Frustrated, Confused, and Discouraged

[Goddardgo 90]

It's official, I'm in my second guessing stage..

I realized that I didn't want to spend the $7,500.00 on my sleeve and decided to cancel all of my appointments with my weight loss program. I plan on selecting a new plan this month during my open enrollment for benefits and selecting an "in network" surgeon for the surgery. So I have a lower deductable and go in network to reek all of the benefits of my plan.

So.. I stepped away from the forum for a while and started thinking about just being banded, because it's cheaper, it's reversible and I would still have all of my stomach.

I really felt like the sleeve is what I wanted, I didn't want to wait a long time to start seeing results like I would if I had the band.. and the thought of the band doesn't set well with me.

I feel like I am just trying to convince myself to do things the old way and start a diet, but I know how that goes.. I've been there.. I've done that and always always go back to my old weight. I now weigh more than I have ever weighed in my life. I noticed I actually started gaining more and more just with the idea of surgery.

I need advise here. I need to get back on track and I need to start feeling good again about this.

[Sleeved in Seattle 280]

Nobody can tell you what's best for you. For me, I had the band, was successful, but as time went on I gained nearly all the weight back. And spent at least 3-4 meals a week getting stuck and bringing food back up. I would *never* recommend the band after that experience. Read the "band to sleeve" forum for more.

That said, the sleeve is a drastic solution. There's no turning back, no matter how much you hate it at the beginning. It is fast at the start. But it is hard, very hard, to get through the various stages of adding food back in. Do a search on pre-surgery liquid diets or post-surgery diets to see how much people whine and complain about the often weeks-long stages before real food can be eaten.

I feel better than I've felt in years. I'm happier about how I look, how I move and what I can do. Some days are easier than others, but most days nothing tastes as good as not feeling like the fattest person in the room. I hope I can stick to this, and I think if I remain vigilant, then the sleeve will be the answer to my prayers.

[DeenaF 38]

You have to follow your heart. No one can choose for you and only you have to live with the choices you make. I am very happy with my sleeve and I look forward to being a "normal" size again one day.

[cejiogu 182]

The surgery forced me to re do my relationship with food. I like food still but it's not my go to comfort. I eat because I need to not because I am upset about life. I have broken down the wall of fat and I am living more now. I have gotten rid of 5 pills that I needed to take that where only sort of working. In 3 months hopefully I will rid of the last two. I thought of the band at first but realized after an info meeting I needed to go for the sleeve. I was happy then had a panic attack. It is hard to deal with at first. I was still questioning myself as I got on the or table and they were putting the mask on my face. Woke up and I was finished. I am glad I have a better live the I had 5 months ago. I feel better and look better. You may feel regrets in the short run but in the long run you will be happy. I thought I could do it on my own but I also felt like I could gain it back. Yes I know I still can but I would have to work real hard at it! I was sleeved may 1 and I am down 96 lbs as of Sunday. Please grab onto your life and start to live not living to eat.

[FitnFabfor2014 358]

This is just a question...no judgment. Why did you stop going to the meetings and checkins? If you thought you were going to go through with the band couldn't you have all the previous Dr's notes, checkin's and lab work transferred to the new doctor and then you wouldn't have to start over? I agree with the above posts. Nobody can tell you what to do or decide for you. Maybe you should visit the band-to-sleeve forum on this site. There are a lot of people that had the band and loved it but, had to have it removed (for whatever reasons) and chose the sleeve. It's a huge step but when it comes down to it what are our options? We have all done the yoyo diets and struggled with weight loss. It's not like we are trying to take the easy way out. I am sure others can contest this is a difficult surgery not only mentally but physically but, the results are worth it. Either way you decide to go I hope that it's a decision that makes YOU happy in the long run. Good luck with your choice!

[Goddardgo 90]

This is just a question...no judgment. Why did you stop going to the meetings and checkins? If you thought you were going to go through with the band couldn't you have all the previous Dr's notes, checkin's and lab work transferred to the new doctor and then you wouldn't have to start over? I agree with the above posts. Nobody can tell you what to do or decide for you. Maybe you should visit the band-to-sleeve forum on this site. There are a lot of people that had the band and loved it but, had to have it removed (for whatever reasons) and chose the sleeve. It's a huge step but when it comes down to it what are our options? We have all done the yoyo diets and struggled with weight loss. It's not like we are trying to take the easy way out. I am sure others can contest this is a difficult surgery not only mentally but physically but, the results are worth it. Either way you decide to go I hope that it's a decision that makes YOU happy in the long run. Good luck with your choice!

I stopped going because they were out of network and I knew I could change my plan this month and go for an in network provider. I felt like I was wasting time for the weight loss institute if I knew I would be changing. I am still in the process however. I have an appointment with my physician this week where she will start me on the 3 months of required weight management I need and I figured once I got to my new surgeon in January I would already have most of that done, so I would just have to do whatever he/she requires and hopefully have surgery in January of February.

[Rainae 22]

Know that many physicians that once did the band no longer do. This is related to the high complication risk and often having to remove the band itself. 7500 is not a lot when you begin to consider the benefits. If you add up the cost you will save of food and medications and other complications that obesity causes, you generally will repay yourself in a couple of years. Having second thoughts is normal, I hope you find peace with whatever you decide.

[Arts137 1,811]

whatever you decide, you are among friends here. And without a doubt, try ANYTHING less radical than surgery. If it works Good For YOU!!! But the sleeve sure has been a big help to me.

[woo woo 872]

x

Edited October 11, 2013 by woo_woo

[FitnFabfor2014 358]

I stopped going because they were out of network and I knew I could change my plan this month and go for an in network provider. I felt like I was wasting time for the weight loss institute if I knew I would be changing. I am still in the process however. I have an appointment with my physician this week where she will start me on the 3 months of required weight management I need and I figured once I got to my new surgeon in January I would already have most of that done, so I would just have to do whatever he/she requires and hopefully have surgery in January of February.

Ah ok, got ya. At least the 3 month required weight management program will give you some time to decide. . Are you still leaning towards the band? What dis-sways you from the sleeve? Is it that a part of your stomach removed and the slow weight loss only? When I went to my weight loss seminar they had all three up as an option (sleeve, bypass, and band) and they showed the pros and cons of each. Have they done that at your doctor’s office? The thing I enjoyed most from my doctor's seminar was that they let you choose the surgery option you felt the most comfortable with (unless the patient had health problems that prevented a certain surgery). I originally chose the band too but ultimately decided on the sleeve.

[PdxMan 4,292]

I started this process wanting the band, too. I was thinking, what if I need my full stomach later?

Then, I played the tape all the way through ... to the end.

food was a friend, a comfort. I just wanted to break up with my girlfriend, not decimate her! Right? But, just like the good advice any friend would give you, I couldn't go back to my old ways. It was killing me. Slowly. I had to take control.

The only reason I would need my full stomach is so I could go back to abusing food the way I was accustomed to. I needed help to permanently change my relationship with food. The sleeve was my solution.

I am over two years out now. Yes, I still struggle with my issues with food, wanting to eat a bag of chips ... grab a tub of ice cream ... comfort myself in all the old ways I used to. But the sleeve doesn't let me. Sure, I can have bites, but the sleeve limits me.

The sleeve is like putting a breathalyzer on your phone that won't let you call any of your ex's if you have had anything to drink. You want to, but it won't let you.

[Indigo1991 1,612]

Lol, PdxMan, great analogy and think you should patent that phone breathalyser idea

OP, none of us can tell you what's right for you but we can share how being sleeved has turned out for us.

I am healthier and happier than in more years than I can remember or believe would have been possible. Working with my sleeve has helped me lose weight consistently while tackling my issues with food. Most of the time, I make good food choices. I have the odd lapse but it is one cookie, not a packet :-) I feel I have gained so much in my life (as opposed to weight!), I now actually have a life I don't want to compromise or lose by going back to old ways. It's a very long time since I felt like that.

For me, the last 5 months being sleeved has helped me come to terms with food being medication to help me cope with life. Feeling good and looking good has helped me face up to that and alter my behaviour. Early days but I am getting there.

Being sleeved is not easy. But I could not have achieved what I have without my sleeve - and I love it!!!!! I have stopped feeling hopeless and now feel so hopeful about everything....

[LipstickLady 25,682]

You aren't obligated to have surgery until the the anesthesiologist puts you under. I'd say go through the process planning on a 6-12 months out surgery date. In that time, diet and exercise like a fiend and do everything you can to get yourself to the weight you want to be.

When it's time for you to start your pre-op, make your decision. Can you keep going the way you were? Can you commit to your new lifestyle? Did you stick to plan and are you happy? If so, forget the sleeve! If you aren't happy, have the surgery.

Personally, I know that I can stick to any diet for 3-4 months. I could lose 70-80 pounds on WWs and did it several times rather quickly. When I am on, I rock. I go 100% to the point of being obsessive about my plan until I stop. Then I gain it all back, get pissed at myself and do it again. I can't do that anymore and I like it. I can have bad days, I can have long stalls, I can "cheat", but I can't quit. It's awesome.

[JewelJ 29]

It's official, I'm in my second guessing stage..

I realized that I didn't want to spend the $7,500.00 on my sleeve and decided to cancel all of my appointments with my weight loss program. I plan on selecting a new plan this month during my open enrollment for benefits and selecting an "in network" surgeon for the surgery. So I have a lower deductable and go in network to reek all of the benefits of my plan.

So.. I stepped away from the forum for a while and started thinking about just being banded, because it's cheaper, it's reversible and I would still have all of my stomach.

I really felt like the sleeve is what I wanted, I didn't want to wait a long time to start seeing results like I would if I had the band.. and the thought of the band doesn't set well with me.

I feel like I am just trying to convince myself to do things the old way and start a diet, but I know how that goes.. I've been there.. I've done that and always always go back to my old weight. I now weigh more than I have ever weighed in my life. I noticed I actually started gaining more and more just with the idea of surgery.

I need advise here. I need to get back on track and I need to start feeling good again about this.

Dear Goddardao....Do not go with the BAND.. I had one since 2007 only lost 60lbs. than at a stands still.. food gets stuck.. than you have to stop eating.. your food gets cold. than you have to try again later.... It's a pain.. My husband was told he had Alzheimers last year. So now i'm a caretaker.. with all the issues i'm dealing with...I've gained 15lbs back. I went to see my surgeon.. and we decided to go with the Sleeve. On wed Oct 9th we will be taking my Band out.. than in Jan 2014 I will get the sleeve done... My Doctor wants new tissue to grow before having to go in a stapple old tissue. So he got approval for both surgeries before taking the band out....Good luck... But I would go with the Sleeve. Go on the forum here on all who had the band.. and read what they have been writing.. that will help you make up your mind....Sleeve is so much better..Look at the Gov of NJ he had it 6 months ago and still looks no better.. Good luck my friend..JewelJ

[JewelJ 29]

Dear Goddardao....Do not go with the BAND.. I had one since 2007 only lost 60lbs. than at a stands still.. food gets stuck.. than you have to stop eating.. your food gets cold. than you have to try again later.... It's a pain.. My husband was told he had Alzheimers last year. So now i'm a caretaker.. with all the issues i'm dealing with...I've gained 15lbs back. I went to see my surgeon.. and we decided to go with the Sleeve. On wed Oct 9th we will be taking my Band out.. than in Jan 2014 I will get the sleeve done... My Doctor wants new tissue to grow before having to go in a stapple old tissue. So he got approval for both surgeries before taking the band out....Good luck... But I would go with the Sleeve. Go on the forum here on all who had the band.. and read what they have been writing.. that will help you make up your mind....Sleeve is so much better..Look at the Gov of NJ he had it 6 months ago and still looks no better.. Good luck my friend..JewelJ