Choose the people around you wisely

[life_after_gastric_bypass 214]

My heart is broken.

A friend of mine for over 18 years has passed away from a heart attack. He battled with his weight all his life. At his highest I am guessing he was maybe 500 plus pounds. He was diabetic, he smoked both cigarettes and weed, he was depressed and the aches and pains due to his weight was hurting his body, he started to use a cain toward the end to help him walk.

At my highest when I said its time to take control of my weight I was 301lbs, I try to encourage him to do the WLS, so that his quality of life would be better and he would say no I don't do well with pain. And when he would see me he saw my weight was going down I would still try and encourage him to do the WLS to help him get the weight off. I tried constantly to encourage him because I knew deep inside he was trapped and I understood because I was once there. There is a sadness we carry when we are big, its in our face, in our mood,its every where on us.

I would often would see his sister and ask for him and she use to say oh my brother looks bad, I don't think he will make it but I never seen her encourage him to do the right thing like eat right, going for walks or talked him in to going to the hospital. Even she wants told me oh the Gastric Bypass is dangerous and when she saw me she was surprised as I loss the weight.

During my journey, I did mine in private, I didn't tell friends the only ones who knew and matter most were my children who understood my battle and supported me along the way. I did my research, did my doctor appts and everyday I continued to do my research. I refuse to have people in my ear saying horror stories about WLS, because i refused to allow anyone to tell me its wrong to want to take control of my weight and live a healthier life...that's what some people do...they will say oh I hear WLS is dangerous...but putting 3 big macs in my mouth is safe?

I miss my friend dearly, I know the days of him struggling are over, he looked so at peace at his funeral but at the same time I wish he had the courage to do the WLS...as a friend I wanted to help him so bad. but in the end when making choices that has to do with your health only you know whats the right thing to do. I can't say WLS would have kept him alive today...if its your time to go its your time go and I understand that...I just felt like his quality of life would have been so much better.

During your journey we have to be careful with people that are enablers around us...your circle of friends have to be positive people that will support you decisions and leave behind those that help and continue to allow us to make poor choices (enablers) the ones that will say oh its just 1 cupcake, or its just 1 burger. You have to be strong minded enough to know whats right and whats wrong and look at the person you surround yourself with...are their intentions to help or hurt you?

Before surgery I would fight with my boyfriend and instead of talking it out he would buy me food so I could stuff my face....its like people will put a gun in your hand and let you blow your brains out without a single thought or any remorse.

This journey has saved my life from being trapped inside of a body i hated, it has made my health much better, i am learning to love me once again...I am no longer hiding in pictures in fact sometimes I think I am the star...I went from a size 32 to a size 12 since January 2013. I could not have loss this weight on my own, I was the type to go to the gym and reward myself after a workout with a chocolate cake and a slice of pizza....I was my own enemy and now I am my own cheerleader.

Obesity is not a game, people are dying, the health risks are serious...

when I was a big girl...I joined every BBW club there was for big beautiful women and the men that loved them and that was my excuse to eat...(I had no issues getting a man)but I was not happy with who I was....

I say all of this to say, take control of your weight, do your research, ask questions, dump old friends and gain new friends...surround yourself with positive people and do the best you can...we are human and even after surgery we do fall off the bandwagon...its getting back up and taking control which makes you stronger.

Sorry this was long, but I am hurting, I miss my friend, and I truly wish I could have helped him..,but more important i wish he could have helped himself.

Take your health seriously, this journey is filled with ups and downs and bumps in the roads but don't give up it gets better...I can give you so many reasons on what I could do now in my body that I couldn't do before but it would take all day...lets just say I am Blessed!

[Anniesmom12 181]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss! I will pray for peace for your heart.

I too used to surround myself with people who were helping me kill myself. I joined some BBW clubs, never had trouble getting a date...but deep inside I was so unhappy with myself!

Thank you for this post, it reminds me where and why I started this journey! I am by no means close to being at goal (89 lbs to go!) but I am no where near where I started.

My thoughts and prayers are with you today! May your heart be lightened and your sorrow be less!

[life_after_gastric_bypass 214]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss! I will pray for peace for your heart.

I too used to surround myself with people who were helping me kill myself. I joined some BBW clubs, never had trouble getting a date...but deep inside I was so unhappy with myself!

Thank you for this post, it reminds me where and why I started this journey! I am by no means close to being at goal (89 lbs to go!) but I am no where near where I started.

My thoughts and prayers are with you today! May your heart be lightened and your sorrow be less!

Thank u so much I truly appreciate you

[sgc324 4]

Good morning. My thoughts and prayers are with you. You have wonderful memories for 18 years that no time can ever erase. You are a good friend and a source of inspiration to us all.

[life_after_gastric_bypass 214]

Good morning. My thoughts and prayers are with you. You have wonderful memories for 18 years that no time can ever erase. You are a good friend and a source of inspiration to us all.

Thank u so much

[nursejb 38]

God bless life_after_gastric_bypass I truly agree with everything you said in your post.Through your words and pain you are ministering to us all who are in the trenches of trying to win against this struggle and epidemic of obesity! I am aa healthcare provider I will have surgery this month, I see many beautiful people come into the hospital and are so sick because of food! obesity is truly a disease we have to fight everyday for our health. You are an inspiration I'm sure your friend was proud of you and now God bless his soul he is resting in peace.

[life_after_gastric_bypass 214]

God bless life_after_gastric_bypass I truly agree with everything you said in your post.Through your words and pain you are ministering to us all who are in the trenches of trying to win against this struggle and epidemic of obesity! I am aa healthcare provider I will have surgery this month, I see many beautiful people come into the hospital and are so sick because of food! obesity is truly a disease we have to fight everyday for our health. You are an inspiration I'm sure your friend was proud of you and now God bless his soul he is resting in peace.

Thank u so much for your kind words, and good luck on your new journey and enjoy your new life thanks again