how to answer questions from family

[ballmomof3 0]

I have my first appt Thursday, so I'm new here. My husband is very supportive, as he always is, however my mom keeps asking why can't I just diet, why do I need surgery. I don't have a great answer, except I have tried, unsuccessfully for 17 years, and I need help. Does anyone have advice. I also have another question, these are the only two people I have told, besides one friend who has done it already.... Do you tell people you had surgery???

[music1618 879]

My mom was supportive, but would ask questions to make me think hard about my decision. She finally asked why now. I had been thinking about it for years and she wanted to know why had I decided I was ready for it. It was a simple answer. I was ready because I could no longer clean personal areas in the shower. That was my breaking point. From then on she stopped asking questions. As for telling other people - I have been open and honest about my surgery. I wanted to spread the good news - I made a choice to live not die miserable. However it is a very personal choice - tell or don't tell.

[oldoneyoungagain 200]

I have my first appt Thursday, so I'm new here. My husband is very supportive, as he always is, however my mom keeps asking why can't I just diet, why do I need surgery. I don't have a great answer, except I have tried, unsuccessfully for 17 years, and I need help. Does anyone have advice. I also have another question, these are the only two people I have told, besides one friend who has done it already.... Do you tell people you had surgery???

Even though I'm one of the oldest on the forum, your statement about your mother hit home. If my mother were still here she would have asked the same question of me. Your answer was great, I might have added "Mom, does it look like dieting these last 17 years has helped me? It looks obvious I need something more that will let me succeed to make me healthier and keep me that way". "I think mother you want that for me also." By the way yo-yo dieting is the most unhealthy thing for your body and that is what we do so we do need something that helps us keep the weight off in order for our bodies to be healthier. As far as telling other people that would be up to you. You'll get positive support and negative support. But you do have the best support already, your husband and all of us here on this forum. Good luck.

[Crkrjax76 76]

I have not kept it a secret. But like the previous post said, it's a very personal decision to tell or not.

[clmomof2 16]

I am having mine done in 8 days. I have my husband wgo is respectingn my decision, yet worried that something goes wrong. Our families are abroad his arein Italy and dont know. Mine are in Puerto Rico and nly told my sisters because we arevery close and I needed at least one of them here as a strong pilar. My mother recently found out and reserved her opinion. As with everything some will agree others will not. Just be positive and follow your decision. At the end only you know if it will be good for you, if you are ready.

[Chelle 59]

I wasnt going to tell ANYBODY but my husband, but as this pre-6 month thing has gone on, I have slowly told more people. Just my close friends. Its sad that it has to be so hard sometimes, to share something that is going to literally save your life!

My mom had the surgery in the early 80's when they were still feeling things out- and had every side effect and problem possible. My dad cursed the surgery ever since she had it and up until the day my mom died (even blaming her ovarian cancer that killed her, on bypass surgery!)....so my goal is for him to not know I am having it. He will flip a lid!!!!

[KellyLessBelly 31]

I have told family members, co-workers, friends, but I'm definitely not shouting it from the mountain top. I have gotten some of the weirdest responses. One woman told me, immediately after her overhearing my conversation with a friend about the upcoming surgery, that I should try this diet that her daughter did. I thought, "Didn't she just hear me say I'm having surgery, that I've tried 35 diets, pills, programs, etc. and they haven't worked?" The ironic part is that this woman is near 300 pounds herself. If her secret diet is so amazing, why is SHE still obese? My advise is to just tell who you want to tell and not tell who you don't! You can't avoid 100% of the negativity, but you can avoid a lot by choosing not to divulge unnecessary info to people who aren't generally supportive of you anyway!