freinds/family acting weird...

[DerickM 1]

any bandsters notice freinds/family changing? I swear a couple of them are bound and determined for me to fail! becuase they are skinny but quite frankly not all that good looking. It is like they are afraid I will "steal" thier g/f or the women will ignore them when I go out on the town with them. I say: Fu*k them! I have had women "move along" to them after I was chatting with them becuase they were "more interesting"

Has anyone else had this problem? am I even making any sense? Sorry if I ain't, pain meds are making me high as a kite. :heh:

[Kat817 19]

Things like this often show us who our true friends are. I had one friend distance herself from me---and in my case it was not a jealousy issue with her, but a control issue. She did not want me to have surgery, and I did. As I re-gain my confidence she drifts (or maybe is pushed) further away.

I think others change, but also we change, and true friendship will change right along with us...superficial ones will not.

Must be one of those live and learn things!

Welcome to bandland by the way!!!

Kat

[lisah25 3]

LOL-since you are still on the pain meds, I'd hold off deciding if anyone's behavior has changed. Altered reality and all that.

But yes, I do think some people have a hard time when someone else changes things. I was the jolly fat one in my circle, we'll all have to readjust to me as I change. And some won't like it.

[giveyouthemoon 4]

Oh man...having the band and losing a LOT of weight really brings out weirdness in people. Tell them to kiss your newly tiny ass and go out and shake that thang!

You can only be who you are every minute of every day. Just be that and let the rest fall out where they may.

Congrats on the band!

[Kat817 19]

LOL Karen!!! I agree, for the most part. Do not change who you are for anyone---it is temporary at best. BUT that being said, I have to play devil's advocate for a few minutes....

Sometimes after being banded we focus on nothing else---you know how it is when someone talks of nothing but their new job or their dog...or new baby---whatever.....sometimes that's us with the band! It is making such huge changes within us, that we expect everyone to be as interested in it as us---and it isn't always so!!!

That's one of the best things about LBT we can talk it to death!!!

Just give your friends a chance, they are likely worried you WILL change more than just your appearance!

Now, if they are mean about it----you know what to do!!!

Kat

[Dani-X 0]

Kat,

You said it! I've thanked my boyfriend so many times for just listening to me. Between being banded 4 months ago and all the pre-op talk, it has to be tough for him but he's a trooper. Sometimes he doesn't have enough to say about it to hold a conversation but he let's me chat about it which is what I need. I couldn't have done this without him!

As far as jealous friends go, I'm facing a similar situation but mine is with family. After dropping 50 pounds you would think they'd have said something to me. Nope - in fact, that ignore me now. I've reached out to try and get them to see that it's still me but they won't budge. They don't know I had the surgery and I won't tell unless I'm specifically asked. Aside from one of my cousins, they are all overweight. The cousin who ISN'T overweight, used to be - you'd think she'd understand it better than anybody else but no...

As much as it hurts and as much as it makes me angry, I just smile and think about the person who I really care about and who I really did this for... ME! I don't need everybdy's support - just the ones that matter most to me. Thank God I have that.