Holding back the tears

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

* I hate when the past is mention with untruth to it.

* I hate being put down

I'm being strong & maybe stronger then ever. Hubby today said I was bad luck since he left a sign he needed made in a hardware store. I was home decided to take the kids to McDonald for a snack before the park. Hubby was outside approach kids & I said maybe you shouldn't touch them they might give you bad luck. He walked away. Time passes...

I was minding my business in the kitchen. All the sudden I honestly don't know what happen that he went off on me. Saying his mother picked me off the streets. I was never on the streets. I was a working teenager & I was in school. I was looking for a room to rent & I went to live in a room I rented. I wasn't living there for free. If this woman decided to feed me I'm going to eat. If she decided to reach me how to cook or the basic or have a conversation yeah I was going to talk to her. I lived in her house. She was wonderful to me. That's how I met my now hubby threw her. She figure I was a good woman for him even though I was a teenager. So him saying she got me off the streets it's false. He starts bashing my nationality. I'm pure Dominicana he is Puerto Rican. I told him if he had issues with me why did he get together with me. We started arguing.

I know the up set part of me is talking right now but I think after I'm fix it won't take to long & maybe leaving with my teenager by the time she is 18. We won't need to suffer so much.

Maybe my bills will be paid by then.

Maybe I won't have money.

Maybe I won't have a place to live.

I will have peace love happiness and that's what I need. I will work out my bills & such as it comes.

[deaddemmama 474]

It really sounds as though you're at the end of your rope! I hope you get it all figured out! Do you have any family you and your kids can stay with! Stay safe ....you're great!

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

It really sounds as though you're at the end of your rope! I hope you get it all figured out! Do you have any family you and your kids can stay with! Stay safe ....you're great!

Yes I'm at the end of my rope,but rent isn't cheap so I will have my surgery,and save money until the day I move out. I was searching,and looking around,and did find some places. I'm going to check out one of the places,and it's not housing,but they charge you rent according to your income. I'm not moving yet,but looking,and searching makes me feel like I'm in control,and I'm able to move on with my life. Until I don't go out there to look with my eyes how would I know where I might be moving to. It's in an area I have no idea but there is a huge park in front. I want to go in the day time,and at night time when the action begins so if there is drug dealing or funny business going on I'm not going there again that's why I don't want to leave this place. Morning day or night and we have camera on the property. Nothing ever happens here that's why I feel safe but whatever. I will search till I find the perfect place.

[deaddemmama 474]

I know it will all work out for you....you're a force to be reckoned with! I feel for your housing problem. When I was a single mom I tried to get low income housing. It wad frustrating and the lift wad do long I finally became eligible after si gad graduated from college. By then I didn't nerd it anymore.

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

I'm glad it work out for you. I'm willing to move out anytime after next year. Surgery is 1st. I did all my calculation & I will make it. Come on SSD for me.... I really need to be approve will make my life so much easier you know they help you more once they find out your disable,and have disable kids,and then spouse abuse,and child abuse. I can't have so much bad luck. Something has to work out for me.

[JustJenn 542]

Money can't buy happiness. Keep your head high and reconsider the timing of moving out for you and your kids.

Surgery date 7/25/12

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

I know it will all work out for you....you're a force to be reckoned with! I feel for your housing problem. When I was a single mom I tried to get low income housing. It wad frustrating and the lift wad do long I finally became eligible after si gad graduated from college. By then I didn't nerd it anymore.

Just got a call from SSD I should be getting a letter by mail to see the doctor from the state to check out my back,and make a decision on my case. Wish me luck..

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

Money can't buy happiness. Keep your head high and reconsider the timing of moving out for you and your kids.

Surgery date 7/25/12

So true.... With my daughter being 18 she is able to hold down any job,and she can be added to a lease so it's better for me to wait just a little bit. Plus in the time I find a place,and god knows wait for section 8 to open I'm going to come up with rent money,and mind you I don't work. Waiting on SSD so I need every penny I can find,and get. Waiting 2 years it's better then waiting 4 years.

[deaddemmama 474]

Good attitude...get the bell rolling. Smart move

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

Good attitude...get the bell rolling. Smart move

SSD called me again... I just need to sign a paper so the doctor can release all my information,and we can get the ball rolling... OMG!! can this be a sign that my life will change soon? I will have extra money to move out of here? humm