A big fat baby

[Sultana 0]

Hi All,

Well, today I had my SIXTH fill, and I am now at 3.5--the most fill any of my Dr.'s patients has. I am 9 months out and have only lost 30 pounds. I asked Dr. K about the fact that most people lose the majority of their weight the first year, and didn't that make me a failure??? She was very kind and encouraging. I have to explain here that I am in the process of switching antidepressants (MENOPAUSE!!) because Prozac has a weight gain side effect. Right now I am weaned down to NONE for a week before I start the new ones, so I am sure that plays into this.

At any rate, I then went with the dietician to have a resting metabolic rate test which was a whopping 1800+ (I have been hypothyroid since I was 19???) and in a very chastising way she said to me, "You know Sultana, most patients lose the majority of their weight the first year". Now I am crying and feeling like it is a lost cause and that I am a failure. I explained to her that I exercise, eat Protein first, don't drink until 2 hours after eating, never drink hi cal liquids, etc. All my previous fill was still there today, I just think I am a freak and need lots more fill than some others. Do you think this long fill process has made me miss my "window of opportunity"?

I hated being so emotional today (I am really quite analytical by nature), but I am so frustrated and feel like such a .....NON loser.

Thanks for reading this. I feel better just having typed it out.

[La_madam 20]

Hey Sultana don't get down..getting off the Prozac will help. I was on Paxil for a year and a half and gained 65 pounds. I weaned myself off it after my doctor told me a side affect was weight gain and that it slows down your metabolic rate ( wish he would of told me this before he prescribed it for me) Once the prozac is completely out of your system you will notice a huge difference. You are not a faliure.. losing 30 pounds the first year is better then gaining 30 pounds ...would you have lost the 30 pounds without the help of your band? I'm sure the answer is NO or you would of never gotten the band right? You're doing great! The way I see it...any weight loss is better then any weight gain!

Keep it up and try not to get discouraged

[Sultana 0]

Aw, thanks Michelle! I really am a mess. Your very kind response made me feel teary. I can hardly wait to start the Wellbutrin next week. I have been constantly working to stay positive, and it was hard WITH drugs!! Can you believe I have 3.5 fill and I don't even have trouble drinking (still on liquids)??? You are right; I would never have lost this weight without the band-- a very positive thought. Thanks!

[La_madam 20]

Is your doctor concerend that you can still drink liquids at 3.5cc's. I'm at 2cc's and if the liquid is too cold or too thick I cant drink it. I can not imagine what I would be like at 3.5..probably all closed up. 2cc's is hard enough. Does he do your fills under fluoro? Do you drink the barium so he can see your restriction? That makes a big difference for me to be able to see it for myself , to know he hit my port and to see the barium trickling down through the band... The Wellbutrin will help like the prozac did but without the weight gain, be careful, you may feel nauseas the first week or so and with the band you do not want to be throwing up. I took wellbutrin( pre band) but the nausea was so bad the first 10 days I had to stop taking it, I knew it was going to get better as it got into my system but I could not hang on for that too happen. I had no appetite what so ever..I'm glad I was able to make you feel a little better..hang in there!

[GeezerSue 7]

Aha! You, too, have been on the weight gain train. I needed to lose 130-150 pounds. Twenty or thirty came along with a very early surgically-related menopause. And then there were Prednisone pounds...about forty of those. And then there were Prozac pounds, p'rolly around thirty, and then there were the twenty or thirty from the Effexor/Paxil/Zoloft months. Which explains the lion's share of my weight gain.

PLEASE, PLEASE tell me how the Wellbutrin works.

[whippledaddy 5]

Maybe I say it as shouldn't, since I am not yet banded, but I know all the reasons I picked the band. And one of them was that the weight would come off in a more manageable way.

And one pound less on the band is one pound that doesn't have to come back.

Thirty pounds are gone! They will stay gone forever. Thirty little gremlins that cannot haunt your dreams any longer. Thirty reasons you can lose thirty more.

"Most people lose the majority of their weight in the first year"

Let's look at that closely. The truth is: Most people don't get banded.

There is no window of opportunity like the RNY. Did you need a window of opportunity to gain the weight? I know I didn't. I put it on one bite at a time.

And that's how it will come off.

Now is the time to harness that inner strength and beauty that I can see you have from your posts. Determine that you aren't most people. Determine that the generalities spouted to you by the thin won't apply to you.

Thirty pounds in nine months? That's just short of a pound a week. What's so bad about that? If you were gaining a pound a week everyone would be alarmed, so why not be elated that you are losing that much?

From what you say you're doing the right things. It'll come off. But you cannot hold yourself to any one else's yardstick. Every person is different. You'll lose the weight.

You'll do it. You'll do it because you have the strength. You'll do it because you have all these wonderful people here to come to. You'll do it because you sat out to do it, and if it comes off in pounds, ounces, or tons, it'll come off because you've made that decision.

You can do it. I know this. And, if you slow your breathing, turn down the lights, turn off the TV, radio, and other noisemakers, and listen to that little voice inside you...................you will know it too.

[hagerteresa 3]

Hi Sultana,

Sorry to hear your frustration. It definitely sounds like you do everything right as far as eating habits and such. Do you use fitday to track nutrician and calories at all? I find it very useful for myself. Don't give up though. The band is stuck with you and there is no permanent quiting. Keep your chin up and I'm sending you happy thoughts. Teresa

P.S. I am laughing right now thinking about how I like to wear my "lucky" shorts to weekly weigh in, and thinking maybe I should send them to you. I'd better send them to marie first though so she can patch the crotch. LOL. Best wishes!!!

[Sultana 0]

Sue, Teresa, Michelle, and Whipple D (a real MAN!!),

Truly, you are all wonderful and supportive. I so appreciate your beautiful, witty, inspiring words. This site is all about the people who live here, and their generosity. You have really helped, and tomorrow (apologies to Scarlett) is another day!! Thanks! I will keep you posted.

Michelle, my doctor does not do fluoroscopy; she believes that it is a "flawed" procedure (and she is in the very front lines of this field) because it only shows the progression of liquids--not food. I know there are many doctors who disagree! Luckily (in light of all my fills) she has never had a problem accessing my port. It has always been quick and painless. I do have some difficulty drinking cold liquids, and have had some come back up a little. I usually warm them in my mouth a little before swallowing. Cold liquids are a little difficult--moreso than food! Also, I believe that the Wellbutrin that I will be taking is a newer one. My Dr. told me that the main side effect would be jitters to start out with. He did tell me to take it with food. I hope I don't get the nausea--I'm inclined that way. We'll see....

[Alexandra 55]

Sultana, you're getting terrific advice and support here. I just want to emphasize that there is NO "window of opportunity" with the band and that what your doctors tell you about other people is absolutely and completely irrelevant!! "Other people" may not be on medication that messes with their metabolism; "other people" may feel restriction from the get-go; "other people" may be younger, male, or running marathons.

And, let me tell you, there are plenty of "other people" who have the band and don't use it correctly and even more who don't have the band. You are 30 pounds lighter than you were before banding, and that is what you want to remember.

Hugs, and a pair of earplugs to drown out all comparisons to "other people." Next time the doctor, radiologist, or nutritionist starts a sentence that way, just say I AM NOT OTHER PEOPLE. THANK YOU.

This reminds me of when I got pregnant with my first child at 36. My weight and age rendered me a "high-risk" pregnancy and my doctors kept recommending all kinds of testing. I agreed to most of it because, hey, what did I know. I had no problems and my b.p. even went lower!

With my second pregnancy I was three years older and 10 lbs heavier, making me even higher-risk by their lights. But now I knew something about how my body handles pregnancy, and how I felt about pre-natal testing, and so this time I was able to tell the doctor in no uncertain terms, I AM NOT A STATISTIC. I AM ME. I WILL BE FINE. THANK YOU.

And I was.

[Sultana 0]

Hi Alex,

You know, I did not let her (the dietician) off the hook. Even though I was crying, I asked her WHY should would say something like that to me in that tone without knowing anything about my story. I had never seen her before, and she did not even know me or about me. She was taken aback and tried to backpeddle, but I told her that it was too late that it was already out there. Of course, I was crying (drug crisis) at the time, so probably not so authoritative! Dr. K. was very supportive, kind, and encouraging.

I am sitting here now trying to ingest a watered down yogurt before I meet friends for lunch (I won't eat), and it's tough! I think I am definitely tighter. We'll see.... my new motto!! Thanks, and you're right--lots of good advice and support.

[New Hope 37]

Sultana, my heart goes out to you! You're a lot nicer than I would have been w/ that nutrionist. Grrrrr. Unfortunately, some people in the medical field have the "God syndrome". But they're individuals w/frailties and faults just like the rest of us. The "other people" mantra reminds me of my kids growing up. "Why can't I do such and such, all the other kids are." You just concentrate on Sultana. Make decisions that are best for YOU! Be kind to yourself. You are a human being with dignity and deserve to be treated that way. Is there any possible way that you could have a leak? If so, that would explain a lot. You're doing great!

[Sultana 0]

Hi Marie,

Thanks for your kind words! Nope, no leak. Dr. K extracted (?) siphoned ??? whatever.....she took out all the previous fills and said it was all there. My allergist has always told me that I am "wired funny", and I guess I just need more fill than most. I am still on liquids, but tomorrow I will try real food.< /p>

[donali 57]

Hang in there, Sultana - I echo... there is NO "window of opportunity" with the lapband. Some people actually lose more in their second or third year than they did in their first - they get to the right fill level, they get their habits down, their body and mind gets to a point where it's ready to release the excess weight. In the meantime, life is for the living, so go out there and Celebrate all of your blessings, and your 30 pound loss!!! Whoo hoo!!

I carried a 40 pound air conditioner into the house yesterday, and my poor legs could barley lift me up the stairs. I've lost 2.5 40 pound air conditioners - no wonder I could barely move!!!

**hugs**

[Sultana 0]

Donali!!

I laughed out loud at your air conditioner analogy! I love how positive and insightful you always are, and thanks for your support.

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