Being Judged?!

[music1618 879]

I guess I have been really lucky. I did not have anyone that was negative about my surgery in the beginning stages. My in laws were the ones I was most scared to tell, but to my surprise my brother in law has been thinking about having it and they were very supportive.

I have been very honest when people ask me what I did to lose the weight I tell them. Especially if they themselves are overweight. I feel like it is my duty to show people that this works and not everyone has complications an issues or gain it back. I almost see as my chance to spread the good word.

I have one person that drives me nuts at work. She keeps telling me I am too skinny. She proclaims her happiness with her fat to everyone. Although she has gotten under my skin about it at times at the end of the day I feel compassion for her. One day she will wake up and realize she is not happy, and if I still know her I will tell her about my surgeon.

Remember most of the negative comments are coming from people that are jealous. For years we were considered the fat friend, and now we threaten that role in their lives. They know we will change and it is for the better. You are taking control of your life and standing up to live your life.

Good luck

[oldoneyoungagain 200]

I guess I have been really lucky. I did not have anyone that was negative about my surgery in the beginning stages. My in laws were the ones I was most scared to tell, but to my surprise my brother in law has been thinking about having it and they were very supportive.

I have been very honest when people ask me what I did to lose the weight I tell them. Especially if they themselves are overweight. I feel like it is my duty to show people that this works and not everyone has complications an issues or gain it back. I almost see as my chance to spread the good word.

I have one person that drives me nuts at work. She keeps telling me I am too skinny. She proclaims her happiness with her fat to everyone. Although she has gotten under my skin about it at times at the end of the day I feel compassion for her. One day she will wake up and realize she is not happy, and if I still know her I will tell her about my surgeon.

Remember most of the negative comments are coming from people that are jealous. For years we were considered the fat friend, and now we threaten that role in their lives. They know we will change and it is for the better. You are taking control of your life and standing up to live your life.

Good luck

You are so totally correct.

[countrygirl 84]

I don't know if I'm the only one who's dealt with this' date=' but some of my friends and family seem to be judging me for making this decision. "Are you sure you really need to do this?" "Have you really looked into this?" "Don't people gain the weight back?" "Why don't you just exercise and do Weight Watchers?"

I feel like I'm always defending myself. People think this is the easy way out. They don't realize how different my life is going to be from be moment after surgery until the day I die. They don't get that the extra 130ish pounds has caused health problems that prevent me from hitting it in the gym. Everything always hurts. I get winded so easily. And all the embarrassment I go thru at places like amusement parks where I damn near need a shoehorn to fit into the seat of a ride. I'm so frustrated by people who are supposed to support me being so hurtful.[/quote']

I know ur pain about weight . I have a very large woman I work with & we hile tslking to her about rny she says just diet...the nerve of her telling me tha t when ssh he is a bit larger then me...grrr!

[kristlynngirl 184]

Thank you all. So glad I'm not alone!

I know this is the right choice for me. I know I want to have energy and be healthy and live a long time.

[Mandee80 27]

I've told everyone... U guess I didn't think it would be that big of a deal. My family is 100% supportive and my fiancé just wants me to be happy and is on board all the way I have gotten the same thing as y'all... Like "why not diet and excersise"? Or the whole "I knew someone who died" I just smile and turn the other cheek... No one walks your shoes but you. And I'd rather take this change than continue how I am now and die from a health related issue! Some people just don't get it.

[Bevy Boo 6]

I am due to have my RNY next Tuesday. My friends have been supportive. But it will change the dynamic of the group I feel. I have always been the biggest in our little group. Now I am having surgery, am hoping that will change eventually as I have a long way to go!

However, my friends have also started on a diet, ok not as strict as the milk diet we have over here in England. They are doing weight watchers or slimming world.

What I can't get me head around is why start dieting now? Is it, because like they say they are supporting me, or is it because THEY don't want to be the biggest in the group?

Has anyone else had this sort of scenario where people you know have started on a diet when you have had/going to have WLS?

I know I should support them with their weight loss too, but I just wonder why now?

[Donnah 8]

I am due to have my RNY next Tuesday. My friends have been supportive. But it will change the dynamic of the group I feel. I have always been the biggest in our little group. Now I am having surgery, am hoping that will change eventually as I have a long way to go!

However, my friends have also started on a diet, ok not as strict as the milk diet we have over here in England. They are doing weight watchers or slimming world.

What I can't get me head around is why start dieting now? Is it, because like they say they are supporting me, or is it because THEY don't want to be the biggest in the group?

Has anyone else had this sort of scenario where people you know have started on a diet when you have had/going to have WLS?

I know I should support them with their weight loss too, but I just wonder why now?

I haven't had it happen to me, but saw something similar happen between two people I know years ago. One of my friends had RNY and lost about 250 pounds. When my other friend realized the surgery friend was losing so much weight that they would soon weigh the same, he said to me "I have to lose weight. I can't be the same weight as him. He's always weighed more. I don't want to be the fat one." I thought it was a sad statement.

I have heard that people do sometimes react differently when a friend loses a lot of weight. Partly, because we change as we gradually feel better about ourselves and interact with the world differently. People don't like change. I figure though that true friends will always be there- even in bumpy rides.

On a positive note, maybe your weight loss journey has inspired your friends to start a healthy life, and you all can share in each other's journeys.

[terry1118 1,274]

I have only told my husband, my kids, and some coworkers. My husbands family are very judgemental so they don't know. Ditto one coworker. I will happily share after the surgery when they have no choice but to accept it. I can do without the negativity beforehand. It is a personal decision.