Broke up with a "friend" today

[Kellyk2511 282]

I knew it was going to happen. She has become completely jealous and resentful of my surgery. She's looked down upon me and always points out the negative side effects. Today we totally had it out and got into it. She said hurtful mean things and we both agreed we aren't going to be able to get past it. She thinks I can just do whatever, not workout and the weight will fall off, while she has to work at it. I told her I'm working my ass off working out and I could gain it back without diet and exercise and she said the "purpose" of the surgery is to lose weight without doing any of that. I was shocked and asked her if she really believed that. This was her response....

"But it is so different. U don't have to. If u never worked out u would still lose weight, that's the purpose of the surgery"

So I said "Absolutely 100% not true. At my first meeting they say you will lose in the first year, but gain it back without proper diet and exercise. The purpose of the surgery is not to be able to lose weight without working out. Is that really what you think?"

And her response was this, " Yes. The purpose of the surgery is to lose weight. Otherwise why wouldn't a person just learn a proper diet and exercise to lose weight?"

I'm done. I've been having this argument for the last year with her and I'm so sick of defending my decision. It's not even like she's concerned about my health....it's all about her own insecurities.

Sorry to vent. Just so hurt and annoyed and pissed off at the same time.

[vicki s 146]

same thing happened to me when I was sleeved, she lives right next door to me and she hasnt talked to me in almost 3 yrs,...I was so upset for so long, and now Im glad to rid myself of toxic people, they will only drag you down....she said the same things to me...almost word for word! move on, I learned who my real friends were, they will lift you up...she is not a true friend...

[futuremrsparker 288]

I'm so sorry... I'm sure that hurt. She is SO wrong! I had the surgery and if I don't exercise, I don't see the scale move at all. It literally WON'T move if I don't. I hope she isn't considering this surgery if that's how she truly feels because it would be a huge waste of her time and money.

I hope you are ok. Unfortunately, we are all warned of this kind of reaction from people. Remember, you are stronger than you think! Maybe she will figure it out someday, maybe not, but right now you can't afford the negativity. If you need a woman to vent to, feel free I inbox me anytime. you're doing fabulous! Keep your chin up!!!

[ElleG 394]

Friends accept friends for who and what they r. They support them and have their backs no matter what. I have done things from going with a friend for abortions to helping friends leave abusive mates. I may not agree or not support them going back after we went through this but as a friend I have to just b there.

This lady is not your friend, she is jealous and it's best to just let her go. It's sad when u have to do that but a friendship can't b one sided.

[zuzuspetals 78]

I'm sorry this happened to you.

I was one of those people who thought surgery was the easy way out. It was ignorance, pure and simple. Once I started researching it, and of course now that I'm in it I know how blasted hard this all is and how I am working twice as hard to get the weight off now than I was before the surgery.

It's hard to lose people from your life but until she can support you, you are much better off.

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

I'm sorry this happen but look you have all of us here. We are your friend your rock your support system.

[pookybear 284]

I'm sorry you had to go through that I think most of us have been there in one way or another. In the long run you will be better off, you need people in your life that care for YOU, not just themselves.

[mamafine23 101]

No one can truly understand unless you have been there....I'm sorry that you lost a friend but you deserve better...this was a sacrifice for all of us and there is nothing easy about it

[ajustice 484]

I lost a friend about 2 weeks ago. Can't remain friends with someone who called me a cheater and had the easy way out. I feel sad for it but that's NOT a real friend. If we had open heart surgery to correct a heart issue would that be cheating? Obesity is just as serious usually and is just as real of a problem. You do have us here and I think it's the one thing about people come along for a season or a reason. Good luck!

[irishkat 14]

So sorry

Just keep your head up. It's just jealousy. If they only knew the truth of what our lives are like. This surgery is a tool not an escape route.

[ren0318 81]

WOW, I'm really sorry too that this happened to you. I'm thankful that my closest friends are very supportive, my sister on the other hand is very backward thinking and doesn't research or read about anything so she is really ignorant about the subject, I've not told her that I have a consult in a few weeks, but when I brought up the idea to her, she went off. "You are not fat enough to have that surgery" WHAT? It's not a matter of being "fat" enough its a matter of being extremely unhealthy and having diseases that can kill us and the damage the extra weight is doing to our bodies.

You are doing what's right for you:) Keep your chin up you don't need friends like that!

We are here for you. Good Luck

[shawna29 60]

Think of it as additional weight loss. If she's dead weight in your life, then drop her. Get some friends who will encourage you to improve even more.

If this was a boyfriend who was negative and degrading, you'd dump him. So, toss your hair back, put on your sunglasses, and strut right out of her life.

SD:8/21/13

[marymcg62 23]

I'm so sorry this happened to you, Some people are just ignorant on the subject it should be as easy as everyone thinks it is! How gray would it be if we didn't have to worry about eating enough Protein, drink enough fluids, take Vitamin for the rest of our life's, live with the fear that you'll eat the wrong thing & go through a "dumping " episode,& have your skin hang off your bones if you don't exercise, or worse yet go through another surgery to fix that. Don't get me wrong , I'm so happy I've had this done & I'm lucky that my family are all supportive. Just remember you have all of us who understand & are here to cheer you on & have shouldered for you to cry on, or ears so we can hear you vent, that's what supportive friends do. Hope you have a better day tomorrow. Peace, Mary

[Kellyk2511 282]

Ok so she's still on my Facebook news feed, and Irish saw she posted this:

Um, take your own advise!