Mother in law

[GG'sArtsMom 42]

My mother in law told my husband that once I lost the weight I was going to leave him. When he told me that I almost flipped- how dare she? This goes to show what she thinks of me, and of our relationship. My husband is my best friend, and has always been supportive of whatever makes me happy. Our love has never been based around the fact that we were fat together. I have zero desire to leave my husband, he understands I will change going through this, but I have always been very independent and done my thing, just at the end of the day we are besties. I am so hurt by this and don't even want to speak with her right now. I know others have dealt with these types of nasty comments and I just need a little support right now.

[oldoneyoungagain 200]

You've got it on this forum. Remember the saying keep your friends close but keep your enemy even closer. Definitely keep your mother in law close because it sounds like she would like her son back. You will win this battle no doubt.

[GG'sArtsMom 42]

Thank you so much. I'm sure she would love her son back, so yeah, I will keep her near and dear. It was just such an upsetting thing to hear. We've been happily married for six years, I'm not going anywhere!!

[Anniesmom12 181]

I had a simular experience with my mother in law. I am my husbands 3rd wife (LONG story) but the first 2 cheated and left him (the 2nd one cheated and divorced him while he was in Iraq in the Army) but she told him once I lost weight I'd leave him too or cheat on him...that he'd better keep me like I was! Needless to say she and I had a "Come to Jesus" meeting about all that chatter!! He and I have only been married 3 1/2 years...but honey we have been through HELL with the baby mama's for his two kids...and still have issues with other things dealing from his Army days (he's out processing now) if I didn't leave because of all that "stuff"....losing weight wont cause me to leave either! He's dieting and exercising along with me and losing weight too! I love my husband and my mother in law just needed me to explain that too her in VERY clear language. Now she's very supportive of BOTH of us living a healthier life style!

[shawna29 60]

So sorry to have to put it like this, but your mother in law is ignorant. Keep reassuring your husband, you two are best friends and that's not something you mess with. Tell your husband you don't just love him, but that you're IN LOVE with him. All the best to you!

[GG'sArtsMom 42]

So sorry to have to put it like this, but your mother in law is ignorant. Keep reassuring your husband, you two are best friends and that's not something you mess with. Tell your husband you don't just love him, but that you're IN LOVE with him. All the best to you!

Thank you, and I suppose you are right about her ignorance. I wish it didn't bother me so bad, but it does. She not only insulted me but played right into my husband's insecurities. Him and I had long ago discussed what life would be like as me thin, and I reassured him I was madly in love with him regardless of my physical appearance vs his. I want to be his hot wife, even though he already thinks I am.

Anniesmom- I'm not sure if I will tell her I know, I don't want to open a can of worms and I don't like causing scenes, which that may do. How did you start the conversation off?

[Anniesmom12 181]

Thank you, and I suppose you are right about her ignorance. I wish it didn't bother me so bad, but it does. She not only insulted me but played right into my husband's insecurities. Him and I had long ago discussed what life would be like as me thin, and I reassured him I was madly in love with him regardless of my physical appearance vs his. I want to be his hot wife, even though he already thinks I am.

Anniesmom- I'm not sure if I will tell her I know, I don't want to open a can of worms and I don't like causing scenes, which that may do. How did you start the conversation off?

I just sat down with her and told her about my struggles with my weight my whole life, and that I had discovered this tool that would help me be healthy so her son and I could live a long happy healthy life together. That my intentions were to be an example for both him (who had not the most healthy habits since leaving the Army, he had gained a considerable amouth of weight before I met him) and my 16 year old daughter (who struggles with her weight because I have not been the example I needed to be for her) and that I loved her son very much and was confident that he and I would be able to maintain our very happy loving relationship no matter what size either of us were. And that with the new healthy lifestyle changes and weight lost we would be able to participate in the rasing of our children (he has 2 from previous marriages, 15 yo son and 4 year old daughter in addition to my 16 year old daughter who lives with us) for many years without having to be on medications, disability due to health issues or depend on her and my father in law to raise their grandchildren because we couldnt. She listened, she told me she was sorry for making such an assumption and said she felt I was doing the right thing! Totally changed her attitude towards me and the surgery! But I went about it very easy....not like I wanted to...I first wanted to rip her head off...LOL... but I do not want a bad relationship with my inlaws. Now we are all good...and my hubby's lost about 65 lbs and they tell him how great he looks!!

[GG'sArtsMom 42]

Anniesmom- thank you. I am undecided still whether to bring it up, but this will help me remember to keep it friendly since I have many years of my life to share with her.

Thanks everyone for your support!