terry1118 1,274 Posted May 12, 2013 In my workshop last week they discussed body image, how we perceive ourselves. They said many people who lose weight cannot get used to the idea of being smaller. In their mind they are always big. I am the opposite. In my mind I am small. I didn't become heavy until the birth of my twins 27 yrs ago, when I was 26 yrs old. Before that my weight ranged from 110-120. Afterward, my weight went from 175 all the way up to 230. (I'm 5ft tall) In my mind I picture myself the way I used to be. It's always a total shock to catch a glimpse of my reflection in a window or mirror. I think 'Oh my God! That is NOT ME!' I am horrified! It really HURTS my mind to see me like that. And there have not been any photos taken of me in YEARS. I simply have not allowed it. If anything ever happens to me my family will have no photos of me at all. Losing weight for me will make my outside match my inside again. I look forward to welcoming 'me' back. 2 DLCoggin and JoCoMom reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LilBoo007 491 Posted May 12, 2013 I feel the same way!! I picture myself thin... Like I used to be! I was a size 4 before I had my son 15 years ago and inside I'm still that same person and when I see myself in pictures or mirror I think OMG WHO THE "F" is this!!!!' Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
saramichelle 127 Posted May 12, 2013 Totally me too! I just can't wrap my mind around being morbidly obese. I have been this way for only a few years maybe about three or four and I never picture myself as big. It is shocking when I realize it. It is like my body is an entrapment holding back the real me:) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nel 189 Posted May 12, 2013 I also was thin my whole life *with bouts of fatness and horribly unhealthy starvation habits that finally blew my metabolism*. I have my mister take pics of me so I have the whole self realization. Let's face it, if you're like me you've had the whole "I can't see you, you can't see me" in your head with your own self image. We avoid mirrors, tight clothing and pics. I had tons of pics while I was thin, NONE now that I'm obese. Now I have Mister take them so I can face myself. The denial of, I'm not that big! I can eat that! is just that for me. Denial. I AM that big and I CAN'T eat that. 1 DLCoggin reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280 Posted May 12, 2013 Hello ladies I was never skinny/slim but I was will put together. I was thick but not fat like I had the huge boobs & butt no tummy slim arms & legs. I was comfortable with my body until age 17 135 pounds got pregnant gave birth age 18 didn't gain much 15 pounds during pregnancy but as time pass I notice I was packing on the pounds. After having 2 more kids its when I started really getting big from about 170 to 190 and when the scale hit 200 omg I thought I was gonna die. I then hit 211 and decided being fat is not for me & wala I'm not fat anymore. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
terry1118 1,274 Posted May 13, 2013 Hello ladies I was never skinny/slim but I was will put together. I was thick but not fat like I had the huge boobs & butt no tummy slim arms & legs. I was comfortable with my body until age 17 135 pounds got pregnant gave birth age 18 didn't gain much 15 pounds during pregnancy but as time pass I notice I was packing on the pounds. After having 2 more kids its when I started really getting big from about 170 to 190 and when the scale hit 200 omg I thought I was gonna die. I then hit 211 and decided being fat is not for me & wala I'm not fat anymore. When was your surgery and where are you now with your weight? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280 Posted May 13, 2013 When was your surgery and where are you now with your weight? I had WLS May 30, 2012 gastric bypass. I'm 113 pounds tiny woman looking like a teenager or in the 20's instead if 34 years old lmbo I'm doing great. Didn't plan on bring this small goal weight was 125 but its ok. I do need to gain 10 pounds before plastic surgery. I'm gonna have fun trying to gain cuz I find it impossible. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dorian 683 Posted May 13, 2013 My issue was that I never felt as big as I actually was. Make sense?? I would feel like I looked a lot better than I did. Then I would see a picture of myself and think, " OMG, is that me?" It was such a rude awakening that I actually was super fat! I have always been big, but when my back issues started getting worse, the weight just piled on. Hopefully in 6 months, ill actually look like I feel I look! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meganrvan89 11 Posted May 13, 2013 I had WLS May 30' date=' 2012 gastric bypass. I'm 113 pounds tiny woman looking like a teenager or in the 20's instead if 34 years old lmbo I'm doing great. Didn't plan on bring this small goal weight was 125 but its ok. I do need to gain 10 pounds before plastic surgery. I'm gonna have fun trying to gain cuz I find it impossible.[/quote'] Wow you have to gain weight for plastic surgery? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280 Posted May 13, 2013 Wow you have to gain weight for plastic surgery? Let me explain I don't have enough body fat to suck out in order to put it on my butt. I also need the fat to put it on my boobs since I don't want fake boobs. I want to have plastic surgery but with my own body & skin. Nothing fake but in order to do so I have to gain a little weight so the fat can be suck out. I'm thinking boobs & tummy & butt or boobs and butt. No matter what I have a new surgeon that charges $23,000 not $35,000 like the other one but I will have most likely $15,000 by my birthday 12/7 missing $8,000 so seriously thinking since I need body fat gain 10 lbs inject it in boobs & butt then do the other fixing later on ugh! Thinking what to do lmbo Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meganrvan89 11 Posted May 13, 2013 Let me explain <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' /> I don't have enough body fat to suck out in order to put it on my butt. I also need the fat to put it on my boobs since I don't want fake boobs. I want to have plastic surgery but with my own body & skin. Nothing fake but in order to do so I have to gain a little weight so the fat can be suck out. I'm thinking boobs & tummy & butt or boobs and butt. No matter what I have a new surgeon that charges 23' date='000 not 35,000 like the other one but I will have most likely 15,000 by my birthday 12/7 missing 8,000 so seriously thinking since I need body fat gain 10 lbs inject it in boobs & butt then do the other fixing later on ugh! Thinking what to do lmbo[/quote'] Oh wow if I end up having those types would be boobs and but lol but I'm afraid ill have saggy skin do if I end with any of that would rather get that removed Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
terry1118 1,274 Posted May 13, 2013 My issue was that I never felt as big as I actually was. Make sense?? I would feel like I looked a lot better than I did. Then I would see a picture of myself and think' date=' " OMG, is that me?" It was such a rude awakening that I actually was super fat! I have always been big, but when my back issues started getting worse, the weight just piled on. Hopefully in 6 months, ill actually look like I feel I look![/quote'] I would be very happy to look like I feel. I'm under no illusions that I will ever look like I did at 26. After all, I am a 'mature' woman! Lol Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
music1618 879 Posted May 13, 2013 In my workshop last week they discussed body image' date=' how we perceive ourselves. They said many people who lose weight cannot get used to the idea of being smaller. In their mind they are always big. I am the opposite. In my mind I am small. I didn't become heavy until the birth of my twins 27 yrs ago, when I was 26 yrs old. Before that my weight ranged from 110-120. Afterward, my weight went from 175 all the way up to 230. (I'm 5ft tall) In my mind I picture myself the way I used to be. It's always a total shock to catch a glimpse of my reflection in a window or mirror. I think 'Oh my God! That is NOT ME!' I am horrified! It really HURTS my mind to see me like that. And there have not been any photos taken of me in YEARS. I simply have not allowed it. If anything ever happens to me my family will have no photos of me at all. Losing weight for me will make my outside match my inside again. I look forward to welcoming 'me' back.[/quote'] In my workshop last week they discussed body image' date=' how we perceive ourselves. They said many people who lose weight cannot get used to the idea of being smaller. In their mind they are always big. I am the opposite. In my mind I am small. I didn't become heavy until the birth of my twins 27 yrs ago, when I was 26 yrs old. Before that my weight ranged from 110-120. Afterward, my weight went from 175 all the way up to 230. (I'm 5ft tall) In my mind I picture myself the way I used to be. It's always a total shock to catch a glimpse of my reflection in a window or mirror. I think 'Oh my God! That is NOT ME!' I am horrified! It really HURTS my mind to see me like that. And there have not been any photos taken of me in YEARS. I simply have not allowed it. If anything ever happens to me my family will have no photos of me at all. Losing weight for me will make my outside match my inside again. I look forward to welcoming 'me' back.[/quote'] So I have really thought about this post the last few days. I too was like you and saw myself as an athletic soccer player wearing a fat suit. You said you would not have body image issues, but honestly you do and so did I. I am 11 months post op and have lost 115 lbs. I feel incredible and look completely different. I have been heavier most of my adult life, but not really due to eating. I have rheumatoid arthritis and have been on steroids for years to help control it. It is a miracle drug on one hand and the ugliest drug in the other. I had this surgery so that I could hopefully get off of it. It was a cycle - take the drug feel better but continue to gain weight and feel bad. While I did not have the self esteem issues of someone who had been obese all through childhood there are some scars of being heavier than what I saw in the mirror. I was self conscious when I are in front of people or went to a Buffett. These things have to do with your body image. You talked about not having your picture taken in years. People will treat you differently than you have been treated the last few years. It is actually sad to me, and the questions always pop in my head. Was I really that disgusting looking fat? Was I unapproachable fat? Was I as happy I thought I was? All these questions have to do with your body image. I guess what I am saying is be prepared to face some demons you did not know were there. The body image issue is much broader than you realize. It's not that I don't see myself skinny. It's that I am surprised at how happy I am with it. I hope this helps a little. This journey will take you to new highs and some lows so be prepared! Good luck!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280 Posted May 13, 2013 So I have really thought about this post the last few days. I too was like you and saw myself as an athletic soccer player wearing a fat suit. You said you would not have body image issues' date=' but honestly you do and so did I. I am 11 months post op and have lost 115 lbs. I feel incredible and look completely different. I have been heavier most of my adult life, but not really due to eating. I have rheumatoid arthritis and have been on steroids for years to help control it. It is a miracle drug on one hand and the ugliest drug in the other. I had this surgery so that I could hopefully get off of it. It was a cycle - take the drug feel better but continue to gain weight and feel bad. While I did not have the self esteem issues of someone who had been obese all through childhood there are some scars of being heavier than what I saw in the mirror. I was self conscious when I are in front of people or went to a Buffett. These things have to do with your body image. You talked about not having your picture taken in years. People will treat you differently than you have been treated the last few years. It is actually sad to me, and the questions always pop in my head. Was I really that disgusting looking fat? Was I unapproachable fat? Was I as happy I thought I was? All these questions have to do with your body image. I guess what I am saying is be prepared to face some demons you did not know were there. The body image issue is much broader than you realize. It's not that I don't see myself skinny. It's that I am surprised at how happy I am with it. I hope this helps a little. This journey will take you to new highs and some lows so be prepared! Good luck!!![/quote'] So true Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shawna29 60 Posted May 15, 2013 I came into this world at 8lbs 5oz and have been obese ever since. I have no idea what "small " feels like. I don't remember what it was like to sit with my legs crossed. But I'm determined to find out! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites