How do I respond?!?!

[sunshine413 343]

I am 8 months post op today!!! I have two questions. I need some input on how to respond best to the following statements that I hear pretty regularly:

* * You look so great/fantastic/amazing!!

-----> I never thought I'd struggle with a response to this as "Thank you so much!" has been sufficient up to this point. Now when I say that, the person just sort of stares at me...should I respond with how much I've lost? How I'm working at this? What?? I have no idea?!?!?

***Secondly, and this one has surprised me...and has been more stressful than I imagined...I hear this from friends, "I am so fat and unhappy. I need motivation. Help me." Uhhh...I am JUST learning success with weight loss. I have NO IDEA how to be helpful in this situation!!

Ideas would be greatly appreciated!!

Thanks in advance,

Sarah

[Cherry 71]

I like your post - I have been going through this too. NO ONE knows I had WLS, so in a way, I feel a little bit guilty when my friends are saying I look great and asking how I am losing the weight. I have been a yo-yo-er my entire life so they are all use to me losing weight, and have ALWAYS asked this. I continue to say that I am avoiding starches/heavy carbs and no sugar - along with Portion Control. Although that IS indeed true, I feel a tiny bit like a liar.

[sunshine413 343]

Cherry, I don't think you are being the LEAST bit deceptive!! WLS is a tool- not a be all, end all for weight loss struggles, and while my surgery is not a secret, both of Our success happens as a result of daily decisions to be better than we were yesterday. I've lost small amounts here and there, but nothing like now. I want to help others as much as possible, but I am feeling a strange pressure from the cries for help.

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

I also don't mention I had WLS those who know already know,but new people or ppl you see on a daily basic. I simple say diet,and exercise,and I have the name,and number to my dietician dr. Labrutto and a lot of times they drop the subject. They don't want or need help they want to be noisy and find out why my ass went from fat mooooooooooo cow to tiny Maybelin lmbo

I did give the dietician number to a few ppl that were interested they claim the md didn't take there insurance,but I asked the dietician he said no one mention your name at all so I wouldn't know if they actually call me or not,but I haven't had any new person come in.

That's to show you that ppl talk to talk..... I had ppl say you cook so good "when I make parties I make a hell of a party" I'm the best of the best,but when they ask me well how do you make blah blah and I start getting into details they drop the subject they wanna eat it the food. They don't give a crap how I cook the food.

I also say I avoid bread Pasta and too much rice which is all true

[BBdoodle 483]

I am pretty private person and when people ask or say "wow you look good, you lost weight" I say THANKS !!!! and thats it !!! and start talking about something else. If they ask "how" I say diet and exercise !!! My medical history is no ones business unless its my close family/friends. Please do not feel obligated to tell everyone who asks your business unless you want to tell them. Just say "thanks for the complilment" and if they ask how "diet and exercise". And that is the truth... aren't we all dieting and exercising??? I know I am Don't let people pressure you !!!

[oldoneyoungagain 200]

I'm having the opposite problem. The people I work with know that I had the lapband and lost half of the weight I needed to lose (that part they don't know). Now that the band had to be removed and going on to have RNY, they are asking why am I going through another surgery, I'm looking fine and don't need to lose anymore. What they don't understand, is that I am not yet healthy. Has anyone else been told they are looking good and don't need to lose anymore, when in fact your not near your goal or still battling health issues related to the extra weight?

[MissNikki27 54]

Just smile and say thank you....you can tell them that you are watching what you eat and you're more active which is the TRUTH.

[norasinclair 19]

I am 8 months post op today!!! I have two questions. I need some input on how to respond best to the following statements that I hear pretty regularly:

* * You look so great/fantastic/amazing!!

-----> I never thought I'd struggle with a response to this as "Thank you so much!" has been sufficient up to this point. Now when I say that' date=' the person just sort of stares at me...should I respond with how much I've lost? How I'm working at this? What?? I have no idea?!?!?

***Secondly, and this one has surprised me...and has been more stressful than I imagined...I hear this from friends, "I am so fat and unhappy. I need motivation. Help me." Uhhh...I am JUST learning success with weight loss. I have NO IDEA how to be helpful in this situation!!

Ideas would be greatly appreciated!!

Thanks in advance,

Sarah[/quote']

Keep it short and sweet " I eat healthy ,drink plenty of Water, take my Vitamins and I workout on the regular" then smile and say want to join me?

[JustJenn 542]

I am 8 months post op today!!! I have two questions. I need some input on how to respond best to the following statements that I hear pretty regularly:

* * You look so great/fantastic/amazing!!

-----> I never thought I'd struggle with a response to this as "Thank you so much!" has been sufficient up to this point. Now when I say that' date=' the person just sort of stares at me...should I respond with how much I've lost? How I'm working at this? What?? I have no idea?!?!?

***Secondly, and this one has surprised me...and has been more stressful than I imagined...I hear this from friends, "I am so fat and unhappy. I need motivation. Help me." Uhhh...I am JUST learning success with weight loss. I have NO IDEA how to be helpful in this situation!!

Ideas would be greatly appreciated!!

Thanks in advance,

Sarah[/quote']

OMG!!! I have been struggling with this too post op. I never feel like thank you is enough, do they want more info? Ugh! I just smile and say thanks and change the subject quickly!!!

Secondly, when did I become the weight loss guru? I am just learning and by no means claim to know how this works for all. I hate that now others have turned to me to complain about their bodies, food, and exercise or lack there of. I just say good luck with that weight loss is hard!

I never spoke about my weight loss struggles with anyone because I felt I was past the point of hope to be healthy. Now people ask me for advise and what to eat? It's weird.

Surgery date 7/25/12

[sunshine413 343]

I am very open with most things in my life. I would call myself transparent. People know I run...and I run a lot. I can't magically crown someone with motivation. I tell everyone that they're welcome to run with me...I have a friend who hasn't said anything about my weight loss (105#!!!), but she seems to complain constantly. I even offered to drive across town to her house to go walking...which proves Mami's point that people talk to hear themselves.

[deaddemmama 474]

I tell people I'm on a medically supervised fiet

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

I tell people I'm on a medically supervised fiet

I'm gonna use this line

[kiwiladydee 402]

I tell everyone!! Someone shared it with me to get me started and I've had 1 person I personally motivated. I share to hopefully inspire others who were in a never ending weight battle. I can't focus on the haters.

Sent from my iPhone using RNYTalk

[kristy3k 1,133]

kiwi... I tell everyone too... I have lost 191 freakin pounds.... how the hell do you think I feel.... on top of the damn world. I want to tell everyone how I did it... it has been that life changing. So much so that I almost get weepy when I think how unhappy I was in my old body. I love the new me... I love the tool that was given to me...if I can inspire one person who is walking in the shoes I was walking in then it is a gift I will happily share. For those who dont want to give the details... you are an inspiration in the way you have changed your life .. so much so that they are asking how you did it.

[deaddemmama 474]

I could care less about coworkers, etc. But the in-laws...nope