another large problem. My daughter's father is not actively involved in her life. All we have is child support. So far I have NOT received my support for October. ( I usually have it by now. It is not even showing received by the CSEA at this point...) I do not make enough at my job to support us entirely. I have bills to pay, including extra expenses for the surgery. Right now finances are VERY tight, until I get that support. So paying someone else to watch my daughter is going to be difficult at best. ( I pay my sitter two weeks at a time, on my pay days) Like I said, a rock and a hard place. I did come up with an idea I am going to check on. Someone I have known from my high school days that I have stayed friendly with through FB. She once offered to have Rowen come play with her daughter ( same age) to give me a break. I am hoping maybe she and I can work something out..But again, thank you all. This situation is just stressful. And we already know how much stress is involved at this stage of the game...

[AtlantaRed 651]

You can also post on care.com for a childcare exchange where you offer to trade off childcare. Honestly, it will be hard to find someone if you are unable to pay.