Feeling Hopeless

[Otis968 4]

I'm desperate and need advice. I got my band over three years ago and am virtually the same weight. I had my band empty for about a year after becoming so resentful that I couldn't eat "normal." I just started getting fills again but I am falling back to old habits and eating things that are easy. I feel like food is an addiction that I can't overcome. This is affecting every aspect oft life. I'm scared I'm going to be unhealthy and miserable for the rest of my life. I just want to feel good about myself again. I just want to be happy. Is anyone out there having similar struggles? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

I'm very sorry you're struggling.

food addiction is very real- and very hard to overcome. Unlike a drug addict or an alcoholic that can leave their object of addiction behind, a food addict has to face their addiction many times a day just to live.

If I were in your shoes (and I have been, btw) I would really strongly advise seeking help. Maybe a local support group, a counselor, or even a 12 step group. Someone who can help you overcome this addiction and help you get back on track to health.

You can do this, you just may need a little help to get there.

Best wishes.

[carol285 145]

I joined Weight Watchers on December 30, 2012 after being banded on October 25, 2010 mainly for the support system of people all in it for the same reason! I had lost 85 lbs put on about 20 lbs because I was letting life's complications get in my way and then feeling sorry for myself or resentful that this(weight) was yet another struggle I had. Weight Watchers may not be for you BUT do try to find something or someone to help you puzzle out your feelings, emotions & actions. Good luck!!!

[Jack 855]

Otis968

You express the very same concerns I had a decade ago when I was on the verge of going in for the Band.

Biggest challenge of my life, which has been full of other opportunities to grow faint of heart.

What I have learned for my journey, is that WHATEVER it is I think, and HOWEVER it is I feel, there is only ONE thing that takes me toward my goal:

That is to take a step in the right direction EVERY DAY. When I stopped my action-plan to move toward my goal, I was sucked back toward the very same darkness, like Gollum in the Lord of the Rings.....hiding in a cave muttering to myself and snapping at invisible bonds that weren't really there.

I found my personal strength grows which I exercise my volition....when I take that step, when I abandon those Old Habits which strive to again ensnare me.

Each day grows easier, as each step I take toward my goal strengthens, as the bag of Old Habits grows lighter every day.

It takes only one thing to accomplish your goal. That is to take ONE step every day. When you feel weak or distracted or depressed, try looking a different direction.

Take a step in that direction. You will be surprised.

[B-52 7,113]

"I had my band empty for about a year after becoming so resentful that I couldn't eat "normal." "

I came to realize, which was not hard to do for me, that I was fat...Morbidly Obese because I was eating Abnormally.... not Normal......

Yes, the way I eat now is night and day from the way I used to eat....there are certain foods I chose to give up....it is now impossible for me to overeat, I can only have small portions....it has become the New Normal for me...I'm used to it now and don't give it a second thought or effort anymore on my part....

Having reached my optimum weight, and having my body fat% down into the "Fit" range, I will say that this new lifestyle has taken on a whole new "Normal"

I drink beer, I am not afraid of potato chips, Cookies, ice cream, candy or cake...(from time to time, not all day as before)......I don't count calories or measure portion sizes...wasn't always that way, especially in he beginning....but now...it is the new me...

I have many friends who are thin and fit....they indulge in many things dieters would never see themselves eating or drinking....it is because they have a certain lifestyle....it is the BIG PICTURE that counts....a life of eating less and mostly healthy, with the occasional indulgences and partying....and a life that is active to burn calories...they are all involved in something...cycling, running, climbing.....the little indulgences here and there mean very little in respect to the entire big picture...the New Lifestyle.....

They can do it out of will power resulting in healthy habits....I needed surgery to develop resulting in new habits...but it is all about change....

Having this WLS for me, was only a step, not the end in itself......another phase to get to anormal weight and health.....now that I am there....there is a WHOLE NEW LIFE AFTER LAPBAND that many if not most people on this forum cannot imagine possible....but it is there...I'm living it everyday....

So yes...the band WILL change your eating, and your life...accept it...there is a big surprise waiting on the other side...whether it take 12 months or 3 years....it's what it is all about....and the lap and will get you there, but it takes change....

Everyday I read posts here fro people who back down, resist change......it us their choice...not sure why they would elect to have major surgery if they want things to be as they were and in their comfort zone....

[kll724 3,055]

Sage advise from B-52 and others. We have all been there, done that, some still! See a nutritionist and join a support group. You need someone to keep you honest with yourself! Good luck!

[HotButterFly 981]

Otis, simply put..... There IS hope.

[Otis968 4]

I truly appreciate all the kind words and advice. One thing I am certain about is that I'm not going to give up. A support group is a fantastic idea. I get my fills literally a quarter of a mile from my home and they have a support group. I always find some excuse why I'm too busy to go. The support group is actually this week so I will make it a priority. Thanks again for all of your help!

[kll724 3,055]

Get thee to the support group, Otis!!

[HotButterFly 981]

I'm glad you're making it a priority. When you fall just get back up again like you're doing right now... Reaching out demonstrates you want it & the support group (and us here) will hold your hand and PULL YOUR EAR