I wanna scream!

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

I'm going to be brutal here & I'm very sorry but... I'm 109 pounds because I have will power. I didn't change my family menu.

Who had surgery me why? Live longer have energy get slim.

I can't stop my hubby from wanting a slice or sitting at the dinner table. He is not fat & it would be rude for me to ask him to leave cuz I have no self control or will power.

Before we had surgery we knew our family eat chips & junk food. I do all the cooking & shopping. I buy chips why should I stop. I change my life style not my family. I fried meat why not that's what I cook. I give my kids soda mainly weekends. juice. I buy them McDonald but not often.

I had surgery not my family. I can't change there life or my cooking. I can only change my self. If it was going to bother me so much watching my family eat I would had reconsider the decision of WLS. Plz have will power & be strong. You change not your family.

No one wants to be force to eat salad when they are used to pork chops. Have a broccoli when they are used to pizza. Have low fat chips when they are used to regular.

I would hate to have someone try to change me.

I know I'm gonna make enemies & get pinch like my Italian friend say but I went into this surgery knowing everything junk soda all. I'm not getting fat ever again. I refuse!!! They can eat the junk I'm good with my cafe & fish and healthy stuff. I hate being fat & refuse to be fat again...

Will power will power will power... It's hard he'll yeah. You want to be fat or slim down not a size 1 like me but he'll yeah not plus size.

I love you all I'm sorry I had to speak up!! Be strong

[pookybear 284]

I'm going to be brutal here & I'm very sorry but... I'm 109 pounds because I have will power. I didn't change my family menu.

Who had surgery me why? Live longer have energy get slim.

I can't stop my hubby from wanting a slice or sitting at the dinner table. He is not fat & it would be rude for me to ask him to leave cuz I have no self control or will power.

Before we had surgery we knew our family eat chips & junk food. I do all the cooking & shopping. I buy chips why should I stop. I change my life style not my family. I fried meat why not that's what I cook. I give my kids soda mainly weekends. juice. I buy them McDonald but not often.

I had surgery not my family. I can't change there life or my cooking. I can only change my self. If it was going to bother me so much watching my family eat I would had reconsider the decision of WLS. Plz have will power & be strong. You change not your family.

No one wants to be force to eat salad when they are used to pork chops. Have a broccoli when they are used to pizza. Have low fat chips when they are used to regular.

I would hate to have someone try to change me.

I know I'm gonna make enemies & get pinch like my Italian friend say but I went into this surgery knowing everything junk soda all. I'm not getting fat ever again. I refuse!!! They can eat the junk I'm good with my cafe & fish and healthy stuff. I hate being fat & refuse to be fat again...

Will power will power will power... It's hard he'll yeah. You want to be fat or slim down not a size 1 like me but he'll yeah not plus size.

I love you all I'm sorry I had to speak up!! Be strong

You tell 'em mami!

[paigelarson89 19]

I'm going to be brutal here & I'm very sorry but... I'm 109 pounds because I have will power. I didn't change my family menu.

Who had surgery me why? Live longer have energy get slim.

I can't stop my hubby from wanting a slice or sitting at the dinner table. He is not fat & it would be rude for me to ask him to leave cuz I have no self control or will power.

Before we had surgery we knew our family eat chips & junk food. I do all the cooking & shopping. I buy chips why should I stop. I change my life style not my family. I fried meat why not that's what I cook. I give my kids soda mainly weekends. juice. I buy them McDonald but not often.

I had surgery not my family. I can't change there life or my cooking. I can only change my self. If it was going to bother me so much watching my family eat I would had reconsider the decision of WLS. Plz have will power & be strong. You change not your family.

No one wants to be force to eat salad when they are used to pork chops. Have a broccoli when they are used to pizza. Have low fat chips when they are used to regular.

I would hate to have someone try to change me.

I know I'm gonna make enemies & get pinch like my Italian friend say but I went into this surgery knowing everything junk soda all. I'm not getting fat ever again. I refuse!!! They can eat the junk I'm good with my cafe & fish and healthy stuff. I hate being fat & refuse to be fat again...

Will power will power will power... It's hard he'll yeah. You want to be fat or slim down not a size 1 like me but he'll yeah not plus size.

I love you all I'm sorry I had to speak up!! Be strong

Than why are you telling us that its hard from the temptations, and I never said they couldn't have that stuff just make it easy on yourself, and when they want it they can have it just not in front of you, and I'm talking about the candy, pop, and chips, but obviously not when your eating a meal. Maybe you need to sit down with the family, and let them know that you still crave some of the things, and come up with a plain that could help both sides. I'm not trying to sound mean, but I think and this is my opinion, but it makes it easier, when you do it has a family, and its never hurt anyone to eat healthier, and I would think that your family would do it with you if you asked, and maybe have a couple nights a week, more or less and let them have pizza, and like I said have the snacky food kept out of your sight tell it gets easier, but maybe if you bring your concerns to your family, maybe you guys could come up with a plan, but thats just my opinion

[deaddemmama 474]

That's what I did when my husband took the family to the restaurant. We sat down and I explained why buffets obviously wouldn't work for me.We decided that when we go out we would go someplace I could eat and he could take our sons to buffets. He's not a big snacker so that's not a problem. We agreed as a family we would eat healthier before I ever had the surgery but if he wants Mcdonald's who am I to stop him?

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

That's what I did when my husband took the family to the restaurant. We sat down and I explained why buffets obviously wouldn't work for me.We decided that when we go out we would go someplace I could eat and he could take our sons to buffets. He's not a big snacker so that's not a problem. We agreed as a family we would eat healthier before I ever had the surgery but if he wants Mcdonald's who am I to stop him?

That would be a good thing but if you have the I don't give a rat butt about your surgery or your feelings you are stuck smelling the pizza pie.

I don't want to be mean but even from that moment the md put me on that 28 day diet 2 liquid if I made it threw I said hell yeah! I'm gonna get slim. I was tired of being fat & refuse to have pizza & junk control my life. Do I crave it? Honestly barely I have had it but I can easily pass it & have an apple fruit salad. I know they say easier said then done but I had WLS and I survive. I'm alive I eat healthy so I made it. I reach goal so anyone can make it.

[paigelarson89 19]

That's what I did when my husband took the family to the restaurant. We sat down and I explained why buffets obviously wouldn't work for me.We decided that when we go out we would go someplace I could eat and he could take our sons to buffets. He's not a big snacker so that's not a problem. We agreed as a family we would eat healthier before I ever had the surgery but if he wants Mcdonald's who am I to stop him?

I agree with you, McDonald's every once in awhile, I think communication is very important, and something like gastric bypass we need all the support, and it is nice that you guys came to an agreement with going out to eat. I wish you the best of luck

[saramichelle 127]

I'm going to have to respectfully disagree:). If we had this willpower I doubt we would have needed wls in the first place. Plus if your having a hard time controlling a craving why would you want to put yourself in such a difficult situation to begin with. Better to set yourself up for success in my opinion. A struggling alcoholic would not be smart to go to a bar so why would we do something that seems very similar to me to ourselves??? This is a lifestyle change we have to make and in order to do so we must change our environment the way a drug addict would no longer hang out with user friends. Plus I totally agree that family can benefit from a healthier diet. It's not about the fact that my son is not fat. It's about the health benefits of a good diet not just being fat or skinny. Ok so now that being said I def agree that you can't change everybody in your life and to say that if so and so eats this then I can't succeed is definitely going to cause failure. You have to take responsibility for your own actions and choices for sure. I just think if you can change the lifestyles of others around you for the better then great:). If not then find a way to work around it. Mami I think you are wonderful and such an inspiration to me and to many others and I am in no way offended by what you said It's great and inspiring that your willpower is so strong. Just for some us that may not be the case:)

[oldoneyoungagain 200]

That would be a good thing but if you have the I don't give a rat butt about your surgery or your feelings you are stuck smelling the pizza pie.

I don't want to be mean but even from that moment the md put me on that 28 day diet 2 liquid if I made it threw I said hell yeah! I'm gonna get slim. I was tired of being fat & refuse to have pizza & junk control my life. Do I crave it? Honestly barely I have had it but I can easily pass it & have an apple fruit salad. I know they say easier said then done but I had WLS and I survive. I'm alive I eat healthy so I made it. I reach goal so anyone can make it.

Totally agree with you on this TinyMamiof3kids. I learned early in life "when someone tries to control your life they aren't in control of theirs". In fact a psychologist told me that and I found this to be so totally true. My husband, when he was alive, was very worried about what he ate in front of me, he would apologize which made me feel it was my fault he couldn't eat it. I had to reassure him that it was totally okay he could eat whatever he wanted, if I couldn't have it I would fix myself something else. Potato chips were always around, he ate them, I didn't. He had french fries, I didn't, he would make Cookies and eat them, I didn't and that list goes on. My weight loss, just as yours, was for me and only me and I had to do it for me. If I didn't do it for me then I might as well sign my own death certificate because it will be my fault, no one elses as they didn't put that food in my mouth, I did. Anyway that is my opinion and believe you me I haven't even got half your will power. And you have done a fantastic job with your weight loss.

[deaddemmama 474]

Just my husband's way of supporting me I guess. But we're all in different situations and I guess we all have to work it out with our families as best we can. I do agree that the world's not going to stop eating because I had wls...my choice how I deal with the supportive and not - so - supportive as well sd everyday situations.

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

Good luck everyone... I guess it must have been a combination of age & being wiser now that made me make the big decision on having WLS. That gave me the extra push I wasn't or didn't have the will power I do today if I didn't have WLS. Maybe it would had been possible with out WLS but I was about to have a knee replacement if I didn't lose this weight fast. I save my knee by having WLS & I'm proud to still have a good working knee lmbo

[terry1118 1,274]

I'm going to have to respectfully disagree:). If we had this willpower I doubt we would have needed wls in the first place. Plus if your having a hard time controlling a craving why would you want to put yourself in such a difficult situation to begin with. Better to set yourself up for success in my opinion. A struggling alcoholic would not be smart to go to a bar so why would we do something that seems very similar to me to ourselves??? This is a lifestyle change we have to make and in order to do so we must change our environment the way a drug addict would no longer hang out with user friends. Plus I totally agree that family can benefit from a healthier diet. It's not about the fact that my son is not fat. It's about the health benefits of a good diet not just being fat or skinny. Ok so now that being said I def agree that you can't change everybody in your life and to say that if so and so eats this then I can't succeed is definitely going to cause failure. You have to take responsibility for your own actions and choices for sure. I just think if you can change the lifestyles of others around you for the better then great:). If not then find a way to work around it. Mami I think you are wonderful and such an inspiration to me and to many others and I am in no way offended by what you said It's great and inspiring that your willpower is so strong. Just for some us that may not be the case:)

Well said.

[Cherry 71]

WOWOWOW This is a good thread!!!!

This isn't about one vs. another, although I agree with much of what TinyMamiof3kids said. I am SURE she realized she wasn't going to be getting kudos for what she wrote but I definately understand her comments and agree.

I know a ton of people and read a ton of posts here about people who are struggling in part due to their "partners" and family members. Another person here related the food addiction to that of an alcoholic and I totally agree with that....

When you make this decision and you risk your life to receive a medical intervention - you HAVE to consider the affect this will have.... and your live-in partners are definitaly a part of that atmosphere.

I read another thread where a woman's hubby brought home a cream pie not even 2 weeks after she was post-op. He said it was a GIFT for her and presumed she would eat it because it was soft. THAT HORRIFIED ME FOR HER!!! Yes, eventually the hubby admitted that HE was the one who wanted to eat the pie, but I found the whole situation to be sooooo sad and dysfunctional and a contributor to why WE FAIL!!! We fail because we are not unified - our family sabatoges us time and time again - our friends do it too (some out of jealousy). But for some reason WE ALLOW THEM!!!

food is NOT better than you!!!!

I am REPULSED by the foods I see my family eating and the portion size - just as I was repulsed by myself when I did the same, yet I couldn't always stop myself. Watching them eat GOBS AND GOBS of food, saddens me and breaks my heart. It is so unhealthy and damaging. At least with alcohol, you can stop because you won't need alcohol to live, like you need food to live.

YES IT CAN BE DIFFICULT but you MUST find the motivation and committment to not eat it anymore. YES this is indeed willpower at its best. However, this does NOT absolve your loving partners from thier responsibility to SUPPORT you and love you in a healthy manor.

I think it is mean and selfish for partners to continue to "flaunt" their foods in front of you. But someone here said it well - that you cannot change them. But you should tell them how you feel about it

COMMUNICATION

I think so many people do not understand the dysfunctional dynamic way in which people react when there is a change. People are losing thier eating partner. They are watching as ONE person does something to help themselves, and they don't know what to do - it's change and that scares many people. In some cases, things get really bad - divorces happen even, and the one who changed always gets blamed - even when they did nothing bad or wrong.

[heather200202 73]

WOWOWOW This is a good thread!!!!

This isn't about one vs. another' date=' although I agree with much of what TinyMamiof3kids said. I am SURE she realized she wasn't going to be getting kudos for what she wrote but I definately understand her comments and agree.

I know a ton of people and read a ton of posts here about people who are struggling in part due to their "partners" and family members. Another person here related the food addiction to that of an alcoholic and I totally agree with that....

When you make this decision and you risk your life to receive a medical intervention - you HAVE to consider the affect this will have.... and your live-in partners are definitaly a part of that atmosphere.

I read another thread where a woman's hubby brought home a cream pie not even 2 weeks after she was post-op. He said it was a GIFT for her and presumed she would eat it because it was soft. THAT HORRIFIED ME FOR HER!!! Yes, eventually the hubby admitted that HE was the one who wanted to eat the pie, but I found the whole situation to be sooooo sad and dysfunctional and a contributor to why WE FAIL!!! We fail because we are not unified - our family sabatoges us time and time again - our friends do it too (some out of jealousy). But for some reason WE ALLOW THEM!!!

food is NOT better than you!!!!

I am REPULSED by the foods I see my family eating and the portion size - just as I was repulsed by myself when I did the same, yet I couldn't always stop myself. Watching them eat GOBS AND GOBS of food, saddens me and breaks my heart. It is so unhealthy and damaging. At least with alcohol, you can stop because you won't need alcohol to live, like you need food to live.

YES IT CAN BE DIFFICULT but you MUST find the motivation and committment to not eat it anymore. YES this is indeed willpower at its best. However, this does NOT absolve your loving partners from thier responsibility to SUPPORT you and love you in a healthy manor.

I think it is mean and selfish for partners to continue to "flaunt" their foods in front of you. But someone here said it well - that you cannot change them. But you should tell them how you feel about it

COMMUNICATION

I think so many people do not understand the dysfunctional dynamic way in which people react when there is a change. People are losing thier eating partner. They are watching as ONE person does something to help themselves, and they don't know what to do - it's change and that scares many people. In some cases, things get really bad - divorces happen even, and the one who changed always gets blamed - even when they did nothing bad or wrong.[/quote']

I totally agree with what you and TinyMamiof3kids said. After I had my surgery I was so disappointed with my husband cause he was still eating the crappy food and junk food and I was seriously pissed off about it. Not cause I wanted the food was cause he needed to loose weight too and I though we could do this together. Well I was wrong!!! This caused a huge issue in our relationship and finally I sat down and we talked. Now my marriage is great and he can't eat whatever he wants and I will fix myself something else if I don't want what I make him. I can't change him and I feel bad that I tried pushing him into my way of life now. I have junk food in my house...cookies, chips, soda, and all kinds of crap. Somedays, yes, it's tempting but I have a 8x10 picture of the old me hanging on my fridge and that's all the reminder I need. You can't change anyone no matter the situation if they don't want to change. This was my choice and I have to do this. No one is responsible for the choices I make except for myself. Letting my husband have all this crap in the house has even the greatest thing for me. I have self control and a lot of it and I don't care if you want to eat a whole thing of cupcakes or Cookies in front of me....I will just smile and thank god I don't want that crap in my body anymore. The eat thing of all has happened and that is I've lost 100 pounds and my husband loves the new me and he's even changed his eating habits. He's eating more of what I eat, doesn't have as much junk food in the house, he still drinks soda but I bought him a sodastream which is better for him then regular off the shelf pop and he loves it. Many people will try to sabotage our new way of life but it will always be our choice if we let them and will be our fault if we let them.

HW: 331 SW: 11/26/12 319lbs CW: 219 05/26/13 GW: 157

[saramichelle 127]

I totally agree with the comment that being an alcoholic is different from being a food addict because you can avoid alcohol and don't need it to live. Food is much harder. You have to be around it every day and make that choice:)

[Dorian 683]

I am lucky that my entire family decided to eat healthier when I had surgery. I only cook healthy now, but if they decide they want pizza or something as a treat one night, I am not mad. I can sit in the room with them, I just eat something else. It was MY decision to have this surgery, not theirs. I am just glad that no one brings chips, Cookies, or soda into the house anymore!