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I personally can't believe anyone would choose to be gay. For a while it was trendy to be gay or bisexual, and maybe there were some choices made then, but I doubt that's true homosexuality as much as temporary attention, like someone would choose to have purple hair, or a girl will kiss her girlfriend in front of a group of guys just to get the gyus' attention, not because she is truly attracted.

Choosing to be gay would be like saying, "Please hate me! Please give me a difficult life! Please treat me as less of a person because I am attracted to the same sex! Please cut my civil rights off at the knees because I do not live my life in the same way heterexual do!" Who would ask for that, and make it a choice?

Gadget, do you have any gay friends? Truly homosexual. And true, know them inside & out friends - not casual acquaintences or "chums" from down the block. It's fine if you do, but it would surprise me. Because I persinally don't understand how someone who is really tapped in to what it's like to be a homosexual in our society could believe it's a "choice".

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Forgive the misspells, I have a headache and don't want to edit.

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that it is completely possible to get overcome with attraction and emotion to the point where you fully believe your sexual decisions cannot be overcome and are a part of who you are. And yet, when stepping back from the situation and understanding passions and drives for what they are, can be redirected.

After 16 years of knowing my husband and 10 years of being married to him I have been unable to do this. That's fine for your friend but her experience does not apply to everyone. I think it's really not all that bright to apply the experience of your limited group of friends to the experiences of all Gay people, and it's attitudes like yours that continue to deny MY friends their rights.

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I am not going to go through a long, detailed response to everyone, but I will say this. I have a friend who I've known for a very long time who, at one point chose relationships (sexual) with women over relationships with men. She turned away from that lifestyle and is now happily married with children. She and I have had long discussions about this issue and whether sexuality is a choice. She tells me, and I believe her based on experiences that I've had, that it is completely possible to get overcome with attraction and emotion to the point where you fully believe your sexual decisions cannot be overcome and are a part of who you are. And yet, when stepping back from the situation and understanding passions and drives for what they are, can be redirected.

So that's the experience that she (and many others) have had. I'm sure others of you don't know anyone like this and have had other experiences. I choose to make my decisions based on what I know, so I don't consider homosexuality something you're born with; I consider it a choice.

I know that as much as I love and value the women in my life, I don't want to have sex with them.

But you didn't answer my main question. Why is it being a choice a reason to deny rights?

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I am not going to go through a long, detailed response to everyone, but I will say this. I have a friend who I've known for a very long time who, at one point chose relationships (sexual) with women over relationships with men. She turned away from that lifestyle and is now happily married with children. She and I have had long discussions about this issue and whether sexuality is a choice. She tells me, and I believe her based on experiences that I've had, that it is completely possible to get overcome with attraction and emotion to the point where you fully believe your sexual decisions cannot be overcome and are a part of who you are. And yet, when stepping back from the situation and understanding passions and drives for what they are, can be redirected.

So that's the experience that she (and many others) have had. I'm sure others of you don't know anyone like this and have had other experiences. I choose to make my decisions based on what I know, so I don't consider homosexuality something you're born with; I consider it a choice.

Any and everything is possible on the sexuality spectrum. But we are what we ARE, and it's simply not the case that homosexuality is a choice. Sexual behavior is a choice, of course; anyone can choose to be celibate or sleep with multiple people of whatever sex. But bottom-line sexual identity is no more a matter of choice than is skin color. And it should be equally meaningless with regard to our civil rights.

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Based on what I have observed, heard and read, I have to agree with you that homosexuality is a choice, although most don't realize it. I know that withing the church, there are ministries that work with homosexuals who want to become streight and they have great results. I have only know a handfull of gay people well, and every one of them had experienced some kind of emotional trauma growing up or as young adults. I don't know if that is universal, but it's what I personally am aware of.

I am not going to go through a long, detailed response to everyone, but I will say this. I have a friend who I've known for a very long time who, at one point chose relationships (sexual) with women over relationships with men. She turned away from that lifestyle and is now happily married with children. She and I have had long discussions about this issue and whether sexuality is a choice. She tells me, and I believe her based on experiences that I've had, that it is completely possible to get overcome with attraction and emotion to the point where you fully believe your sexual decisions cannot be overcome and are a part of who you are. And yet, when stepping back from the situation and understanding passions and drives for what they are, can be redirected.

So that's the experience that she (and many others) have had. I'm sure others of you don't know anyone like this and have had other experiences. I choose to make my decisions based on what I know, so I don't consider homosexuality something you're born with; I consider it a choice.

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Gadget, do you have any gay friends? Truly homosexual. And true, know them inside & out friends - not casual acquaintences or "chums" from down the block. It's fine if you do, but it would surprise me.

Yes, I do. And I know what they go through. And they know how I feel.

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I have had gay friends, both men and women, ever since I was in my late teens. I am now 57. I can say that none of my friends chose to be gay. Why, some of the older ones even got married and had kids. Some of them got beaten up and some of them quit their jobs or wanted to because of the harrassment.

It is much more difficult to be homosexual than it is to be straight, and the teenage years are especially painful. Those are the years when we are all most anxious to belong, to blend in.... I have been told that the rate of suicide among gay teens is much higher than it is among straight kids. This did not surprise me.

Nor was I surprised when the results of various scientific studies indicated that sexual orientation is not a lifestyle choice but something with which we are born. My gay friends have often told me stories of preferring to play with the toys and games of the opposite sex when they were very small.

For any heterosexual to announce that homosexuality is only a perverse lifestyle choice borders on the irrational. If you find yourself unable to go to bed with someone of the same sex, why do you think anyone else is able to perversely and carelessly make this choice? Especially when they know that they are not going to have an easy time of it!

One of my closest friends once said to me that life was much easier for us heterosexuals. He said, "you have a map. Each one of us has to make his own."

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Why is it being a choice a reason to deny rights?

Its being a choice doesn't make it a CIVIL right, which is what I was talking about.

As to denying rights, I'm don't know that marriage is a right. You have a right to engage in whatever personal acts you want to engage in (again, that don't hurt others), but you don't have a right to have the government bless, acknowledge, or sanctify your actions. I'm really leaning more towards not believing the government should be involved in marriage at all. So there you have it!

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Its being a choice doesn't make it a CIVIL right, which is what I was talking about.

As to denying rights, I'm don't know that marriage is a right. You have a right to engage in whatever personal acts you want to engage in (again, that don't hurt others), but you don't have a right to have the government bless, acknowledge, or sanctify your actions. I'm really leaning more towards not believing the government should be involved in marriage at all. So there you have it!

So none of us would have the legal rights and protections we now get for being married? Hum, not sure about that.

I still can't find anything in the law that says choice has anything to do with civil rights.

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Its being a choice doesn't make it a CIVIL right, which is what I was talking about.

As to denying rights, I'm don't know that marriage is a right. You have a right to engage in whatever personal acts you want to engage in (again, that don't hurt others), but you don't have a right to have the government bless, acknowledge, or sanctify your actions. I'm really leaning more towards not believing the government should be involved in marriage at all. So there you have it!

Let my ask a hypothetical question. What if some group decided for whatever reason that Baptists couldn't get married? Being a Baptist is a choice, so would that be OK?

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Yes, and some investigation units have great results getting confessions. That doesn't mean the people are truly guilty.

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Its being a choice doesn't make it a CIVIL right, which is what I was talking about.

As to denying rights, I'm don't know that marriage is a right. You have a right to engage in whatever personal acts you want to engage in (again, that don't hurt others), but you don't have a right to have the government bless, acknowledge, or sanctify your actions. I'm really leaning more towards not believing the government should be involved in marriage at all. So there you have it!

So who does have the "right" to marriage, then?

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I think homosexuality has a lot of components, possible physical, emotional and spiritual, just like compulsive overeating. I also believe there is treatment for it, and with a desire to become hethrosexual, I have heard of some wonderful results. I have a therapist friend, who is not a Christian, who believe the same way.

I have heard of some who, when the became Christians and came to believe that their lifestyle was wrong, refrained from endulging in homosexual sex while they came to grips with things. Many of these people are now in committed, happy hethrosexual relationships with famlies.

I have had gay friends, both men and women, ever since I was in my late teens. I am now 57. I can say that none of my friends chose to be gay. Why, some of the older ones even got married and had kids. Some of them got beaten up and some of them quit their jobs or wanted to because of the harrassment.

It is much more difficult to be homosexual than it is to be straight, and the teenage years are especially painful. Those are the years when we are all most anxious to belong, to blend in.... I have been told that the rate of suicide among gay teens is much higher than it is among straight kids. This did not surprise me.

Nor was I surprised when the results of various scientific studies indicated that sexual orientation is not a lifestyle choice but something with which we are born. My gay friends have often told me stories of preferring to play with the toys and games of the opposite sex when they were very small.

For any heterosexual to announce that homosexuality is only a perverse lifestyle choice borders on the irrational. If you find yourself unable to go to bed with someone of the same sex, why do you think anyone else is able to perversely and carelessly make this choice? Especially when they know that they are not going to have an easy time of it!

One of my closest friends once said to me that life was much easier for us heterosexuals. He said, "you have a map. Each one of us has to make his own."

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