Nj March Chat

[Iluvharleys 15]

Hi Y'all,

Just popping in here and reading what I missed today! I am in the middle of supper, so can't stay long.

Darcy - Glad you got a new treadmill! I know you will use it too! We all want to keep our parents as long as we can, no matter what. I sometimes think that when they get that old and then get sick, just let them do what they want to. Let them enjoy what is left of their lives. I know if it was happening to me, I would just want to enjoy what I had left. It hurts to sit by and watch them do it to themselves, but sometimes we just have to. If he has an aggressive type of cancer, I doubt him staying sober will help it at all. Just enjoy him anyway you can until you can't. Hugs sweetie! Call me if you need a shoulder to cry on!

Chris must be too busy with her sweetie!:clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :heh: :heh:

Kat - I even tried the pedometer on my shoe laces, it still didn't work for me! I guess I am just weird!

Eileen - Gosh, I didn't know we were supposed to eat just for good health! I have been doing it totally wrong for so many years it's too late to change me now! I just like the good tasting stuff! :hungry: :hungry: :hungry:

Opps, forgot my supper, gotta RUN!

Catch you later, or in the morning!

[NewBeginnings2018 81]

Hey everyone. I'm alive!!! lol. I have been really busy. I had my friend's 3 year old for 4 days last week, then spent the weekend (Sat - Mon am) with tattoo boy, so I haven't been around much. Things are going pretty good with tattoo boy, but I'm having some serious trust issues. I talked with Sherry a lot about it today. She is so great!

My second fill has kicked in and I couldn't be happier. It has made a real difference with my hunger, which is what I was looking for. I'm hoping the restriction will stick around for a while. I want to lose another 18 lbs by May 20th for my friend's wedding. It's about 1.5 lbs a week so I can do it! Granted if I started to log some hours for Darcy that would help. lol

Hope everyone else is doing well!

[sunsett 2]

Hi all,

Darcy I'm so ssorry to hear what going on with your FIL. I do agree with what Betty said though. If it's what he enjoys why not ;et him have it. I had a very very close frend who was really like a family member to me. I adopted him and we became very close he even lived with us at one point for a while when Floyd came to NJ and flooded him out. Anyway he was a major alcoholic and in the end his daughter and I brought him a bottle of vodka and we had a drink with him. It was very sad for all of us, but it was what he enjoyed and needed.

FIL and MIL aren't to great. Things are still nuts around here. We are moving him out of the Columbia house on Saturday. I gave in to Garry and said what the heck I can only do so much. He gave into me and said ok hire a moving company. So at least we will be rid of Columbia in a few days.

FIL has no appetite and slept ALL day yesterday. Today he was a bit better. The PT came to work with him and I tink that helped. MIL was ok she had lip stick on today. She looked good. She is walking more with the walker, but still cant do anything for herself. We brought Cindy her cocker to visit her today Cindy didn't seem to care about seeing her which was to bad.

You guys know I LOVE animals, but I have got to tell you Cindy is the dumbest dog I have ever known I think she could win an award for being the dumbest dog on earth. She doesn't walk on a lease she does the breast stroke! I am not kidding! She is really something. OH I have no idea how he will be able t keep her. She is great company for him she sleeps on his lap but when she is awake..wew...

I take FIL to urologist on Thursday. His PSA is 22. I am afraid of what is next with him.

[sunsett 2]

I didn't want to lose my post....

OK I went for my pre-op appointment yesterday with my GF and all went well. Monday at 7:30 I will be losing about 3 pounds of boobage!!! He said that by Monday evening I should be able to make myself a sandwhich and watch a movie with the family! I'm not telling Garry, I want to be waited on..lol...No seriously he said that a lot of women use the drugs the first 3-4 days and then just tylenol and the meds at bedtime. He also said I would be a small D cup. That sounds to big to me, but I will talk to him more about it on Monday morning. He said no drains..yay..and I can shower right away...sweet....

If I can't type on Monday my Kelly will come on and let you all know I'm ok!

OK well I'm going to cruise around here for a while. Have a good night. Thanks so much for all of your support. I really appreciate it and need it right now. Can you all come and stay with me for the next 3 weeks....pease....

[sunsett 2]

This inlaw stuff I'm fine with I don't mind helping them and doing everything for them. BUT they have this STUPID DOG! And I love dogs I have 2 that are wonderful I have even considered grooming as a hobbie because I love them so much. Animals are Gods gifts to us, so when I say this I don't want to come accross to you as an animal hater because I truely am not!

Cindy is a cocker she is the dumbest dog on this earth she doesn't walk she does the breast stroke. I have tried to be nice to Cindy, and I still am, however this DOG has been barking non stop for 2 hours! She barks all night, I let her in the house after bing outside for a walk and she poops She pulls me almost to the ground when I walk her!

Then I am suposed to be taking a leave of absence from work with all this personla stuff going on and they are driving me crazy. It is time to deliver the magazines. So I am trying to juggle all this stuff for everyone else including taking FIL to Dr.s appointments taking me to pre-op visits, visits to the rehab, arranging the inlaw move from Columbia for Saturday, cleaning the house doing the laundry..I've just had it. I am resting having some MY TIME and the magazine calls and wants something else! I have a house to clean close to get ready, me to get ready for Monday. NO one has offered to help me out next week when I'm recovering DH forgets to feed the FIL so how am I suposed to rest and heal with all this CRAP going on. I am truly furios right now and the FREAKIN arking stupid DOG isn't helping my insanity!!!

I feel a meltdown coming if not an explosion. I just got a sore throat screaming at the deaf dog!!!

Sorry I had to vent the over load is to much! I know it will be a while before I can do to much around here and I would have liked to clean my pantry before hand!

oH AND i FORGOT TO pay the garbage bill so now I have to go to there office today to give them MOney so they pick up on Friday!

Sorry I just need to bitch

__________________

[piercedqt78 658]

Dianne, stop, do something for yourself. Go and sit at a starbucks or dunkin doughnuts, have a coffee. Relax even if it's just for 10 mins. Make a list of things that need to be done and when they have to be done. Give the list to your dh ask him what he can do on that list. Have him make a copy of his jobs, and then follow up with him. Is there a service that will deliver meals to FIL? We have a place here that makes meals 3 days at a time and you just het them up, they are not cheap, but they don't break the bank either. I used them after my foot surgery for my DD and DH. DH picked up meals for 3 days and then we decided to do 3 more days. 6 days was like $150 for 2 people, dd and I split our meals. That was 3 meals a day with a snack. Or make some chicken salad, egg salad and tuna salad so the boys can make sandwichs for him for lunch. Some frozen Breakfast burritos for Breakfast, and then pack up whatever you had the night before and he can reheat for dinner. Is that possible? The house will still be there next week, you don't have to make it spotless. Do the things you know you won't be able to do for a while, like vaccum. You can dust after surgery, it won't kill anyone it let it go for a day or two. Tell work that for everyday they call you, you are going to ask for a consulting fee. If they are calling you at home, you should be paid for that. It is still work, just from home.

I too am an animal lover, I have 2 BOston terriers that I love to pieces, but get that barking dog a static or ultrasonic bark collar. If the dog lives with you and your other dogs, the only thing that you can do is the static collar. I have one on my male, he used to bark at everything, even the snow falling. He barked 20 hours a day. I put the petsafe brand bark collar on him and in 3 days he was no longer barking. It gives a small shock, triggered by the vibration of the dogs barking. If they continue to bark the shock is a bit stronger (there are 10 levels of correction) If they stop barking then it resets. I let the collar shock me before I agreed to let them put it on my baby. It felt like someone walked across the carpet and then zapped me, it was really mild static. It does stop the barking, by startling them. Might be worth looking into. I got mine on ebay after our dg trainer told us that was all that was going to help.

I hope some of my ideas are helping. Take a moment, calm down, relax, have a coffee. Regroup. Things will be ok. (((hugs))) ~Mandy

[SherryW 4]

One day at a time, One thing at a time...break it down to one thing and handle the one thing or make a to do list and check them off one at a time. Mandy has some great ideas there. Diane, you can do this...just one step at a time and ASK DH for help. My DH actually told me if I don't ask he's not going to know what I want or need as far as help so he lets me be. I think that's true for most guys. Take a deep breath in and slowly let it out then go for it girlfriend. You can do this!

[Kat817 19]

I truly wish we could all just take turns coming by to lend a helping hand. That is the one thing that makes this frustrating for me, to feel so close to all of you, and yet not be able to really DO anything to help you!

I agree with all of Mandy's suggestions, and if the meal delivery is not an option, buy frozen dinners. They may not be your #1 choice, but they will not have to eat them forever---just for a few days, to give you a little break. Vacuum your floor, change the sheets on your bed, stock up a few necessities, and call your house good. Maybe the recovery time would be a good time to try one of those collars on the dog. You would be home with her, so you would know if it malfunctioned in some manner---or if she wigged out from it.

I think a sit down honest talk with DH is in order as well. I am sure heis like Darcy's husband, doing anything and everything to keep busy, to avoid looking at the inevitable. I can only imagine how hard it must be for them.

While you are sitting having the cup of coffee, make your list of jobs needing to be done, decide what can just wait....because some of it, even though you want to do it, really can be put off! Don't forget to call and make yourself an appointment to get your hair done the week after surgery. You can shower and let it go if it has a fresh cut. And not needing to lift your arms to do it would be much easier!

Does the staff where your MIL is know you are headed for surgery? And work do they? If you don't want everyone to know what kind of surgery don't say---just tell them you will NOT be available for work--in person or by phone for X amount of days. After the break, I bet you are ready to get back to it.

Is there a neighborhood kid you could give a couple bucks to, to walk the ditzy dog?

Here we have a group that offers respite care. Have you checked to see if anything like that is available. They run simple errands, or sit with your loved one while you run them. It is a part of the home health care. We used it with my Grandma. In fact one of the girls took on the task of driving her to her chemo treatment each day. With all of us working it was hard, and they were a blessing, they feel like family to this day!

There is nothing wrong with asking for help from strangers, and DEMANDING help from family! You are an amazing woman---but you simply cannot do it all without help.

When you need to say mean things about the dog, the family, whatever or whoever---come to us---we know the real you, and we know you need to vent. And remember...Thou Shalt Not Drop Kick Stupid Dogs....I know it is a commandment somewhere!!!

(((HUGS))) For ALL of you!!!!

Kat

[piercedqt78 658]

Dianne, You know we are here for you right? How was the coffee? Take it easy girly. We are here to listen, give advice, listen, anything we can do for you we will you know that, did I mention that we are willing to listen?

I am struggling with my dd right now, she is being a total monster, and school is calling me and letting me know she is a problem there too. She is on more meds than most elderly people, she takes 8 pills a day, none of them are helping. I am starting to eliminate meds one at a time. She hates taking them and I hate having to give her them. We have decided that she is a beast on the meds and a beast off the meds, so the meds are going. I talked to the psych, and he said we can slowly take her off the meds and see what happens, if it's bad we can put her back on them or try something new. She's only 5 and has soooo many learning and psychological problems. She also has some neurological problems (seizures). Seems we can't win with her issues. I know she is just being a typical special needs kid with with me being so sick for so long I am just at my breaking point. I told her last night that if she didn't stop with the smart mouth and attitude she would come home and find all her toys packed away. She is always soooo hyper and she is a drama queen, falling to pieces at the drop of a hat. (I see an Oscar in her future) Please keep her in your prayers, ~Mandy

[sunsett 2]

Wow Mandy, I know how hard that must be for you I'ms o sorry. My Godson sounds a lot liek her. He is 21 now. I remember when he was younger and all the struggles they went through with medication. It is better now but at times challenging again. Prayer are going your way.

Thanks so much for all of your support I feel your hugs and prayers.

Ok I went out of my way and found a bakery and brought a peice of cake! Ate all the icing and just over half the piece. I felt full and not good when I was finished, but not guilty, I needed it today! I think it is the first time I have done that since right before my sencond band surgery. It felt good satisifying and it was mine! It also felt good throwing the rest away.

After that I went to the hospitality show. I told Jennifer that I will not be able to continue distributing the magazine this week with all the Dr appointments this week. So thats one thing off my list.

I got all the apartment stuff together as far as new phone # and cable set up for him.

FIL and I talked about him totally moving into the new place and he said he thinks he should stay here at night for a while. I told him that I agree and that we need to take it real slow and be comfortable about it. I also told him that I am quit anxious about him staying there alone.

It felt good to tell him that and was a relief to me and I bet to him also.

Ok tomorrow, here is my list guys help me keep to it.

Hopefully I will sleep till 8:30

shower

9:00 wake Herbert up

Throw laundry in

check on all of you

get Dr's paper work together that we have to bring

go to Dr

go to Petsmart, yay!!

stop by storage place

go see MIL

read chapter 1 of my bible study book

make dinner

oh yeah more laundry

small group of bible study HS girls come here

cruise the inernet

throw another load in

go to bed.

I hope I can do it..

Thanks night night

[piercedqt78 658]

Sounds like you are getting the list together. I know that is the only way I can manage aroud here. I have a list for everything. I also have a notebook in dd's backpack and that is how I talk to her teacher. We send notes back and forth several times a week. Even though I am at school several times a week I like to have the notes in writing so I can refer back to them. I also cross things off as they get done. Sometimes things need to be pushed to the next day and that is ok. I am human and can't do it all. Life is much easier once we realize that. I also have the belief that if you come to visit and my house isn't perfect, you are here to visit my family, not my house. I always excuse the mess even when the house is spotless, I guess that's the southern girl in me. I did the high clorie thing today too. I went to caribo coffee and had a large apple cider with whipped cream, carmel and extra vanilla Syrup. I drank 80% of it and it was GOOD. I needed the treat. I am still fighting this damned flu, death virus whatever it is and I needed some calories to get through the day. I picked up Peter Pan on DVD today, it was rereleased yesterday. I am going to tuck dd in bed and watch it alone tonight. It is a classic and I haven't seen it in a really long time. But first I am going to take a nice long hot bath. It has been a long day, and I need a break. I will check in later. I managed to venture out into the rest of LBT and found more fighting and nasty behavior, I think I will just stay here from now on. Granted it was in rants and raves, but the poster made some politically heated comments and the others jumped to defend Hillary Clinton and it just got ugly, people calling each other idiots, stupid, childish. Sad really. ~Mandy

[Iluvharleys 15]

Good Morning Y'all!

I was sick all day yesterday, so I didn't do much at all. I went to work late, and came back home two hours later.

Kat - Is today your day with the crazy guy? Good luck and don't look him straight in the eye. If you look at him look over his shoulder.

Dianne - Sweetie, I am glad you took some time for yourself. I think most of all every thing is bothering you because of the upcoming surgery. I am sure you are a little nervous, and now every little thing gets to you. Just take some time for yourself, things will work out for everyone else, they always do. You just remember that you are one person, and you can't save the world by yourself. Sometimes we need to step aside and let someone else shoulder some of it.

Mandy - I sometimes believe all the medications cause more problems that good. It's good that you are doing experiments with it to see if she will be better without it. Good luck! I know it is so hard for us to go through with children.

Darcy - Hey girlie, how it your DFIL? And how are you?

Eileen - I saw the "You on a diet" on PBS last night. It was good to see, but like you I wonder how much weight really comes off. I didn't see anyone lose a ton of fat.

What is everyone doing today? I am going back to work-UGH- I wish I could take a day off and enjoy the sunshine we are having. It was so pretty yesterday, but couldn't even get the energy to go outside.

Later!

[nightingale2u 42]

Hey Gals...

Dianne... So sorry things are so stressful. (((hugs))) I know you love dogs... I imagine that their pup has been trained by the lack of training to behave that way. Hang in there... citronella collars work pretty well for barking as well and it's a little easier to watch. I know I about had a nervous breakdown when Ava got nailed from our electronic fence when she crossed the boundry. Do you have an area that you can just let her out off leash for going potty???? It sounds like walking is so "swimingly" fun that she can't take the time for a poo. :eek: ((((hugs))))

Betty... How are you feeling??? FIL is doing really well actually. He let the boys help him and is letting them clean and organize his house. This is a great relief as it is really a "fall" trap. Anyhoo... he hasn't taken a drink yet... and he has a full bottle of vodka in the fridge... so who knows... maybe he will opt to remember the remainder of his life? Although we have expressed the desire to see him stop drinking... we have been very clear with him that he has our support regardless of the choice he makes. We just want to make sure he and others are safe so we asked him to be honest about it due to the fact that he still drives. He is walking around the house with ensure plus in his hand instead of a "martini"... I think he really is frightened of dying and really is trying hard to regain his strength for the radiation therapy. Anyhoo... he is a lucky man... his sons love him and take very good care and respect him regarless. We are family... and we all love each other regardless of our individual addictions.

Mandy... Your daughter is so lucky to have you... and I imagine there are gazillions of reasons you are lucky to have her. I hope that you are able to get the medication situation worked out and have her on as little medication as possible.

Sherry... How's the "Daily Motion Devotion" going???? :eek:

Chris... See... I knew I was leaving someone out of my other post!!! SORRY! Take er slow with the fella.... you have all of the time in the world to find out who are and who he is and how the two of you are together.

Eileenie... I did 2.35 miles on my brand spankin new tready this mornin! Yee HAW!!!! She's a beaut! Oh... I can't hang with the recipes in You on a Diet... but the information was just freaking awesome in that book. I look at labels now for much more meanigful reasons than just calorie or fat content... I am much more aware of why I need to look at lables and why I need or don't need certain foods in my diet. Besides... I've always been a sucker for a man in scrubs. :confused:

Irene... I miss ya...

Kat... 65 DEGREEEESSSSSS.... I'm commin to visit girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are supposed to get up into the 50's this next week so I am really lookin forward to that!!!!

Okay... must go... a grapefruit is calling my name.

NJloser... (I have lost your name in my brain) I wear my pedometer a lot just to remind myself to be more active. I don't wear it when I exercise so that I know if I am sitting on my hinder too much in between workouts. I have to hook mine on my jean pocket or it doesn't register... I think the roll keeps it from moving...lol.

Cindy... Our very own Clever Fairy Princess.

Dang monkeys... I think we need to fire them and get some flying llamas.

[Kat817 19]

Morning Girlies-

Yep Betty, today is the day. It is supposed to be a simple cut & dried closing of the case, with him paying the damages he agreed to in mediation. But with him, we will have to see how it goes. I had hoped to be bolstered with all of my family with me---but (isn't there ALWAYS a but???) the moved my Moms knee surgery to today. IF this goes off quickly as it is supposed to, I will make both, which I am fervently praying for, I want to be there for my Mom. My Dad and my DD will be there. DH is going to be with me, as is DS at this point. We did not tell my inlaws it was happening today!! My FIL is so hard of hearing, that he doesn't hear, and always wants things repeated, which is not in accordance with the atmosphere they want maintained in the courtroom. Hoping I can just show him the CASHIERS CHECK---and tell him when the fence repair people will be there. Then shoot over to the surgical center to be with my Mom. They are going into her knee arthroscopically to see if there is a way to just clean up the meniscus, and give her some pain relief. He said if it is too bad, they will do minor clean up and schedule her for replacement. So today's surgery is day surgery, and not super serious, but any anesthetic at their age especially is not great, so I would feel better being there. Will let you all know at the end of the day how things went. My sunshine-y weather has given way to rain showers today----kinda fitting for the mood today has taken on!

I am with Betty---I have this crud that seems to migrate. It started as laryngitis, my voice was bad, but I felt ok. Then my glands on the right side became swollen, and my throat sore. Then the gland went down and left me with a stuffy nose....now that is gone and it is in my chest making me want to cough, and of course my voice is bad again---just in time for court!!! Tomorrow I have no idea where it will land!!!! I hope you feel ok at work today Betty.

Hope everyone is hanging in there, with kids, and parents, and life in general---I will be back to let ya know how it all went. Wish me luck!

Kat

[piercedqt78 658]

Hey Gals...

Dianne... So sorry things are so stressful. (((hugs))) I know you love dogs... I imagine that their pup has been trained by the lack of training to behave that way. Hang in there... citronella collars work pretty well for barking as well and it's a little easier to watch. I know I about had a nervous breakdown when Ava got nailed from our electronic fence when she crossed the boundry. Do you have an area that you can just let her out off leash for going potty???? It sounds like walking is so "swimingly" fun that she can't take the time for a poo. :confused: ((((hugs))))

The only thing with the spray collars, if there are other dogs around they get sprayed too. Our trainer warned us that my little girl would be sprayed when the little boy was barking. They are always together and it would put them both in the line of fire. Same with the sonic sound collars, it effects both dogs and the cats too. ~Mandy