Dating: "I think you are perfect the way you are" guy

[TexasRose 0]

Have any of you run in to the rare "I think you are perfect the way you are physically" guy?

Did you feel a little suspicious of him?

Would he encourage you to gain weight?

Thoughts?

[NewBeginnings2018 81]

I dated that ellusive man for five years. I was a size 18 when we met and he LOVED my body - I mean LOVED my body. He never, ever once said one thing about my weight but he did not encourage me to gain weight either. If I complained he would tell me that I looked great and that all he was concerned about is that I was healthy.

There were a lot of other problems with this relationship though, and I ended up gaining over 60 lbs and was a size 24 by the time we broke up.

So yeah, the "perfect the way you are" guy didn't work out for me too well. lol

Seriously though it was wonderful to be with a guy like that, and I always considered myself lucky for that piece of the relationship if nothing else.

[babygrl1234 6]

I had a boyfriend who loved fat girls. Weirdest obsession ever. Every girl he dated and still dates is overwieght. Funniest thing is he is a skinny little thing himself.

[Wheetsin 714]

My husband is that guy. Met and married when I was thin. As I ballooned up he never said anything about it. With my 20/20 hindsight I wish he would have.

Suspicion wasn't an issue before we were married b/c I wasn't fat then.

If I were single & dating now, and met a guy who said that, I'd like to think I'd know whether or not he was sincere. If I detected insincerity, I would mosty definitely be suspicious. Lots of potential for cruel ulterior motives there.

[wavydaby 1]

I married the "I think you are perfect" guy. We met and I did gain a lot of weight(up to 350), but I was not a skinny minnie by any stretch of the immagination at first( around 240). He loves me for who I am. And yes, he did (very past tense) have some issues with me losing weight. But that had more to do with his own insecurities than with wanting me to be fat. His sister and his best friend's wife both lost a lot (100 lbs plus for each) and turned around and left their husbands. It took a lot for me to do some damage control with him and tell him, I love him. And to point out that both of them had some serious problems in their marriages that we just do not have. Their weight loss seemed to be the straw that broke the camel's back for some reason or another.

[beversman 0]

My husband WAS that guy. Up until the day he left he told me that I was the most beautiful woman in the world.

Then one day he left without explanation.

I, of course, blame the weight, but maybe im wrong.

I wont ever know the reason.

[Josette 2]

My hubby is one of those guys. Loves me even at 393 pounds. He's terrified I'll leave once I'm skinny. He's insecure. I think some women leave their husbands once they lose the weight because insecure men become jealous and hound the hell out of you because they think you're leaving when you're not. We're having some issues with that because at just 40 pounds lost he's already trying to make me account for every second he doesn't know where I am, who I'm with and what I'm doing.

[kyethra 0]

I am married to one. When I first brought up wanting to lose a lot of weight he was a little nervous that I wanted to be skinny. He prefers women who have some curves in general. So I explained that no, I was not going for skinny, and I didn't even think that would be an option for me, that I just wanted to get down to a healthier weight and not be underweight or look like a model. He was perfectly pleased with that answer and has been supportive of me eversince no matter what phase I am in, whether its the "screw this stupid diet that doesn't work. I'm ordering pizza and don't count how many slices I eat phase" or "I really need you to help me keep track of what I'm eating" phase.

He's actually a little worried that after the band it will be too hard on me to have no junk food and thinks that maybe we should have a little bit of stuff I like in the house so he can ration it out to me for when I get bad cravings and ease away from it gently. He wants it all to be as easy on me as possible so I'm more likely not to binge, etc.

[Lee4love1 0]

If you have a guy like him--appreciate his gesture and ignore him until the cows jump over the moon. I have been with a Woman like that. I was going through my weight loss without banding--each time my wife got a chance to see me naked--she said I looked sick or something close to it. Avoid these people--trust me--My divorce was well worth it....I am getting banded within 20 days

[TexasRose 0]

I've just met Mr. 'Like You The Way You Are' and he seems genuine - in the limited face-to-face time, thus far. With 50lbs left to go, he said that he does not think that I am overweight and that everyone is built differently. Said he loves my curves and he thinks that I am perfect the way I am. Confuses me!! I guess I just think back to all of the other bad relationships or ones that were truncated because of my suspicion of the weight (though, no one ever admitted it). I'm just being extremely cautious. Would be WONDERFUL if he proves my suspicions wrong...guess we'll see what happens!

[andreerichards1 4]

My husband love me for me, and we have been married for almost 16 months. But I'm getting piss off, everyday he tells me " when u get your band and you lose all the weight your going to leave me" I hope he really doesn't mean that anyone else had that problem?:help:

Andree

[gadgetlady 4]

I am married to a man who loves me no matter what my weight is. He's worth his weight in gold. He always encourages me in whatever endeavors I undertake, including the band. He's a gem.

[laralynn86 0]

I think I've had a lot of luck in the men I've dated for any significant amount of time - there's not been a lot, but with all of them I've felt they're genuinely ok with me as I am. However, I'd get all weird and insecure and start asking what, exactly they liked about me. If you like me because I'm smart or funny or cynical or whatever, and I'm ok with it. But if you like me because I'm attractive, it clearly means you're either lying or have serious issues. It's hard to be OK with someone loving you when you hate yourself.

My boyfriend now is great and amazing and wonderful. I honestly believe he loves me exactly as I am (he's not so crazy about how I dress, but I dress as I do because of my weight). He's also very supportive about my getting banded, without crossing over into too pushy about it. HOWEVER, he does give me the "you're going to leave me when you're skinny" line a bit too often. He did get divorced from his (ex)wife immediately after she was banded, and likes to say I'll leave him like the last one. However, it was a long-time coming and she really didn't leave him because she got skinny. It was more something she did to jump-start a different life as she was getting divorced. I understand where she's coming from - I just have to remind him of it. I think he's joking usually, but I also that he has some genuine insecurities here.

[Lee4love1 0]

Oh...yes I recall hearing that from a few of my Lady friends. I am not their boyfriend, but I hear--"You will not want me--cause I am a larger Woman. One lady who says this--size 16 at 5'10"--now I am just 5'9" at 270--I still think it's beneficial to my health as I am about 25 days away from being banded....Now that I say I am getting banded--she says--"maybe it's time I do the same"...mmmm--makes me wonder

[niecyrenee 2]

I am one of the lucky ones who is married to this guy as well! My husband is so wonderful when it comes to things that I am sensitive about. I was heavy when we started dating and he has watched me grow over the years and has always treated me great! I can't say that he hasn't been concerned for my health because of my weight and family history but he has never belittled me because of it.

When I started exploring the band he wasn't certain of it because he was afraid that something would go wrong and he would lose me. After we discussed it a lot and researched it thoroughly, we decided to go ahead with it. He made it very clear that he loves me just the way I am but that if I needed to do this for me, that he would be right there for me.