2 weeks until my surgery!

hotpink_bubbles · February 27, 2007

As of tomorrow, i only have 2 weeks, 2 FREAKING WEEKS until my surgery. I am scared as h e double hockey sticks! Im double scared because of the post i just read, about someone waking up with the tube still down their throat. I will make it a point before i go in, that i WILL NOT, and i mean i better not wake up with one down my throat, cause if i do, i will scream...or at least try to scream bloody murder. Im at the point now where im going through the, am i making the right decision? What if i tried dieting harder? Wont i change? I dont want to change, i hate change, what am i doing, are you sure your doing the right thing, if you dont do this your weight will just continue to spiral out of control, your going to do this, you HAVE to do this, its not optional for you, its your last chance, your too young to just let your weight keep going up, its for the better, your making the right decision. The biggest thing im afraid of is going under. I had surgery when i was 7 for my tonsils, so going under isnt something new. Being cut open is though. HOwever when i had my surgery at 7 yeras old, they forced me, and i mean literally pushed the gas mask so hard down on my face to put me under i was screaming and crying and trying so hard to get them to take it off to just let me breathe and calm down for a second and they wouldnt, so because of that, i got these things they call night terrors, wher ei wuold wake up in the middl eof the night, half asleep still, screaming that people were trying to kill me. It was absolutely horrible. Not cool to scream after having your tonsils hacked out of your throat. Puke a lot of blood up after that one. So that freaks me out, what if i dont wake up too? What if i just die on the table? What if after im out of surgery if i dont die, what if i screw up and ruin everything, what if i lose a whole bunch of weight, and i change who i am not only on the outside but the inside too, how will people around me react. Will i be able to do this? I need some encouraging words here. No one in my family, my boyfriend no one could possibly know how scary this is for me. They are just like, ohhh youll be fine. I'll be fine, i'll be fine? Ive never been cut open before, i have NO clue what to expect. Im scared to death. Im stressed about so much right now, the surgery beign the main thing. I just hope all goes well. I just need some of you to tell me, it will be ok, this is all normal, and that i will do amazing in this journey im taking. I really really need that. No one else is giving it to me. Sometimes i just want to sit down and cry. Very emotional person i am lol. SO if any of you could help me out and give me some encouraging words and let me know its going to be ok. I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you for letting me vent, and thank you for reading. You all have been very helpful, and im going to be here a lot more once banded. Wish me luck. Thanks all. *BIG HUGS*

~Hotpink~

Ambrosia · February 27, 2007

Bubbles,

I had never even been admitted to a hospital prior to my surgery on 2/15. I am 48 years old so you can imagine how anxious I was about everything that could go wrong. I absolutely refused to attract any negative energy whatsoever. Anytime a negative or "what if" thought entered my mind, I simply pushed it out and replaced it with positive thoughts of everything I was going to be able to do once I got this weight off. Laws of attraction.

Good luck with your surgery and keep positive, healthy thoughts.

faithmd · February 27, 2007

Oh my gosh, TRY to relax! I' am about to go and put in my $.02 in on that "wake up with the tube in" thread. It does happen, but it is not often. And it is NOT incompetence. I'm sure that very rarely it is someone not paying attention when a patient is completely awake and is still tubed, but in order to pull that ETT (endotrachael tube) out, you MUST be at least somewhat awake, because you have to be able to breathe on your own! Everyone wakes up differently, and everyone "processes" anesthesia in different ways. Believe me, no anesthesiologist or CRNA wants you to wake up intubated. But it occasionally does happen. It is NOT the worst thing in the world (at least not to me, I've been WIDE awake with an ETT in. But again, everyone is different.

You'll be fine!

And congrats!