Bastard! {WARNING: may contain content not suitable for newbies and those with a clean mouth)

[deleteme 176]

I met a sneaky little bastard today. His name: chocolate cupcake. I've had a crappy, crappy week work wise in addition to the one month mark of losing my bestie, so I decided I deserved to let myself indulge on the cupcake that was nicely placed on my desk as I loaded my students on the SpEd bus.

Two bites in and what happens? That little bastard, devil of a chocolate cupcake gets stuck! And I mean STUCK! I've had minor "stuckage" (i think i just invented a new word) in the past that passes quickly with little discomfort. Not today. That bastard cupcake caused some hellacious pain in my chest and for the first time ever, my mouth started salivating to try and get that a*****e cupcake down. I just knew that the lapband gods were trying to teach me a lesson. I stared down that a*****e half cupcake that sat on my table taunting me as walked frantically around my room trying make his bastard half cupcake portion pass. If that bastard cupcake had human qualities he would have been shaking in his boots knowing how much I hated him at that moment. I walked over to that cupcake, picked that bastard up in his stupid little napkin, and smashed him to pieces. He was then emphatically thrown in the can never to see my teeth again.

So what is my point? Sneaky, little bastard, a*****e chocolate cupcakes are the devil and not my friend. I hate them. I hope they burn in hell. Forever.

Thank you. You may now rejoin your regularly scheduled reading. AND be on the lookout for those sneaky little bastard a*****e chocolate cupcakes....and you should also watch out for their siblings too, like vanilla, strawberry, etc.

Sent from my iPad using LapBandTalk

[ThinLizzie77 12]

Hahaha oh no!! I have had verrry similar situations, and it is bloody awful! I find if I'm really hungry and "forget", I eat with the speed of Old Liz and end up in agony. Ugh!!! My kids have made Halloween cupcakes so I will be steering clear!!

[B-52 7,113]

Sounds familiar....after a few times trying to eat one, and after a few times getting stuck trying, the urge - craving totally goes away for the rest of your life!!!

there are dozen's of things that no longer tempt, or appeal to e anymore for just that reason. Cupcakes, do-nuts, pastries, Bagels, muffins, cake..anything made from from flour/dough...including Pizza Crust.< /p>

Love the band...and the behavior modification it brings....

[southernqt 236]

Oh I agree totally it's like getting sick off a certain food and not eating it again because you remember getting sick. After getting stuck on a food you don't even want to look at it anymore and it's nice! Lol!

[Bama53 214]

Love the way you presented the cupcake ordeal!! Sorry you had to go thru that, but thank you for sharing. Will make me think twice if I am tempted. Hope you're feeling better.

[kll724 3,055]

Great story! But if they didn't hide out and get stuck, we would like to have them around too much! Sorry for your ordeal!

[HotButterFly 981]

LMAOOOO! Thank you for the laughs!

I know that little bastard all too well.... I have t seen him around my way in MONTHS, but if he ever finds the courage to stroll by with a menacing demeanor, I put a lap band around his bastard little head faster than I would have eaten it in my previous life!

[shimmersrn 0]

How do I post a thread? Lol. I'm lost

[Ms.Vickie 68]

Lmao...

[Debbie3sons 1,936]

I thought this was funny and it did catch my eye I almost thought you were talking about a doctor , well just be careful cause, I am not sure but you don't want to be banned from the site for using or abusing foul language , make sure and read the rules as Alex does check in , I am not being mean or hateful I am just trying to be helpful as I did read this and my self thought it was funny.

[tlbutler 98]

Omg that was hilarious!!!!

[Monicab 37]

???? very funny, I loved this!

[donna12 742]

I met a sneaky little bastard today. His name: chocolate cupcake. I've had a crappy' date=' crappy week work wise in addition to the one month mark of losing my bestie, so I decided I deserved to let myself indulge on the cupcake that was nicely placed on my desk as I loaded my students on the SpEd bus. Two bites in and what happens? That little bastard, devil of a chocolate cupcake gets stuck! And I mean STUCK! I've had minor "stuckage" (i think i just invented a new word) in the past that passes quickly with little discomfort. Not today. That bastard cupcake caused some hellacious pain in my chest and for the first time ever, my mouth started salivating to try and get that a*****e cupcake down. I just knew that the lapband gods were trying to teach me a lesson. I stared down that a*****e half cupcake that sat on my table taunting me as walked frantically around my room trying make his bastard half cupcake portion pass. If that bastard cupcake had human qualities he would have been shaking in his boots knowing how much I hated him at that moment. I walked over to that cupcake, picked that bastard up in his stupid little napkin, and smashed him to pieces. He was then emphatically thrown in the can never to see my teeth again. So what is my point? Sneaky, little bastard, a*****e chocolate cupcakes are the devil and not my friend. I hate them. I hope they burn in hell. Forever. Thank you. You may now rejoin your regularly scheduled reading. AND be on the lookout for those sneaky little bastard a*****e chocolate cupcakes....and you should also watch out for their siblings too, like vanilla, strawberry, etc. Sent from my iPad using LapBandTalk[/quote']

I was cracking up and I am one with a clean mouth lol sorry u got stuck good story

[LeeB1946 261]

Hope the little bastard is gone. It took me 8 and 1/2 months before I got a stuck. It lasted 6 hours and I felt like a rabid dog, foaming, coughing wanting to barff and could not. No more Jenno turkey franks for me. When it comes to cupcakes I try to remember the old saying, "a moment on the lips, forever on the hips." I guess in our case it would be moment on the lips hours in the band. does not rhyme but you know what I mean.