How can I give up my addiction and adhere to the strict diet?

[meyouus 415]

I am new to GBT, in the research stage. I have had a LapBand in me since '07, unfilled. I am well educated about what the diet is for the Band, but am currently eating whatever I feel like. I've been told to try RNY by several people. I have about 130#'s to lose to be an average weight. ** I have yet to find someone who admits they are deeply addicted to food and the action of doing it, for coping reasons. Sure, people say they understand, or feel the same way, but they don't. ** I suffer from Chronic Depression, a Dissociative Disorder, PTSD and Borderline Personality Disorder. In therapy, on meds. Normal to the people who are not in the therapist's office or home to see the real me. I, am addicted to food to cure the bad and Celebrate the good and more. I am terrified to the point of flaring up my relatively controlled disorders. I can't afford to do that. ** I am the mirror of an alcoholic, the narcotic addiction sufferer's, a cigarette smoker, though I don't do any of those things. What I DO do is feel and live the torture of giving up my "high". I have been to OA but I won't comment on that, I tried to tackle my addictive disorder with my therapist, but she doesn't "get it" all. I come here, to you, hoping against all hope I can read those words that really hit the spot, here on GBT. I know many of you suffer from emotional/addictive/habitual and binge eating. Come to me. I need to understand why I won't take care of this body I'm in. I hate it. Tell me how you got yourself to adhere to such a limited diet. Tell me how you came to love yourself enough to succeed in RNY. I am of an alternative religion, please don't tell me to give it to God. I have to do this, me, myself and I. I am responsible for what I've done to myself and I am also responsible to overcome my addiction. But YOU did it, tell me how. Tell me anything.....

[oldoneyoungagain 200]

As I'm sure you are well aware of, when you suffer from an addiction, only you can help with that addition with a lot of professional people on stand by. It is not a easy process nor a short one. It will take months to get to where you need to be to succeed. You had a lapband unfilled which didn't accomplishment anything but propably made you fill like a loser. Now on to RNy. These are only tools, you have to control what you put in your month, and how much. You have to comit to how much time you want to spend excerising. It is a tool, if left idol, as with the lapband, it will do nothing.You have to do the work and if you don't think you can then don't do it until you are ready,.

[Dorian 683]

I believe that all of us who have had RNY have some sort of food addiction. I can say that I have succeeded in this process because I knew that I really NEEDED to succeed. For me it was matter of daily back pain and the need for back surgery that pushed me to RNY. With the pain, my life had changed so drastically and I became very depressed and isolated myself from my family and friends. I needed to lose the weight to fix my back and get back to living. I agree with oldoneyoungagain in that dont do this if you are mot truly ready or you will end up resentful. It is a total life change and one that you must be committed to. I am 5 months post op and it is still hard to pass up food at times and I have moments when I think, "oh I dont care how much sugar it has. I want it!" When you are able to walk away and not eat what you would really like to eat, it is very empowering. My addiction to food will be lifelong im sure, but my will to be successful in this process will overcome that addiction!

Best of luck to you on your journey!

[Tamisa73 17]

I believe that all of us who have had RNY have some sort of food addiction. I can say that I have succeeded in this process because I knew that I really NEEDED to succeed. For me it was matter of daily back pain and the need for back surgery that pushed me to RNY. With the pain' date=' my life had changed so drastically and I became very depressed and isolated myself from my family and friends. I needed to lose the weight to fix my back and get back to living. I agree with oldoneyoungagain in that dont do this if you are mot truly ready or you will end up resentful. It is a total life change and one that you must be committed to. I am 5 months post op and it is still hard to pass up food at times and I have moments when I think, "oh I dont care how much sugar it has. I want it!" When you are able to walk away and not eat what you would really like to eat, it is very empowering. My addiction to food will be lifelong im sure, but my will to be successful in this process will overcome that addiction!

Best of luck to you on your journey![/quote']

Dorian

If u dont mind me asking...what kind of back issues do you have and has the surgery helped with that?

Im asking because I also have back issues which is one of my reasons for surgery...I should have a surgery date set in about 3 weeks.

[Dorian 683]

Dorian

If u dont mind me asking...what kind of back issues do you have and has the surgery helped with that?

Im asking because I also have back issues which is one of my reasons for surgery...I should have a surgery date set in about 3 weeks.

I have a severe slippage of the spine; a 3+ on a scale to 5. Also have degenerative disc disease and some fractures of the bones off the vertebrae. Have suffered with sciatica for years and it is now down both legs. I can feel the actual bones getting "caught" at times and cant stand up straight. I am having a fusion at 2 levels and some other stuff on December 12th of this year. I will find out exactly what the surgeon decided to do at my next pre op appointment.

This is my reason for RNY too. Have always been big and probably wouldnt have had surgery just for that reason. I was told I needed back surgery about 4 times before I finally was sick enough of the pain and the life I was leading to actually do something about it!

[kristy3k 1,133]

I agree that all of us have an addiction to food. This is why we all are in the shape we are in. Sounds like you are willing to do the leg work to research rny!!! Please do. A year and a half out and i still google new things I hear and read every article I can on successes and failures of gastric bypass. You are the keeper of your own destiny. This is a tool. But you have to use it correctly. If you try and cheat the tool you will end up with poor results. How bad do you want this???? Do you want to love the new you??? I promise is has been e best decision I have made. I had lost all sense of feeling full and rny gave me that back. You have to follow your doctors protocol to be successful. You have to have the want to to do this. It is and can be life changing but it is hard work. You have to be mentally ready for it. You will mourn your old friend food but you will find a new you.. One at likes other things besides eating. Good luck on your decision

date of surgery 02/21/12 surgery weight 340 lbs. current weight 146 lbs

[dottednails 122]

I agree with all the other posters ! But I would also like to say that for many people how you think of food after rny changes. For once in my life I look at food and think what do I need to get in in order to make my body function correctly I am never hungrey and eating dose become almost a chore at times. You will think way more about food after rny everyday I think what do I have to eat today I think about what is the best to eat because if I can only eat 1 cup of food per mealI am going to make sure it is something I really enjoy and will be good for me. I have a good friend who had lap band and she sneaks food all the time the slider foods she eats would never fly after rny I would be so sick she says all the time she wishes she had rny. It is a way different tool then lap band. You will have to talk with your doctors about what can fill the need to eat . I know weighing my self has become more of a addiction and working out .i have become way more social since losing 120 pounds so that helps with some of the depression issues I had before. Best if luck in which ever path you chose !

[sonya139 5]

Switch therapists....one that specializes in eating disorders.

[bloreorbust 286]

I wanted to live to a "ripe old age". And diabetes scares the hell out of me. Having been obese since childhood I knew I was playing a game against the clock and time was running out to lose weight before I start seeing the real consequences of my poor eating habits. I also want to have kids and give my husband that gift, and I can't do that at such a heavy weight. Even if I could, I wouldn't be able to run after and play with them and care for them as well as I would if I was smaller. What kind of life would that be, you know? So these are all my motivations.

I'm just 3 weeks post op and I absolutely still have that need inside to eat more than I can handle. However, now if I go one bite too far I am in SO much pain. I also have the fear of vomiting, dumping, blockages, and hospitalization if I don't do what I am supposed to. Those are very powerful motivations for me.

And let me also say, it is so awesome to start seeing my clothes get baggy, and my face thin out. Seriously. It just makes me happy to finally be getting somewhere. It's also nice not to feel like such a pig anymore when I eat, because my meals are minuatures now :-).

Think about what motivatates you, what do you want out of life, and what goals you want to set for yourself. If having a gastric bypass will help you reach those goals, then do it. Obesity has a much higher mortality rate than gastric bypass.

[music1618 879]

I think one of the keys is to figure out your triggers. We all have things that trigger cravings, or wanting food. When you figure those out you are able to deal with them. I found one of mine was stopping at a gas station/ fast food to use the restroom at work. I had a real problem leaving there without buying something. I worked around that by either waiting till I got back to our station and having so many different Snacks in my lunch back that I am not tempted. There are still times I have to have a conversation with myself and explain that we don't need it.

Our brains are such an amazing organ. This journey has shown me how much our brains play a part in weight loss. Our success and failure depends on learning about OUR brains. Everyone is so different. My husband has no clue what it is like to have a craving for something. A craving you can not ignore and must have it. His brain is wired differently than mine. He has been thin all his life and has always said just reduce your intake and you will loose the weight. That can be hard when your brain is doing everything it can to sabatoge you.

You must learn your brains tricks and be smarter than it. I have said before on these boards that if you think of your brain as a two year old you are able to deal with its tantrums. The "I want it now" mentality does not work with RNY. The first few months after surgery you want it now, but your stomach will not allow it. This is the time you develop your healthy habits. As one person said you begin to look at food as fuel not comfort and happiness. When you look at the piece of cake you think to yourself I wonder how much Protein is in that.

Make sure though that you are 110% ready for the change. If not you will have a hard time changing your habits. I would suggest you start keeping a food diary. Log your food and what you are feeling when you are eating that food. Also keep a record of things that are going on in your life. This will allow you to narrow down your vulnerabilities with food.

Good luck.

[LilBoo007 491]

I think everyone has given you great advice! Everyone has a different point of view and I am really hoping DL will chime in on this as well!! Before surgery I would have never deemed myself a food addict, someone out of control, a binge eater or someone who eats to comfort or control her feelings... I thought I had a good handle on portion size, sensible eating, I thought I made healthy choices and couldn't understand why I was sooo fat! Little did I know, I was my own worst enemy and after I had RNY I started to really get to know what was really going on! I realized just how much of my life revolved around food !! How much sugar and fat and sweets and carbs I craved and shoved into my body on a daily basis! But what was really eye opening was how I came to realize that for all the years I had been solving problems and pacifying my emotions with unhealthy food! By not being able to eat those foods anymore and only drinking liquids, then "baby food" 3 times a day only... I was able to reconnect with my true self and was made aware just how addicted I was to coping with all of life's hardships by replacing affection, love, disappointment, guilt and every other emotion with food! Food was ALWAYS there for me, food never let me down! Food gave me such an incredible high!! It made me content ! The fact that you can already admit and see this means your that much closer to breaking the habits! You CAN change the way you feel and think about food! RNY can be a wonderful "tool" to help you achieve your goals, but YOU have to put forth the effort and change your old habits for life! With the support of the right therapist, Dr.s, friends and family you can and WILL succeed through your journey ! And as always you have the support from all of us! Good luck on your road ahead!

[deaddemmama 474]

I suffer from clinical depression and have a very addictive personality. I previously had bulimia and it took years of therapy to beat my issues...I need to continue to work with my therapist who is well versed in all addictions, maybe for life. I also attend support groups where I can be myself and discuss my feelings...this is the root of my problem...using substances to hide my feelings, and only learning to realize,confront,and deal with my feelings on a daily basis helps me. It's tough to peel back the layers and get honest, but ultimately, it's all that works for me.

[meyouus 415]

I suffer from clinical depression and have a very addictive personality. I previously had bulimia and it took years of therapy to beat my issues...I need to continue to work with my therapist who is well versed in all addictions, maybe for life. I also attend support groups where I can be myself and discuss my feelings...this is the root of my problem...using substances to hide my feelings, and only learning to realize,confront,and deal with my feelings on a daily basis helps me. It's tough to peel back the layers and get honest, but ultimately, it's all that works for me.

*** You really hit the nail on the head. You get it. I suppose I was thinking I had to be perfect (I,mistakenly, sometimes see things in black and white) in my diet, traveling this journey, thinking that I HAD to be 100% perfect. **** Fighting addiction is lifelong and with food, it doesn't have to be perfect. I guess I am human and CAN do this! Just like many of you. My therapist is a recovering alcoholic with 23 years clean, so she gets it a lot, but stumbles with the food issue because alcoholics recover by not picking up a drink, ever and with food, we HAVE to eat. It's more intense than that, but you get the drift. *** I've learned something new again, thank you all!

[meyouus 415]

BTW, let me make this clear, my therapist, a woman, is excellent, constantly learning honing her skills, knows me like the back of her hand and never gives up. Just thought I'd mention that....

[dreamsawaken 28]

As a recovering addict/alcoholic, with over 15 years clean... I can say its very simple, not easy at all, but simple: when you get sick and tired of being sick and tired, the pain is greater than even the tiniest pleasure or comfort you get from food(or whatever it is we use to 'feel better')... you have the shame, guilt that adds another 100lbs onto your spirit... You want to go to bed and not wake up tomorrow....you have that moment you look in the mirror and don't recognize yourself, dont like what you see....but know deep down where that shred of hope and belief in yourself...that somehow the person on the inside who you believe in, you once were, you dreamed of becoming is still in there, and is crying out for one more chance at change, wants out of the self made prison.... THATS WHEN YOU KNOW YOU ARE READY, and you will be willing to do whatever it takes to change. Whether its food, cigarettes, drugs, overspending, booze, sex, co dependency.... Addiction is addiction....period. Sure, drinking oneself to death or smoking crack, doing pills etc is more obvious, more harmful...way lower bottoms to hit. But, I have found that focusing on the substance, or the "what" we are addicted to is irrelevant... Its addiction. We are powerless over the ADDICTION , & it makes life unmanageable. Addiction is not limited to drugs, cigs, food, booze, etc.... We can always trade one for another, and unless we grasp what addiction or having an addictive personality is about, that will make life unmanageable too. Its emotional, spiritual, physical.and mental.

For me, the 12 steps in the "A" programs work (oa, na, aa, etc).. The principles in the steps WORK. Never been to OA...not always thrilled with my own fellowship... My experience with those (incl me long ago) that have said this isnt for me usually werent entirely ready or thought they could do it on their own, or control it. But the same steps and principles, support, meetings, etc I have learned from and practiced for the last 15 yrs that have successfully kept me from using/relapsing....and gave me another shot at life... Are working for me in this journey too.... Rehab was a tool to start me off on the right track 15=yrs ago. It was up to me to continue to do what i needed to do to stay on that path, change, grow, heal...let go of past crap, live differently, make new habits etc.. Change people, places, things....even now. This surgery is a tool for me to get on the right track...because I know and accept I cant do it on my own...like you said food is everywhere, we need it to live...and its easier to.cheat or "relapse" on a cupcake.(or 10) than it is on a drink or drug. Not as much to lose.... Or is there???? Why OA is kinda unrealistic, imho. However, support groups, or a 12 step group that doesnt focus on specific substance, etc are essential, for me. Self sufficiency is a lie. We need each other, people who "get" it...the real it ... Addiction is a feelings disease. I can empathize with someone who shared about pretending to order food for a couple people in the drivethru, when in reality it was all for them... I never did that, but I can look at the behavior, the shame, guilt, feeling of degradation and despair it caused, and relate 100%..

I never thought I was a food addict, but the reality is that I am.. I like and want whatever makes me feel good, takes me out of whatever reality I dont wanna deal with, or need to numb. I usually eat well, yet if over emotional, stressed, etc...i tend to say "f" it, and eat whatever. I wont trade my clean time/sobriety for anything....but you can be sure Id break an eating plan or goal for a box of HoHos or pizza/wings in a second.... Until I realized that was keeping me trapped in a cycle of failure.....just like i was using. I ended up losing myself again, in a fetal position, crying every day... Once again looking in the mirror, saying WTF are you doing ??? You got clean, did all this work on your self with the steps, therapy, go to meetings drinking crappy coffee...have changed your life, in so many ways... To stay stuck again...to hide the beautiful person you are behind all this fat?? Settle again for just enough to get by, not being all you want to be?? (Thats my key...hiding behind the weight, more afraid of success than failure... Something inside still not feeling worthy...)

And that was my "bottom" that led to this... So approaching it just like i did the drugs/booze and getting "clean". A lot of recovering people get this surgery...i have at least 6 friends in my network, and met another 5 or 6 at the NA world convention .."randomly" a few wks ago....and its not random. I got my approval on 8/29 while at that convention.... My HP (God for me) put people in my path all weekend that had had WLS, and where it came up in conversation....out of 18000 peeps there... My friend i was there with doesnt get it, questions my decision...and it was affecting me a bit....but BAM, there were peeps who got "it", lived it, were in the process who I just met that built me back up... So, there is something to giving it over to some power greater than ourselves, regardless of who or what that is.

Sorry....long. Addiction is just something i understand all too well... Luckily, I also am continuing to learn what recovery, change, growth, etc is even better. thats my two cents....or ten cents, lol.