Miss having friends

[Christina.Rose 287]

Has anyone ever kind of turned agoraphobic because of their weight gain? I just moved back to my home town and live petrified of running into people who knew me 100 pounds ago. I am so ashamed and nervous. Throughout the years several of my good friends have attempted to reconnect but I would always "lose their number" or ignore their emails. No real point to this post, just kind of venting and curious if others have this severe reaction to going in public.

[JBT222 51]

Weight gain can cause you to put up new walls due to shame and embarrassment. Both the gain of weight and the loss of weight carry huge psychological issues that often get completely ignored in the process. I look at the walls you are putting up as a way of you avoiding dealing with the problem. Just like with any other disorder, you can't fix it until you admit there is a problem. So yes, you gained some weight. Now you are taking control and you are going to fix the problem. Yes you had to buy bigger clothes, but now you are changing and focusing on the new. Find your motivator and stop putting up the walls.

You will need these friends to help hold you accountable when you do start losing and you will absolutely cherish their support and compliments when they see your changes.

[Shazam 517]

I understand where you are coming from. But I must say, I USED to be like that, when I was heavier. Now, I kinda wanna see their reaction. Kinda like, see....I DID IT! kinda thing. You should be very proud of yourself!!!

There is no need to be ashamed or nervous. After you get your first positive result, you kinda get addicted to them, and want more!

[CHEZNOEL 4,061]

This too will go away as you lose weight! Friends are here for you in the meantime!

[kbrown465 8]

I never really had too much concern over that. When you're overweight, you live on a daily basis with others' judgment. I'm always amazed by the fact that I could be at the gas station buying a donut, and the lady next to me looks me up and down like "do you really need that?" while asking for her pack of Camels! Really?? The way I see it, we all have our vices. Some of ours are just more visible to the public. At least mine only hurts me - hers could actually kill me. Bottom line. We are who we are - we all have people in our lives who love us big, small or in between. God made us perfectly and we have value in this world. You rock!

[lisacaron 5,075]

Excellent post kBrown. Often I find that the person that is the worst critic and makes the nastiest comments about my weight is myself! There is no escaping myself, but I have learned over the years not to take myself so seriously, and to not beat myself up.

I am who I am, take it or leave it. When I start thinking negative about myself or think that others might judge me, I take a step back and ask myself what is the worst they could say...? You have already said it to yourself more then once...so get on with it girl get up and get out there and be happy.

Life is too short to do anything else, so I get up get ready give the critic a smirk in the mirror and stride on out the door. There is life to be lived, and I'm too big to fit under a rock so I might as well get out there and soak up some sun! My Vitamin D is too low

[Debbie3sons 1,936]

If they are friends and I mean true friends they don't care what you weigh, they should just like and be friends with you no matter what through, yes I a going to say thick, heavy or the dreaded f word (fat) or thin , skinny , or healthy lol what ever we are are real friends don't care and stick around and keep in touch or come out to play with us lol.

[B-52 7,113]

When you loose the weight it is going to open a whole new social arena for you.....hard to explain, but many people, STRANGERS, are more forward and friendly....don't quite understand why...I've read many times in many different places that our relationships can be a mirror image of what we project to others....which makes sense because after weight loss you have a high self image and very positive outlook.....I think it's contagious.....I certainly get more smiles throughout the day that's for sure

I also find myself critiquing obese people more often...again not sure why, and not proud of it.......it's like Analyzing, Diagnosing or Triaging a situation....weird!

[FaithfulOne 21]

I can totally relate to this! Whenever I am thinner I find myself being more outgoing and in general more social. I'm working on accepting and being myself at every weight

[Shazam 517]

When you loose the weight it is going to open a whole new social arena for you.....hard to explain' date=' but many people, STRANGERS, are more forward and friendly....don't quite understand why...I've read many times in many different places that our relationships can be a mirror image of what we project to others....which makes sense because after weight loss you have a high self image and very positive outlook.....I think it's contagious.....I certainly get more smiles throughout the day that's for sure I also find myself critiquing obese people more often...again not sure why, and not proud of it.......it's like Analyzing, Diagnosing or Triaging a situation....weird![/quote']

Yes I have noticed that since I've lost a good amount of weight people do seem to be more friendly. I don't know why that is. But it is true. And I've noticed it a lot more in the last 1-2 months. And what's funny, a couple of the people completely ignored me before...!!!!!!