Crystalynn Alhashim 4 Posted July 10, 2013 So my friend of more than 15 yrs rarely speaks to me. Ever since I told her I was having the gastric bypass done she has slowly stopped texting, emailing or calling me. What do you guys think about that? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Band Mom 3 17 Posted July 10, 2013 So my friend of more than 15 yrs rarely speaks to me. Ever since I told her I was having the gastric bypass done she has slowly stopped texting' date=' emailing or calling me. What do you guys think about that? [/quote'] I think you hit the nail on the head: jealousy! Is she overweight? The only other thing may be that she is worried about losing you and is pulling away before you can leave her. I've read that a lot of spouses start acting funny, like your friend is. If she's worth keeping, then pull out all the stops and get her back. Good luck! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Crystalynn Alhashim 4 Posted July 10, 2013 Yea she is overweight. She just text me get well soon skinny b. :/ My husband hasnt starting acting weird maybe because its only day 7. I hope he doesnt flip out though :/ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
irishkat 14 Posted July 10, 2013 Yea she is overweight. She just text me get well soon skinny b. :/ My husband hasnt starting acting weird maybe because its only day 7. I hope he doesnt flip out though :/ My best friend of 19 years does the same thing to me. Doesn't contact me much & when she does she calls me skinny B. I'm only 2 weeks post op. I'm far from being a skinny B. lol I think they are afraid we will b thinner than them & ditch them. 1 Band Mom 3 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chelle 59 Posted July 10, 2013 The friend situation is tough. I have a friend who had bypass surgery 4 months ago, and I can understand the feelings. I am watching her drop the weight, she looks great and feels great. Moreso, she has all this ambition and energy and wants to go do things that I know will make my knees ache and I just dont have the stamina for. Its hard to listen to all of the things she wants to do...knowing she is growing in a completely different direction. I only say this because she may be feeling the way I am feeling. Perhaps having a very frank discussion with her about how your friendship will be changing....because it likely will. Good luck! Chelle 1 Band Mom 3 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nicolebishop91 25 Posted July 10, 2013 My best friends since 3rd grade have been acting funny as well. Both women and married and have kids, but both are over weight. I almost feel like they are friends with me because I am bigger than them, and now that I wont be, they dont want to be the "bigger friend". smh. I do how ever have a friend who I have known for about a year and she is a size 6, and has already offered to give me some of her larger clothes. While the "lose" of my sisters hurts, there are always positive people out there. You just have to find them. If you ever need a friend, my inbox is one click away. And I am so going through the husband thing, he is afraid I am going to get skinny and leave him. I swear men don't think. If he loves me for how and who I am now. Then why in the world would I leave him? I tell him that every time he expresses concern. I hope your friends come around. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Crystalynn Alhashim 4 Posted July 10, 2013 That is so messed up that people you have known for so many years do that I am glad you have your size 6 friend. I am actually thinking of finding a friend who has also just recently had surgery so we can workout n etc together. Its so hard though.. Hoping I find a friend to share my frrustrations and concerns with Too bad your not in Nebraska we could b buddies But I will defin inbox ya My husband is very handsome and fit, but he has made comments about me losing weight and leaving Of course he accepted me as I was He also supports me 100% percent in everything I set out to do. So they are silly to think we would leave them 1 nicolebishop91 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kellyk2511 282 Posted July 10, 2013 Yes, my good friend basically doesn't want to hear anything about my weight loss. And that sucks because last year she lost 40 pounds and I encouraged her the entire time. 1 irishkat reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrskchelle 4 Posted July 11, 2013 I know this situation is tough. I have been on both sides of the situation. 3 years ago, my mother in law had her bypass. We are so very close, but it was so hard for me to watch her lose and lose weight when I was not and I was even gaining. Something about seeing your mother in law skinnier than you is very hard. Maybe it was pride or maybe it just was a constant reminder of how overweight I was and how little I was doing about it. Now, here I am, on the other side of my surgery (3 weeks out today) and I recognize how I acted and felt. And yes, it is jealousy, but not necessarily because they don't want you skinny and healthier, but more so because they feel insecure and defeated about their own situation. Just hang in there. It's very likely, the newness of your surgery will wear off and they will start being normal again. If not, there are certainly other people who will be a strong support to you and share in your victories. Best of luck to you! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280 Posted July 11, 2013 My best friend is over weight we been friends for over 7 years. She is happy for me & she began losing weight before I had WLS. Now I'm slim she isn't yet but is smaller then before & I'm with her all the way. She has never said anything negative about me & I encourage her to stay healthy. That's how a friendship should be. I'm super excited for her she lost a lot of weight but she did it alone with a lot of work. I'm proud of her. I hate when I hear of others being jealous. Why? They are skinny or about to be skinny? That's dumb!!! Men if our ass didn't leave when we were extra juicy. Now we leaving cuz we are boney lmbo give me a break. "Counting the months till plastic surgery" 1 tlynn4love reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ElleG 394 Posted July 11, 2013 I wish we lived in a world where all people were loving to each other. All differences were accepted and appreciated. It's heartbreaking when someone u care about / love starts treating u different for any reason. The terms of the relationship should be unconditional, but that's in the perfect world in my head. You can't control other people, how they feel, think or react. Try to talk to ur friend if she doesn't come around u have to ask yourself was she really ur friend Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CaseyLopez2013 5 Posted July 11, 2013 I'm fixing to have gastric bypass and I'm scared to tell my friends because of jealousy issues . They are all overweight as well we have went to diet centers together and gyms but now I'm going to have the surgery and I'm excited but I'm Scared of the jealousy with my friends as well .... Would you tell them or not I don't know what to do? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Crystalynn Alhashim 4 Posted July 11, 2013 Casey, I think if I was I would tell them just so they know, because whether you tell them or not they will find out eventually, best of luck. Im losing my best friend :/ I hope things go great for you, good luck with your surgery!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CaseyLopez2013 5 Posted July 11, 2013 You think they would be supportive !! Sorry to hear that and best of luck to you!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nikkiba75 276 Posted July 11, 2013 Relationships will change once you start losing weight I get family telling me you can't get smaller than me My boyfriend is constantly telling me I think I'm all that I found myself getting checked out more by men Like they say some people are in our lives for a reason and some just for a season Don't let anyone make you feel bad about saving your life Sent from my iPad using RNYTalk 1 kloveburd reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
