So ashamed!

[Crkrjax76 76]

I have my final NUT appt Wednesday and I'm so ashamed. I haven't been eating less and better. Instead, I think I'm still having my food funeral. It seems like everything I see, I want to cram it in my mouth!!! The Dr. had me do the 2 week liquid diet at my first NUT appt and I did very well with it. Lost 14 lbs. It was hard, but I managed to do it. But for the last 2 months, it just seems like I can't get enough to eat!!

I do feel that I'm mentally ready for this surgery. I'm so ready to start losing. Things I won't miss keep going through my mind. Being able to actually walk in a store and buying clothes instead of online. Being able to actually get tennis shoes on and tied. Being able to go outside and play with my son. Not going to concerts and movies because I can't fit in the seats. (passed up going to Bon Jovi because of that). Going to a restuarant and having to ask for a table because there is NO way I'm going to fit in the booth. Wearing my seat belt comfortably. Always driving my van because of being afraid of not fitting in someone else's car. I could go on and on and on.

I'm sitting here in tears now as I type this. I'm so afraid of this failing too. I keep thinking, everything else I've tried has failed, why not this too? I know I've got to do this! I've got severe sleep apnea, start of high blood pressure, my feet and ankles swell so bad I can't wear anything but flip flops. I want to do this so I can be active with my son. Right now, I can't do anything with him! Not even take him to the movies!!!!

I guess I'm rambling, but I know you guys will listen to me and not judge me!!! I guess I'm looking for some encouragement.

[deaddemmama 474]

Nobody's perfect. Be honest with your Dr.and nut and get back on the horse. I think it's more important to recommit to your new way if life and way less important to dwell on the past. You can do this and today is a new day!

[oldoneyoungagain 200]

Crkrjax76

What you said "I'm sitting here in tears now as I type this. I'm so afraid of this failing too. "

I've been there with weight, with marriages, but I decided to change the word from failing to "falling". (I play mind games with myself) With falling I seem to be able to pick my self up, dust myself off, and try, try again. So I no longer look at it as being a failure, as what happens to you in life is always a learning lesson, and I have learned my dictionary does not have the word "failure" or the word "can't". Remember your child needs a mother, your husband needs a wife, and you need them both to complete yourself. So put yourself first, because you need those loved ones and don't let the word "fail" win your battle, you win it for yourself by fighting for your life. You can do it, because it is obvious this is what you want. Your doctor is behind you, your "nut" is behind you, your family is behind you, this forum is behind you so when you get scared reach out. You will succeed and win this battle.

[Anniesmom12 181]

I did the same thing! about a month before my surgery I thought I'd die from all the food I wanted "just one last time".... but after about a week I just lost all interest in the food, drinks and goodies....thank goodness!

Truth is you are ready, or you wouldnt be able to see that you want this change. I kept telling myself that I was ready, I'd picture all of the things I would be able to do after surgery...and I was able to let go of the food that had kept me captive all of my life. I honestly could not remember a time that I fit in a booth comfortably, a theater seat, concert seat.... or wore a seatbelt! But when I reached for food I thought I wanted...I'd picture what I really wanted and it helped. Now 9 months out I can tell you this truly is a life saving/life changing tool ! it's worth giving up the food for!! I can buckle a seatbelt with no problems, my husband and I go to the movies a lot now....and I dont have to worry about fitting in the seat! and i have so much energy to do things!

So take a deep breath... focus on the post op success you'll have and get ready... you will NOT FAIL this time!

[Obeasta 92]

You will not fail, i promise.

I went through the same as you. And 7 weeks after the op i am on 286 pounds (from 333).

You can do it. And you WILL do it. Why? Because you are choosing life.

x

[Crkrjax76 76]

Thank you guys so much!!!!

[babs963 201]

I did the same thing about 3 weeks before my surgery I had my last weigh in with the NuT and I think I gained 10 lbs the 3 weeks prior. I was in tears myself at the thought I gained 10 lbs in 3 weeks. But since the day of my surgery 2/26/13 it's been wonderful. The surgery is definitly a tool, one that I am very happy to have. I love my small pouch!!! It forever reminds me that I can't over eat and if I gain a pound that's a reminder as well that I need to keep pushing forward.

You can do this!

[chatwidow 5]

I did the same thing and was warned several times my surgery would be canceled if I gained weight. Two months before my surgery I spent a week in Santo Domingo sipping margaritas and putting on the pounds! I had to go on a crash diet a month before surgery but it worked, I lost the weight and had the surgery. It happens to all of us and doesn't mean you're a failure -just human like the rest of us. Hang in there!

[brandnewme2013 97]

I have my final NUT appt Wednesday and I'm so ashamed. I haven't been eating less and better. Instead' date=' I think I'm still having my food funeral. It seems like everything I see, I want to cram it in my mouth!!! The Dr. had me do the 2 week liquid diet at my first NUT appt and I did very well with it. Lost 14 lbs. It was hard, but I managed to do it. But for the last 2 months, it just seems like I can't get enough to eat!!

I do feel that I'm mentally ready for this surgery. I'm so ready to start losing. Things I won't miss keep going through my mind. Being able to actually walk in a store and buying clothes instead of online. Being able to actually get tennis shoes on and tied. Being able to go outside and play with my son. Not going to concerts and movies because I can't fit in the seats. (passed up going to Bon Jovi because of that). Going to a restuarant and having to ask for a table because there is NO way I'm going to fit in the booth. Wearing my seat belt comfortably. Always driving my van because of being afraid of not fitting in someone else's car. I could go on and on and on.

I'm sitting here in tears now as I type this. I'm so afraid of this failing too. I keep thinking, everything else I've tried has failed, why not this too? I know I've got to do this! I've got severe sleep apnea, start of high blood pressure, my feet and ankles swell so bad I can't wear anything but flip flops. I want to do this so I can be active with my son. Right now, I can't do anything with him! Not even take him to the movies!!!!

I guess I'm rambling, but I know you guys will listen to me and not judge me!!! I guess I'm looking for some encouragement.[/quote']

I was like you maybe even worse. I hit up all my favorite restaurants eating all my favorite foods not because I was hungry but I just had the mentality that this is it ( even though for most foods its really not). However when it came time for me to go on my 2 wk pre op diet i knew I had to pull myself together no matter what. Everything will be fine the at least you are noticing the way you are eating and are trying to fix it now. Good luck on your journey and I hope it gets easier.

[kristy3k 1,133]

If what you say is true... we are all failures. All of us have an unhealthy addiction to food and that is why we got to the size we are. Pull up your big girl panties, get back on track and do what you have to do to be able to have this life changing surgery. You got this!!!

[terry1118 1,274]

I was like you maybe even worse. I hit up all my favorite restaurants eating all my favorite foods not because I was hungry but I just had the mentality that this is it ( even though for most foods its really not). However when it came time for me to go on my 2 wk pre op diet i knew I had to pull myself together no matter what. Everything will be fine the at least you are noticing the way you are eating and are trying to fix it now. Good luck on your journey and I hope it gets easier.

I think we've ALL done this to some extent. I did it quite a few times myself. I'd get to thinking 'I'd better have a calzone now, because I'll never have this again'. Same with cake, ice cream, candy, chips, fried seafood, and donuts. And then the thing I was trying to savor never really tasted as good as I expected it to. The satisfaction wasn't there. That helped me buckle down and be more reasonable the last ten days before my surgery. Stop beating yourself up and move on. You will do fine... the rest of us did! :-)

[terry1118 1,274]

I did the same thing! about a month before my surgery I thought I'd die from all the food I wanted "just one last time".... but after about a week I just lost all interest in the food' date=' drinks and goodies....thank goodness!

Truth is you are ready, or you wouldnt be able to see that you want this change. I kept telling myself that I was ready, I'd picture all of the things I would be able to do after surgery...and I was able to let go of the food that had kept me captive all of my life. I honestly could not remember a time that I fit in a booth comfortably, a theater seat, concert seat.... or wore a seatbelt! But when I reached for food I thought I wanted...I'd picture what I really wanted and it helped. Now 9 months out I can tell you this truly is a life saving/life changing tool ! it's worth giving up the food for!! I can buckle a seatbelt with no problems, my husband and I go to the movies a lot now....and I dont have to worry about fitting in the seat! and i have so much energy to do things!

So take a deep breath... focus on the post op success you'll have and get ready... you will NOT FAIL this time![/quote']

Anniesmom has a good point. Instead of thinking only of the things you won't be able to have, try following the negative with a positive. Try "I'm not going to be able to eat ******* but I WILL be able to *******!". Like "I'm not going to be able to eat a whole bag of Doritos anymore but I WILL be able to fit in that cute dress I like." Substitute whatever personal goals you wish to get from this surgery. It's motivational and puts things in perspective. :-)

[deaddemmama 474]

When I was nearly ready for surgery si woke up at my usual ungodly hour and my first thought was " how can you have this surgery..you LLOOVVE FFOOODD!" Then I realized that was exactly the problem...I loved food but it didn't love me. When I realized how addictive my relationship with food had become, I could admit it was a problem and begin to change my thinking. I still love food but today I don't let it rule me...at least for today, one day ar a time.

[nclori2002@yahoo.com 0]

I did the same thing and was warned several times my surgery would be canceled if I gained weight. Two months before my surgery I spent a week in Santo Domingo sipping margaritas and putting on the pounds! I had to go on a crash diet a month before surgery but it worked' date=' I lost the weight and had the surgery. It happens to all of us and doesn't mean you're a failure -just human like the rest of us. Hang in there![/quote']

What was your crash diet? I have 8lbs to lose before my nut appt on the 24th and it is so hard for me to lose any weight. I'm eating healthy and everything. I just need some help with these last 8 lbs! Please any advice would help!

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

In right here!!! You can do this. I was on so many diets over a period of 10 years. Then I decided it was time & I did the diet meal plan went great. I had the funeral food my last rice so I thought it was Lolz I'm a tiny woman now. If I did you hell yeah you can. Eat to survive don't let food get the best of you. I eat to live not live to eat.